Second Chance To Help
by Cenaforever1028
Summary: Clara Randall has just moved to Crestmont. She has a dark secret. Meanwhile Clay feels like he's betraying Hannah when he starts to fall for Clara. Will he be able to help her?
1. Chapter 1

Seventeen year old Clara Randall and her family had just moved to Crestmont. Tomorrow she was starting her senior year at Liberty High. She had light white skin, dark brown eyes and light straight brown hair down to the middle of her back. She'd lived in Crestmont for a week but hadn't had time to make any friends, because she was helping her parents unpack and set up the family business. It was called "Randall's Pizzeria" it used to be a pharmacy. Clara and her parents were sitting down to dinner.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Clara's dad Nick asked.

"A little." "I mean it is a new school."

"You're gonna do great." Clara's mom Christy said. "Just like your dad and I are nervous about opening the new store but it'll be great."

The next morning Clara drove to school. She was trying to get her locker open.

"Damn it." She said.

She didn't know it but Clay Jensen was watching her struggle to get her locker open from his locker. He was going to help her but she got it open. It was still strange for him to see anyone but Hannah at that locker.

Clara went into her communications class. She sat down next to Clay. He was staring at her.

"Jesus, do I look that bad?" She asked.

"No, I'm sorry." He saw a light in her. A kindness. "I'm Clay."

"I'm Clara."

"Ok class, quiet down." The teacher said.

Later that day Clara was at lunch. The jocks were at another table talking about her.

"Damn, that new girl is fucking hot." Bryce said.

"Yeah and she's mine." Monty said. "Back off."

"Ok, I'll generously let you have this one."

"I'm gonna go invite her to the party."

Monty went over to the table where Clara was sitting alone.

"Hi." "I'm Monty."

"I'm Clara."

"You're new right?"

"Yeah."

"Listen, my friend Bryce is having a party on Saturday if you wanna come."

"I'll try and make it."

"Cool."

After school Clara was in the library. She was waiting for her student tutor to come. She was looking at her history book.

"Clara." Clay said.

She looked up. "Oh, hi." "Clay right?"

"Yeah." "I'm your tutor." He sat down.

Later that night Clay was driving home and saw a car on the side of the road with it's hazard lights on. He decided to pull over to see if he could help. He got out of his car and knocked on the driver's side window. Clara jumped and rolled down the window.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you." Clay said. "Car trouble?"

"Flat tire."

"Um, I don't know how to change a tire but I can give you a ride home."

"I'm waiting on Triple A but thanks."

"I can wait with you if you want."

"Ok."

They got out of the car and sat on the hood.

"So, where are you from?" Clay asked.

"Chicago."

"Why did you move?"

"My parents wanted to open a new store."

"New store?"

"My family owns "Randall's Pizzeria" it's in the place the where the pharmacy used to be."

"Where "Baker's Drugstore" was?"

"Yeah." "I think that was it." Clay got a really sad look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." "Have you made any friends?"

"I was invited to a party this weekend but I don't know if I'm going." "I don't really like parties."

"Me either." The tow truck pulled up.

Later that night. Clara was thrashing in her sleep. She shot up in bed shaking and breathing heavily.


	2. Chapter 2

Clara woke up on Friday morning and was getting ready for school. She just got out of the shower and wiped the steam off the mirror. She opened the medicine cabinet and took out two different pills Buspar, for anxiety and Zoloft for depression. She'd been on them since she was ten. Clara was at school at her locker.

"Hey." Clay said going over to her.

"What's up Clay?"

"Not much." "Tutoring today?"

"I can't today, remember?" "Fridays are out because I have somewhere to be."

"Oh yeah." "I forgot."

"I'll see you in class." She shut her locker and walked away.

After communications class was over Clara checked her comment bag. She got a drawing of a bunny. It was the second one this week. She liked them.

After school Clara went to her car. She could see Clay standing by his car parked three spots down. He was talking to someone Clara had never met but she knew his name was Tony. They started coming over to her.

"Hi Clara." Clay said.

"Hi."

"How was your day?"

"I'm dreading working on that English paper."

"I wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine." "Clara this is Tony." "Tony this is Clara."

"I've seen you around." Clara said. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you to." "Any friend of Clay's is a friend of mine." Tony said.

"I'd hate to introduce myself and run but if I don't leave right now I'm gonna be late."

"See you Monday." Clay said.

"Bye." She got in her car and left.

Tony turned to Clay.

"Don't wait like you did with Hannah?" Tony said.

"What are you talking about?"

"You like Clara." "It's ok."

"Alright, I do." "It's just… He got a really sad look on his face.

"You still love Hannah, I know." "Clay, Hannah was great but she's gone." "You need to move on." "Have you told her about Hannah?"

"No and I'm not going to."

Clara went to her psychiatrist's office. She was sitting on the couch.

"How is school going?" Dr. Nora Jones asked.

"Fine."

"Have you made any friends?"

"One." "His name's Clay."

"What is he like?"

"He's a sweet guy but it seems like he has a wall up."

"How so?"

"Well he's my tutor so we spent a lot of time together." "When he's around me, sometimes, a lot her the time, I feel he's thinking of someone or something else."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Confused but who am I to judge?" "I'm the psycho."

"Clara, say it."

"Just because I take anxiety and depression medication doesn't mean I'm a psycho.

"That's right."

"Has anyone else attempted to make friends with you?"

"I met one of Clay's friends today and I'm invited to a party tomorrow but I don't think I'm going."

"Just remember it's important to have friends."

"I know."

"How are your nightmares?"

"They've started again."

"It's because you're in a new place." "They'll subside eventually."

The next night instead of going to the party Clara decided to help her parents by delivering pizzas. She pulled up to a house and got the pizza out of the car. It was in a warming bag. She went up to the door and knocked. A blonde woman answered.

"Jensen residence?" Clara asked.

"Yes." "Come in." She went in. "I have to get my purse, I'll just be a second." She went into the kitchen. Clay came down the stairs.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"No party tonight?" Clay asked.

"I decided not to go." "I'm helping my parents instead."

"While at the same time avoiding writing your paper?"

"Something like that." Clay's mom came back. "$11.50 please." She gave her that and a five dollar tip. "Thanks."

Later that night Clara shot up in bed again. Again breathing heavily and shaking. She'd tried to calm herself down but done of her calming techniques were working. So she took something from under her mattress, went into the bathroom and shut the door. She sat on the floor and pulled down just her bottoms passed her knees. She folded what was in her hand. It was straight razor. She spread her left leg. High up on the inside of her thigh were about twenty scars. She cut into her skin just deep enough to draw blood. After a few seconds she started calming down.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Monday. Clara was at her locker. She felt someone tap her on the shoulder and turned around. Monty was standing there.

"Hi." Clara said.

"Hi." "Missed you this Saturday."

"Sorry I had to work."

"Where do you work?"

"Well it's not an official job but I sometimes help out at my parents pizza shop." "They do pay me though."

"What pizza shop?"

"Randall's Pizzeria"

"I know that place." "They have good food."

"Thanks."

"Do you have to work this Wednesday?"

"No."

"Wanna go to a movie with me?"

"Ok."

"Maybe dinner after?"

"Sure."

"I'll pick you up at eight o'clock."

"Ok."

"See you later."

"Bye." He walked away. She smiled.

Later that day at lunch Monty was sitting with the rest of the jocks.

"I have a date with Clara Wednesday night." Monty said.

"Gonna fuck her?" Bryce asked.

"Oh yeah." "My parents won't be home." "First I have to lay some groundwork."

Clara sat down at a lunch table. Clay saw her and was going to go over and sit with her but stopped when she saw Monty going over to her.

"Hey." Monty said going over to Clara.

"Hey."

"Come on, I wanna show you something."

"What?"

"Just trust me."

They went outside. He took her to "The Clubhouse" he unlocked the door and they went inside.

"What is this place?" She asked

"The Clubhouse."

"Cool." They sat down on the couch.

"I'm really looking forward to our date."

"Me to."

Later that day Clara was in the library for tutoring with Clay.

"Clara." He said. "Clara did you hear me?"

"Sorry I just have stuff on my mind."

"Like Monty del la Cruz?"

"How'd you know that?"

"I saw you talking to him at lunch."

"We have a date Wednesday." "I'm really nervous about it."

"Wanna just call it quits for the day?"

"Sure."

On Wednesday night Clara and Monty had just gotten to the movies.

"Want any snacks?" Monty asked. "You can have whatever you want."

"Popcorn if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

After the movie they went to "Rosie's Diner" they both had cheeseburgers and fries. They were both sitting in the same booth.

"I'm having a good time." Monty said.

"Me to."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes." He kissed her. She smiled.

They were leaving and getting in the car.

"Let's go to my house." Monty said. "Nobody's there."

"Um, I don't wanna go."

"Ok."

"Are you mad?"

"No."

The next morning Clay was at school. He got a text on his phone. It was a group text. It read.

Clara Randall is the louseyest lay ever!

As Clara walked into school people were turning and looking at her as she walked down the hall. She couldn't figure out why until she got the text. She went into the bathroom. She couldn't believe what she'd just read. She was looking in the mirror. When she heard people coming she went into one of the stalls.

Three cheerleaders came in

"That's what Monty said." One of them said. "Bryce told me that Monty told him that Clara Randall is the louseyest lay he's ever had."

"She's so pathetic." Another girl said.

Clara went to find Monty. She found him by his locker with the rest of the jocks. She went right up to him.

"Why'd you lie about me?" She asked angrily.

"Look, I don't wanna go out with you again, ok?" Monty said. "Please stop begging it's pathetic." He and his friends walked away.

It was lunch time. Clara could feel everyone staring at her. She sat down and tried to ignore it. She looked over and saw Monty and his friends looking at her and laughing. She ran out of there. Clay saw her and went after her.

Clara went and sat down on a bench. Her heart was racing, she felt dizzy, she was shaking and felt shortness of breath. She was having an anxiety attack. She was doing breathing exercises to try and calm down. Clay sat down next to her.

"Oh my god, are you ok?" "You're shaking." Clay said.

"I'm having an anxiety attack."

"What can I do?"

"Can you take me somewhere?" "I don't care where." "I just need to get out of here."

"Yeah."

He took her to "Monet's"

"What are you having?" Clay asked.

"Cappuccino." "How much is it?"

"I got it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

They were drinking their coffee.

"Monty is such a lying bastard." "We kissed, that's it." Clara said.

"I believe you." "Maybe you shouldn't talk about it." "You need to calm down."

"You're right."

"What kind of movies do you like?"

Twenty minutes passed.

"Thank god." "It's finally starting to pass." She said.

"Good."

They pulled back into the school parking lot.

"If that ever starts happening again, call me." Clay said.

"I will." "Thank you so much Clay."

"For what?"

"Being here for me."

"You're welcome."


	4. Chapter 4

A week had passed. It was three o' clock in the morning on a Saturday night. Clara popped up in bed after another nightmare. She was trying to calm herself down. Nothing was working. Suddenly the thought popped into her head to call Clay.

Clay was sound asleep when his phone started ring. He reached over and picked it up. "Hello?" He said tiredly.

"Clay, it's Clara." She said. She was breathing heavy.

"What's wrong?"

"Were you sleeping?"

"Clara why are you breathing so heavy, what's wrong?" He asked as he sat up in bed.

"I'm having one of my attacks." "I didn't realize it was so late." "Go back to sleep."

"No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." "Have you tried slowing down your breathing?"

"How do you know that one of the techniques I can do?"

"I researched anxiety attacks, just in case you ever have another one at school."

"Well I already tried that." "It didn't work." "So I figured I'd call you to try and take my mind off of it." "So what do you wanna talk about?"

About twenty minutes had passed.

"Ok it's passing." She said.

"I'm glad."

"I think I'm gonna get off of here and try and go back to sleep."

"Ok." "If you ever need someone to talk to again, don't hesitate to call me." "I don't care what time it is."

"Ok." "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Well technically tomorrow's already here." He said jokingly.

She laughed. "Yeah." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

The next day at around four o' clock in the afternoon Clara pulled up outside of Clay's house. He was waiting for her outside. They were going to "Monet's" he was going to help her study for a math test. He got in the car.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." They started driving. Clay noticed one of the bunny drawings he'd left Clara hanging up on her rearview mirror.

"It's cool isn't it?" Clara asked seeing him look at it out of the corner of her eye.

"Yeah." "Did you draw it?" He asked already knowing the answer.

"No." "Someone keeps leaving them for me in my bag in communications class." "I save them all."

They'd just walked into "Monet's" and found a table.

"You want anything?" Clay asked before they sat down.

"Yes but I'm paying this time." "Sit." "You want that Triple Americano thing right?"

"Yes."

By the time they finished studying it was eight o' clock.

"I think you're gonna nail this test." Clay said.

"I hope so." "Are you in a hurry to go home?"

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Good." "I'm starving, come on."

They pulled up outside of the pizza shop her parents owned. The lights were off. Clara noticed a weird look on Clay's face.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing." "It's closed."

"I have a spare set of keys." "Come on."

They went inside and back to the kitchen. Clara was tossing pizza dough up in the air to make it bigger.

"That looks so hard to do." Clay said

"No." "I'm a professional." "My dad taught me how when I was seven."

Clara also made them a cake with molten topping. After they had some pizza they were sitting down eating the cake.

"This is really good." Clay said.

"I told you." "Are you going to the Homecoming dance?"

"No." "Are you?"

"My parents are on me about it." "They want me to go to make friends." "I'm thinking of doing it so they'll be quiet."

"I'm full."

"Me to."

Clara was driving Clay home. They were talking about horror movies.

"I like vampire movies but real vampires none of those "Twilight" vampires."

"I know what you mean, like I hate zombie movies."

"Why?"

"Well they have no real motivation or purpose." "All that's on their mind is brains."

"Yeah they're zombies." She pulled up outside of his house.

"Well thanks for dinner."

"No problem." "That'll be thirteen dollars." She laughed. So did he.

"I had fun tonight." As soon as he said that he started thinking of Hannah.

"Me to." "You ok?" She asked sensing his mind starting to drift.

"Yeah." Have a good night."

"You to." He got out of the car.

When Clara got home she went up to her room and sat at her desk. She took out a piece of paper and a pencil and started writing.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Monday. Clay was at his locker. Tony came up to him.

"Hey Tony."

"Hey, are you going to the dance Friday?"

"No."

"Why?"

"You know I don't do dances."

"I'm pretty sure Clara's going."

"Yeah we talked about it."

"If she's going you have to go."

"Tony, I can't."

"Clay didn't Hannah's death teach you anything?" "You can't wait to tell someone how you feel." There may not be a tomorrow."

Clay shut his locker. "I have to get to class." He walked away.

Clay was in communications. Clara sat in her seat.

"What's up?" Clay said.

"Not much." Clara said.

The class was going on.

"I'd like to read a poem that was left anonymously." Mrs. Bradley, the teacher said. She started to read. "Wonder." "I wonder when you look into the eyes of me, who is it that you see." "When you look into my eyes, often you do not see me." "Instead it's the perfect beauty that is she." "Perfection I know you feel from your gaze of adornment." "Then the utter sadness when you look closer and see that she, isn't me." "Who is she, I do not know but she is to whom you wish to go." "You keep your secret and who am I to demand?" "If you ever what to tell me the secret of she, I'd understand."

"Interpretations anyone?" Mrs. Bradley asked.

"Somebody likes somebody but he's just not into you bro." A boy said.

That Thursday afternoon Clay was at his locker. He felt someone tap him on the shoulder and turned around. It was Clara.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." "Look." She held up her math test.

"You got an A -, that's awesome."

"Here I want to have this." She said handing him twenty dollars.

"For what?"

"When you helped me study for the math test it wasn't part of regular tutoring." "I want to thank you."

"I didn't mind helping you." "I don't want your money."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." "Put it away."

"Ok." She put it away.

"Still planning on going to the dance?"

"Yeah." "I picked out a dress yesterday." "To bad a friend of mine won't be there in case I get bored." She said smiling at him.

"I'd just make it more boring."

"See you for tutoring."

"Bye."

The next night Clara was leaving for the dance. She had on a light blue, silk spaghetti strap dress that came down to her knees. As she went down the stairs Christy was taking pictures.

"You look so beautiful." Christy said.

"Thanks mom." "I'll be back by eleven or a little after."

"I'm surprised you're going to the dance by yourself." "I figured you'd be going with someone."

"Like who?"

"The guy who tutors you, Chris."

"His name's Clay." "We're just friends."

"You two spend an awful lot of time together."

"Yeah, for tutoring."

"So you taking him to the pizza shop after hours was just for tutoring?" "That was him right?"

"Yes."

"Your dad saw you two on the security camera tapes."

"You guys aren't mad are you?"

"No."

"I don't wanna be late."

"Have fun."

Meanwhile at his house Clay came down the stairs. He had on a red dress shirt, a black tie, a black jacket and black dress pants. He went into the kitchen where his mom was.

"I won't be here for dinner mom." "I'm going to the dance." He said.

"You're going to a dance?" She said surprised. "What's the occasion?"

"I just feel like going." "I won't be out late."

"Have fun."

Clara was at the dance. She'd talked to a few people. Tony came up to her.

"Hey Clara." He said.

"Hi Tony."

"Are you here by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"I can't believe nobody asked you."

"It's cool." "I didn't need anybody to."

"Have fun."

"You to." He walked away.

"Clara." She heard from behind her. She turned around.

"Clay." "I thought you weren't coming." She said surprised.

"I figured I'd come make it more boring."

They went and found a table. They'd been talking for the last half hour.

"You look um, really pretty." He said.

"You look pretty handsome yourself." A slow song came on.

"Clara would you maybe, like to um…

"Dance?"

"Yes."

"Sure." They went out to the dancefloor. He very tentatively put his hands on her. They started to dance. "You're a good dancer."

"So are you."

"I'm glad you decided to come."

"Me to."

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Really?"

"Yeah." "You've made me feel welcome since I came here." "Everyone else just wants to spread rumors about me."

"Don't listen to those people." "You're not what they say."

"I know."

"You're…

"What?" The slowly started drifting closer to each other's lips. The song they were dancing to stopped. Suddenly Clay stopped dead in his tracks when he heard the next song come on.

"Oohhhh, oohhhh." Clay heard. Clay knew the song. It was the song he'd danced to with Hannah. It triggered all of his memories of her at once.

Clara could tell there was something wrong with him.

"I'm sorry Clara." "I have to go." He said. "I'm sorry." He hurried out of there leaving Clara confused and hurt.

Clara sat on the bleachers. Tony came and sat down next to her. He'd saw the whole thing.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's ok if you like Clay you know?"

"I don't." "Brainy guys have never been my type." "I'm way to fucked up to be in a relationship anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." She got up.

Clay was in the parking lot in his car crying.


	6. Chapter 6

That Monday Clay had just gotten to school. He was walking through the parking lot.

"Clay." He heard from behind him. He turned around. Tony came up to him.

"Hey Tony." "I feel really bad."

"You mean because of what you did to Clara at the dance?"

"Did she tell you about that?"

"I saw the whole thing."

"You did?"

"Yeah." "You really hurt her." "You didn't see the look on her face when you ran out."

"It's just, when I heard that song, all I could think about Hannah."

"I understand why you ran out but Clara doesn't." "You hurt her feelings."

"I know." "I need to apologize to her."

"You need to tell her how you feel.'

"I'm not ready."

Clara was about to walk in to communications class. As she was getting ready to walk in she saw Clay sitting in his seat. She took a deep breath walked in and took her seat.

"Hi Clara." He said.

"Hi Clay." She said forcing herself to smile.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?"

Later that day it was time for Clara's tutoring session with Clay. She was waiting for him in the library. He came up to the table and sat down.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi."

"Listen, about the dance-

"Clay stop." She said interrupting him. "It's ok."

"I just don't want you to be mad at me."

"There's nothing to be mad about." "Everything's fine." "I promise."

"Ok."

They were finishing up their tutoring session.

"This is a cakewalk compared to what I have to work on later."

"If it's such a cakewalk, why do you need me?" He said jokingly.

"I'll always need you Clay, um, for this I mean."

"What's gonna be so hard for you to work on later?"

"My History paper."

"I can help you with it."

I take up enough of your time Clay."

"I don't mind, really.'

"What about your homework?"

"I'll have plenty of time to do it."

"Ok."

"Wanna come to my house after school?"

"Sure." "Thank you."

"No problem."

After school Clara followed Clay back to his house in her car. They were sitting on the couch. The TV was on. Suddenly Clara heard the song "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" on a commercial.

"I need to use the bathroom." Clara said.

"Top of the stairs."

Clara went upstairs to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and started to cry. She started to shake and breathe heavily, her chest started hurting. Not only was she having an anxiety attack but also a flashback.

"Get away from me." "Leave me alone." She said as she saw the flashback in her mind.

 _Flashback_

 _Seven year old Clara could hear "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star playing on a music box._

 _"Clara, come her." Clara sat down next to the man on the couch. She was wearing a dress. "You're such a pretty girl." He began to run his hand up her leg._

 _"Don't."_

 _"It's ok, I love you."_

 _"No."_

 _"Be a good girl." She started to cry as she felt him inappropriately touching her._

 _End Of Flashback_

"Stop it, please, stop it." She the room started to spin and everything got dark.

Clay heard a thud from downstairs.

"Clara?" He said. "You ok?" He went upstairs. "Clara?" He knocked on the door. "Clara?" "I'm coming in." When he opened the door he saw her unconscious on the floor. "Oh shit!" "Clara." He said scared. He took out his cell phone and dialed 911.

Clay rode in the ambulance with Clara. He was in the waiting room when Clara's parents showed up.

"Clay?" Christy said.

"Yes." He said standing up. "Mr. and Mrs. Randall?"

"We are."

"We're glad you were there." Nick said.

"Can I come back and see Clara tomorrow if they keep her?"

"Yes." Christy said.

Clay left. The doctor came out to talk to Christy and Nick.

Clara woke up to a heart monitor beeping. She looked over and saw her mom and dad.

"What happened?" Clara asked.

"You had one of your severe attacks." Christy said

"At Clay's house?" She said starting to remember.

"Yes." "He called 911."

"Did you hear that song?" Nick asked.

"Yeah." "When can I go home?"

"Well...

"What?"

"The doctor found a fresh cut on your leg." Christy said.

"I cut myself shaving my legs."

"In the same spot as the others?"

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"The hospital won't release you until you talk to the hospital psychologist."

"Psychologist?" "Why?" "I already have a psychiatrist."

"It's hospital policy but she won't be here till Wednesday."

"So I'm stuck here?" "Wonderful." She said frustrated.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Clara was sitting up in her hospital bed. She was watching TV. It was a quarter after eleven. Someone knocked on her door.

"Come in." She said wondering who it could be. She was very surprised to see Clay walk in. "Clay." "Why aren't you at school?"

"Well this is our tutoring period and since you're not at school it's a free period for me." He sat down on the edge of her bed. "How are you doing?"

"Better."

"Good." "When do you get to go home?"

"Tomorrow but I'm not coming back to school till next week." "My parents want me to take it easy."

"I can go around and get your assignments and help you with them, so you don't get to far behind."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

"Ok." "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"For what happened." "I'm so embarrassed." "I made a fool out of myself."

"You had an anxiety attack Clara." "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I just hate when people know about it." "The bad ones I mean." "Now you really know how fucked up I am."

"You're not fucked up." "You're great." "I don't care about your anxiety attacks." "I'm just glad you're ok." He grabbed her hand and held it. "When I found you unconscious it really scared me." "If anything ever happened to you I... The nurse came in.

"It's time for your medicine." The nurse said.

"I have to get back to school anyway." Clay said standing up "I'll see you later Clara."

"Bye." Clara said. Clay left.

"I'm sorry I interrupted." The nurse said. "It looked like you two were having a moment." She went over to her and handed her the medication.

"It's fine."

"Your boyfriend's cute." "How long have you been together?"

"He's not my boyfriend." "We're just friends."

The next day it was around two in the afternoon. The hospital psychologist was coming in an hour. A candy striper came into the room. She was Clara's age. In fact Clara recognized her.

"Hi." The girl said.

"Hi."

"We go to school together right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Emily."

"I'm Clara."

"Would you like a book?"

"Sure."

An hour and a half later the hospital psychologist was in front of the nurses station. She'd just got done talking to Clara. She put Clara's file down on the counter. Just as Emily was walking passed. She saw Clara's name on the file.

Two days had passed. It was Friday afternoon at three o'clock. Clara came down the stairs. She was dressed and had make-up and red lip gloss on. Christy had just gotten home from work.

"Hi mom." Clara said.

"Hi." Christy looked at Clara. "Well no messy hair and pajamas today huh?" "What's with the make-up?"

"No reason."

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door. Christy answered it. It was Clay. He had a bookbag with him.

"Hi Clay." Christy said.

"Hi Mrs. Randall."

"Come in." He went in. Clara was sitting on the couch.

"Hi Clay." Clara said.

"Hi." Clay said. "I have your assignments."

"Thank god, you're a lifesaver." "Mom Clay's gonna help me get caught up on my assignments."

"Ok." "I'll be in the dining room." Christy said.

Four hours passed. Clara and Clay were still working and Christy was making dinner.

"Ok Clara, time for English." Clay said.

She rolled her eyes and sighed frustrated. "Clay not English." "I hate English."

"I know that's why I tutor you in it." "Come on."

"You suck Jensen." She said jokingly.

"Ha ha."

"Ok.'

Ten minutes later Nick through the door.

"Hi dad. Clara said.

"Hi Clara." Nick said. "Hi Clay."

"Hi Mr. Randall." Clay said.

"Is mom in the kitchen?" Nick asked Clara.

"Yeah."

Nick went into the kitchen. Christy was standing at the stove.

"Hi Christy." He said.

"Hi." He went over to her. They kissed. "How was your day?"

"Good." "How long has Clay been here?"

"Four hours."

"I've never seen Clara work on homework that long."

"It's pretty obvious why." Christy said smiling.

"I know." "Those two are crazy about each other."

"I think it goes beyond like, I think they're in love."

"You think?"

"Yeah I can just tell by the way they look at each other."

"You should have the sex talk with her again."

"I will because I'm pretty sure they'll be having it before to long."

"I don't want to think about that."

"Dinner's ready."

"Should I set four plates?"

"Yeah." Christy went into the living room. "Clara dinner." "Clay would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Sure." Clay said. "Let me just text my mom."

After dinner Clay was getting ready to leave. Clara walked him to the door.

"Thanks for all your help today." Clara said.

"I'll be back tomorrow, we'll finish that English." He said smiling.

"You enjoy torturing me don't you Clay?"

"A little." "See ya."

"Bye." He left.

Clara and Christy were doing the dishes.

"I like Clay." Christy said. "He's great."

"We've become really good friends."

"Does he know you like him?"

"What?" "No I don't." "Mom, you know he's not my type."

"Yeah which is why I'm surprised you like him." "I know he's not a jock like what you normally go after but he's nice, he's sweet and he's cute."

"Don't let dad hear you say that." She said jokingly.

"Why are you so scared to tell Clay how you feel?"

"Even if I did like him, which I don't, it wouldn't make any difference." "He likes someone else."

"What?" "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"I don't know who she is but sometimes I can sense he's thinking about her." "Trust me, he doesn't like me, not that I want him to."

The next night Emily was at a party at Bryce's house. She was talking to the jocks.

"Get this." She said. "Not only is Clara Randall a lousey lay but she's also a psycho." "She was in the hospital where I volunteer." "She had to see the hospital psychologist."


	8. Chapter 8

It was Sunday night. Clara and Clay were talking on Skype.

"I only have like three or four more assignments and I'm all caught up." She said.

"Good."

"Thank you for helping me this weekend." "I'd be way more behind then I am if it wasn't for you."

"It's no problem."

"Are you sure you don't want any money Clay?" "I took up your whole weekend."

"I don't want any money."

"Ok." "I'm gonna get off of here and go to bed."

"Alright." "See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." They disconnected.

As Clay went to lay down he saw his old bike helmet and thought of Hannah.

The next morning Clara walked into school. She noticed some people staring at her and laughing. From past experience she knew something was wrong. When she got to her locker she saw the words "Psycho Bitch" written on her locker. When she opened her locker about twenty mini straight jackets made out of notebook paper fell out of her locker. She picked them all up and ran to the bathroom.

Clay got to school about ten minutes later. As soon as he saw Clara's locker he texted her.

Clara was sitting in a bathroom stall when she got a text. It read.

Are you ok? - Clay

She didn't respond.

Clara was in communications class. Clay came in and sat in his seat.

"Clara, are you ok?" He asked.

She looked at him with a really sad look on her face. "No."

When it was time for Clara's tutoring session Clay was waiting for her in the library. Clara came up to the table Clay was sitting at.

"Clay I don't wanna do this today."

"Ok."

"Feel like leaving for this period?" "I need to get out of here for awhile."

"Sure." He stood up. "I'll drive."

They went somewhere and parked.

"It had to be that candy striper that spread the fact that I was in the hospital." Clara said. "She must've seen my chart somehow." "Now the whole school knows I'm nuts."

"You're not nuts." She started crying. "It's ok."

"Why is everyone so mean to me?" She said through her tears.

"The hell with what everyone else thinks Clara." She hugged him. "Ssh." "It's ok." "Try and calm down, I don't want you to have an anxiety attack." "Breathe."

"Ok." She started to breathe slowly.

"That's it." She looked at him and kissed him but away quickly once she realized what she was doing. Clay had a surprised look on his face.

"I can't believe I just did that." She said embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She got back in her seat.

"Don't be."

"I know you like someone else."

"Someone else?" "No I don't." "There's nobody else." "I promise." "I like you."

She looked at him. "Really?" "You do?"

"Yeah." "I have for awhile now."

"I like you too." "A lot."

"Would you like to give going out a try?"

"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"I'd like that." He kissed her. She kissed him back.

Twenty minutes later she was sitting on Clay's lap sideways. They were making out. He broke the kiss.

"What?" She asked.

"We have to get back to school."

"No."

"Yes."

"Ok."

They went back to school and got out of the car.

"Wanna meet up at "Monet's" after school?" Clay asked.

"Sure." She kissed him. "Bye.'

"Bye."


	9. Chapter 9

Clara and Clay had been dating for a month. They were very happy but every once in awhile Clara would still sense that Clay was thinking about someone else. She did her best to push it out of her mind. She'd just gotten to school. As she went up to Clay who was athiat locker his back was to her. She tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and smiled.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi sweetheart." They kissed.

"You're a little late this morning." He closed his locker.

"Yeah, I had kind of a late night."

"Clara did you have another nightmare last night?"

"No." She looked down at the floor.

"Clara."

She looked at him. "Ok, yes."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"It was four o'clock in the morning." "I didn't want to wake you." "You shouldn't have to suffer and be tired because of my problems."

"I've told you baby, I don't mind."

"Well I do."

"So you had one of your attacks all by yourself?"

"It didn't last that long."

"Next time you have a nightmare and an attack, I want you to call me." " "I don't care what time it is."

"Ok."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"Thank you."

Later that day Clara was sitting in the library waiting for Clay to start their tutoring session. He came and sat down next to her.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi."

"How's your day going?"

"Good." "Yours?"

"Good." "Ready for some English?"

"No." "I'd rather be making out with my boyfriend." She said smiling.

"Ha ha."

"I'm serious."

"I know but we have to work right now." "He'd rather be making out with his girlfriend to."

"Ok, let's work."

"How far along are you in the book?"

"I have two more chapters."

"Have you started the paper yet?"

"I've jotted down some ideas." "I hate book reports."

"I know but with me helping you it won't be that bad." "You told your mom that you were coming to my house after school, so I could help you with this right?"

"Yeah." Under the table she grabbed his hand and held it.

After school Clara followed Clay home in her car. They'd spent the next four hours in his kitchen working on the paper. It was about halfway done.

"I'm ready to stop for today." She said

"Ok."

"My brain hurts."

He leaned over and kissed her temple. "Is that any better?"

"Yeah." They kissed. They broke it when they heard the front door open.

"Hello?" Clay's mom said as she came through the door. Clara and Clay stood up and went into the living room.

"Hi mom." Clay said

"Is this Clara?" Clay's mom asked looking at her.

"It is."

"It's so nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you to Mrs. Jensen." Clara said.

"You were right Clay, she's beautiful."

"Thank you." "I should get going."

"You don't have to run off."

"I have to get home for dinner."

"Speaking of dinner, I've been wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner." "Clay's father has been wanting to meet you to."

"Next Tuesday would be the best time for me."

"Tuesday it is." "Seven?"

"Sure."

"I'd better get dinner started for us." She went into the kitchen.

Clay walked Clara to the door.

"Now, if you wake up tonight and need someone to talk to, what are you gonna do?" Clay asked.

"Call you, I promise."

"Ok." They kissed. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

The next night Clara and Clay were at the movies. They were standing in the lobby.

"I don't think I could ever work here." Clara said. "I couldn't wear that tie they have to wear."

"It's not that bad." Clay said. "I worked here for a year."

"You did?"

"Yeah me and um, a friend of mine."

"Tony?"

"No." He looked over at the concession stand and had a flashback of he and Hannah standing behind the counter.

Clara could sense Clay was thinking of someone else again. "Clay." "Clay."

"What?" He said snapping out of his thoughts.

"Are you ok sweetheart?"

"I'm fine." "Come on, we don't wanna miss the beginning of the movie."

The next night Clara had again popped up in bed from having a nightmare. It was three o'clock in the morningHer anxiety attack had started. She thought about calling Clay but didn't want to wake him. She couldn't calm down, so she got her straight razor from it's hiding place, went into the bathroom, sat down and cut her leg. She felt relief almost instantly.


	10. Chapter 10

Clara and Tony were getting a manicure.

"How are things with you and Clay?" Tony asked.

"Good."

He could tell something was on her mind. "What?"

"I can't tell you you'll tell Clay."

"No I won't." "I'm Clay's friend but I'm your friend to." "If you don't want me to tell him something, I won't." "You can trust me."

"Ok." I'm happier with Clay then I have ever been in a relationship."

"But?"

"He treats me great but sometimes I feel like he's thinking of someone else." "Sometimes when he looks at me, I feel like he sees someone else, or wishes I was someone else." "It sucks because I want him to be happy with me." "There's also times I feel like he's completely with me." "I don't know." "He's never given me a reason not to trust him."

"I'm sure there's nobody else." "Clay is crazy about you."

"I love him Tony."

"He doesn't know that does he?"

"No." "I just hope it's not one sided."

"I'm sure it's not."

After the manicure Clara went to pick up Clay. He was waiting for her outside. He got in the car.

"Hi sweetheart." She said.

"Hi." They kissed. "Did you get your manicure?"

"Yep." She showed him.

"Nice."

"My parents want to know if you want to have dinner with us tonight." "I'm supposed to text my mom and let her know."

"Tell her yes."

They went to "Monet's to study for a History test.

When they got back to Clara's house they were having dinner with Clara's parents.

"Clay, Clara tells me you're looking for a job." Nick said.

"Yes I am."

"Have you ever worked before?"

"I worked at the "Crestmont Theater" for a year."

"Do you want a job delivering pizzas?"

"Dad, are you serious?" Clara asked.

"Yes."

"I'll take the job." Clay said.

"Great." "Your hours will be Monday thru Thursday, from four to nine." "Can you start this Monday?"

"Yes." "Thank you very much." "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

After dinner Clara told her parents that she was taking Clay home, but they were really parked in the spot where they had their first kiss. They were laying down in the backseat making out. He was on top of her. She broke the kiss.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Clay, do I make you happy?" "Are you happy in this relationship?"

"What?" "Clara, of course I'm happy with you." "I couldn't be happier in this relationship." "I haven't been this happy in a long time."

"I just needed to hear that."

"Why?"

"Just come here." They kissed.

Two nights later Clara was in her room doing homework. Christy came into the room.

"Clara we need to talk." Christy said. She shut the door. "I saw these sticking out of your purse downstairs." She said holding up birth control pills.

Clara's eyes got really big. "Oh god." "I'm grounded aren't I?"

"No." She sat down next to her on the bed. "I just wanna talk, it's alright.'

"I haven't taken any yet."

"I know." "Clay isn't pressuring you is he?"

"No." "We've never even talked about having sex."

"You want to though?"

"Yes." "I never thought I'd want to have sex because of what happened to me but I do with him." "I'm in love with him."

"I know you are."

"I just hope he feels the same way."

"Of course he does Clara, I know it."

"I feel like he's with me but wants someone else sometimes." "I want to be wrong." "I don't want it to be true."

"Why do you think that?"

"I feel it." "Maybe I'm just paranoid." "I mean I'm keeping something from him to."

"Yeah but you've never told anyone that."

"I know."

"I'm so glad you want to be safe when it comes to sex." "Just make sure you're ready before your first time."

"I will."


	11. Chapter 11

Clay had been working at the pizza shop for about a month. He'd just came home from a shift.

"Clay, is that you?" His mom asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah."

"A package came for you today." "It's in here on the table."

Clay went into the kitchen and saw a medium-sized package on the table. "Good it's here." He said. "I don't know why it came in such a big box."

"What is it?"

"A present for Clara."

"That's sweet."

"I'm gonna go take a shower." He picked up the box and went upstairs.

As Clay was getting dressed his cell phone started to ring. It was Clara's ringtone.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hi sweetheart." Clara said.

"Hi."

"How was work tonight?"

"Good." "I made a lot of tips."

"Good."

"What are you doing?"

"Homework."

"Yeah, I have some to do to."

"Still coming over tomorrow to help me with my family tree project?"

"Yeah."

"Well I just wanted to call and say goodnight." "I'm probably gonna go to bed after I finish my homework."

"Ok." "I'll see you in the morning."

"Alright goodnight.'

"Goodnight."

The next afternoon after school Clara and Clay were alone at her house. They were going through old photo albums. There were a lot. About six or seven.

"Your parents really like taking pictures don't they?" Clay said.

"Yeah."

Clay picked up a small one and started flipping through it. "Oh who's this?" Clay showed Clara and a picture. It was of her and a boy. She was in a dress and he was in a tux. He was very tall.

"My ex." "That was Homecoming sophomore year."

"Looks like a big guy."

"He was." "He was captain of the football team."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How many boyfriends have you had, other then me?"

"Two." "You're the first boyfriend I've had since my sophomore year."

"Was your first boyfriend a jock to?"

"Yeah." He was on the basketball team." "When I moved here I started falling back into old patterns."

"That explains why you were so attracted to Monty."

"Yeah, and he proved what a jerk he was." "He just wanted what they wanted, to get me into bed."

"Why are you attracted to me?"

"What?"

"Well I'm not a jock and that seems to be what you like."

"I'm attracted to your kindness, your thoughtfulness, you have beautiful eyes, you're cute, you're an amazing kisser, I happen to find how smart you are very sexy, I know that you would do anything for me and unlike all those jerks, we've been together for two months and you've never even tried to have sex with me."

"Oh." He said smiling.

"I don't want the type of guy I used to go for." "I want you."

"Just so you know, the reason I haven't brought up the subject of sex is because I don't want you to feel any pressure." "Not because I don't want to be with you, I do."

"Well just so you know." She held his hand. "I do want to." "I just hope the fact that I'm a virgin doesn't turn you off."

"It's ok, so am I." The front door opened. Christy walked in. Clara let go of Clay and they went back to looking at photo albums.

Two nights later Clara and Clay were at their spot. They were holding onto each other making out in the backseat of his car. He broke the kiss.

"I have a surprise for you Clara." He said. He reached up in the front seat where his jacket was and took a small rectangular purple box out of one of the pockets. He sat back down. "This is for you." He said handing it to her. "Open it." She opened it. It was sliver diamond heart-shaped necklace.

"Clay." She said looking at him surprised.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it but how did you afford this?"

"Saving tips and a few paychecks."

"This is so sweet."

"I know that for some reason you think I'm unhappy.' "I'm not." "I got you this to prove that to you. "Clara, I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too Clay." They started to make out again. Suddenly the alarm on Clara's phone started beeping. They broke the kiss. "Damn it." "I have to go home.'


	12. Chapter 12

It was two o'clock in the morning. Clay was asleep in his room when his cell phone started ringing. He picked up the phone.

"Hello?" He said tiredly.

"Hi." Clara said breathing heavily.

"Another one?"

"Yeah."

He sat up in bed. "Breathe, ok breathe."

"Ok." She started doing her breathing exercises.

"Good."

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"You know I hate to call you for this."

"It's ok Clara." "Maybe it would help if you told me what your nightmares are about."

"I don't want to."

"That's ok."

"I feel so bad for calling you."

"Clara it's fine, I promise."

"It's just that you worked today." "I know you're tired.'

"Right now I'm just focused on helping you through this."

A half hour passed.

"I'm ok now." She said.

"Ok good."

"Hopefully when I go back to sleep, I'll dream about you."

"I'm hoping for the same thing."

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Ok." "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight.

The next morning Clara had just gotten to school. As she was walking up to Clay at his locker she saw him yawn. He turned and saw her. He smiled.

"Morning." He said.

"Morning." They kissed. She got a guilty look on her face.

"I know what that look means, stop it."

"You're exhausted Clay."

"I'll be fine." "I've got my Triple Americano right here." He said holding up his to go cup.

Two days later it was the afternoon. Clara was at school. She had the pass to use the bathroom. As she was walking down the hall she saw Clay getting something out of his locker. She kissed him on the cheek when she got to him.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi." He got a book out of his locker and closed it. "What are you doing?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"See you at my house later right?"

"Yes." She walked passed him.

"Clara." She turned around. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too." Clay went back to his classroom.

Clara turned around and started walking again. As she turned the corner she came face to face with Monty.

"Aw, you're in love with that fucking dork." Monty said.

"Don't talk about my boyfriend, asshole." She said angrily.

"Enjoy always being second to him Clara." "He'll never love you the way he loved her." He walked away. Clara was confused.

Later that night Clara was in Clay's room using his laptop. She was sitting at his desk typing up a paper. Clay was sitting on his bed working on his homework. They were all alone.

"I'm all done." She said unplugging her flash drive from the laptop.

"Me to." He said closing his book.

She sat down next to him on the bed. "Thank you." They kissed.

They'd been making out for the last twenty minutes. They looked at each other. Without saying it they both knew what was about to come next.

"Are you sure you're ready?" He asked.

"Yes." She took off her shirt. He took off his. They got under the blankets.

"Is this ok?"

"Yes but you should know their might be something on my body you might find strange."

"Everything about you is beautiful." They kissed. Clay wanted this, he wanted her but he couldn't explain why memories of Hannah were flooding his brain. He did his best to try and shut them out. He was kissing the side of her neck.

"Oh Clay." She moaned.

"Oh Hannah." He said.

"Who?" He gasped. "What did you just call me?" She pushed him off of her and got up.

"No." He said shocked at what just came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry Clara." "I didn't mean to."

"My name isn't Hannah." She said angrily.

"I know." He stood up.

"I knew it." She put her shirt back on. "I knew there was someone else."

"No there's not." "I swear there's not."

"I knew you liked someone else but you don't just like her, you love her." She said with tears in her eyes. "She's the one." "The one you always think about when your mind drifts." "You look at me and wish I was her." Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"No." "That's not true."

"She's the person you're really in love with."

"No Clara." "Please calm down." "I don't want you to have one of your attacks."

"Like you care."

"Of course I care." "I love you."

"Not as much as you love Hannah." She took the necklace off that he'd given her and threw it at him. He caught it. "You should be with Hannah." She went to leave.

"Clara stop." He grabbed her hand and turned her around to face him. "I love you." "You know I do."

"It's obvious I'm just a Hannah substitute." "Bye Clay." She was leaving.

"Clara." "Shit." He sat down on his bed.


	13. Chapter 13

Clara went home. She'd been up in her room crying since leaving Clay's house. There was a knock on her bedroom door. She dried her eyes.

"Clara dinner's ready." Christy said.

"I'm not hungry right now." She said trying to sound as normal as possible. "Can you leave it in the oven for me?"

"Sure."

The next morning Clay was waiting for Tony as he pulled into a parking spot at school. Tony got out of the car.

"Hey Clay." Tony said.

"Hey." He said depressed.

"What's wrong?"

"I really fucked up." "Last night Clara and I were getting ready to um...

"I get the picture." "What happened?"

"Instead of saying Clara's name, I said Hannah."

"Clay." He said disapprovingly.

"I didn't mean to." "For some reason I just started thinking of Hannah and her name just came out." "Clara thinks Hannah is who I want."

"Is she?"

"No." "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I love Clara." "I do." "I want to be over Hannah."

"But you're not." "Does Clara know anything about Hannah?"

"No."

"Do you want to be with Clara?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to tell her about Hannah."

Later that day Clay went to the library for Clara's tutoring session. He went to sit down next to her.

"Sit over there." Clara said pointing to the chair acrossed from her. He did.

"You left your flash drive at my house." He put it on the table. She took it.

She opened her notebook. "Where did we leave off yesterday?"

"Clara, talk to me."

"You're my tutor Clay." "So act like it."

"I'm your boyfriend." "Aren't I?"

"Right now, I don't know what you are."

"I love you."

"Yeah, so much that the first time we were gonna make love, you called me Hannah." She said with tears in her eyes. "I don't feel like doing this right now." She got her stuff and left.

Later that night Clara was in her room. Clay appeared in the doorway.

"Hi." He said.

"What do you want Clay?"

"We have to talk." "Can I come in?"

"I guess." She said not wanting him there. He went in and closed the door. Clara was sitting in a chair.

Clay knelt down in front of her. "I want to tell you about Hannah." "Her name was Hannah Baker." "She was my friend." "She committed suicide last year." "I'll be honest, I do think about her sometimes." "Your parents pizza shop, used to be her parents drugstore." "Your locker at school used to be her locker."

"You were in love with her weren't you?"

"Yes."

"Did she know?

"No." "I never thought I'd love anyone else." "Then I met you.'

"Do you still love her?"

"No."

"I don't believe you.' "Clay, I'm sorry about Hannah, I really am." She said with sorrow in her voice. "It's obvious you're not over her." "You need to grieve, so we need to be apart." "I'm breaking up with you."

"No." "I love you.'

"I love you too but your head is not in this relationship Clay." "I'm sorry." "Please go now."

"Clara." He said sadly.

"Please don't make this harder." He left.


	14. Chapter 14

Clara and Clay had been broken up for a month. She'd requested a new tutor. She had a girl tutor now. She'd changed her seat in communications class. They hadn't really spoken, except in passing a few times. It killed Clara every single time. Clay was in just as much pain as she was. He wished there was something he could do to convince Clara to take him back. He was getting ready to go home from a shift.

"Make a lot of tips tonight Clay?" Nick asked.

"It was a decent night."

"Good."

"How's Clara doing?"

Nick could see the sadness in Clay's eyes when he asked him that. "She's fine.'

"Good." "Well that's it for me for the night."

"Have a good night."

"You to."

A few hours later Nick came home. Christy was sitting on the couch.

"How was work tonight?" Christy asked

"Unusually busy." He said sitting down next to her. They kissed.

"Good."

"Where's Clara?"

"In her room."

"At least twice a week Clay asks me how Clara is."

"Aw."

"He's so brokenhearted."

"They both are." "I here Clara crying sometimes."

"I almost want to tell her to give him another chance."

"She says Clay's not done grieving the death of his friend." "She said that he loved her and she thinks he still does and that's part of the reason why she broke up with him."

They heard Clara coming down the stairs.

"Hi dad." Clara said.

"Hi Clara."

Two nights later Clara pulled up outside of the pizza shop to pick up dinner. She went inside and up to the counter.

"It'll be ready in a second." Nick said from behind the counter. He went to the back.

Clay came out twenty seconds later carrying the food. He put it on the counter. Clara picked it up.

"Hi Clay." She said.

"Hi Clara."

"How are you?"

"Good."

"That's good." "Bye."

"Bye."

When Clara got in her car she broke into tears. She wiped her eyes and drove away..

The next day at school everyone got a text that said there was a party on Saturday. Clara was planning on going and having a few drinks to ease the pain she'd been feeling the last month.

Later that night Clay went to bed.

 _Clay found himself sitting in a chair outside the movie theater. There was an empty chair next to him._

 _"Hey Helmet." Hannah said suddenly appearing in front of him._

 _"Hannah." He said in disbelief._

 _"We need to talk." She sat down next to him. "Clay, you need to let me go."_

 _"I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _"Yes you do."_

 _"I had a girlfriend."_

 _"Yes had, because you still love me."_

 _"I love Clara to."_

 _"That's the thing, you don't need to love her to." "You need to love her only." "It's ok to think of me and remember me but you need to move on." "Once upon a time maybe we could have been something, I'm gone Clay, Clara isn't." "She's a great girl." "Don't feel guilty for wanting to be with her." "I want you to be happy."_

 _"She broke up with_ me."

 _"I know." "Get her back." "She needs you." "Be happy Clay."_

Clay woke up. The dream felt so real.


	15. Chapter 15

It was Saturday evening. Clara, Nick and Christy were having dinner.

"Do you guys care if I go out tonight?" Clara asked.

"Where are you going?" Christy asked.

"Just out for awhile." "Maybe to a movie and bowling."

"With who?" Nick asked.

"I was thinking about calling Tony."

"Well you two have fun." Christy said. "Be home by one." "If you're going to be later call.'

"I will."

What Clara had told her parents was a lie. She had no intention of doing any of those things or calling Tony. She was going to the party.

Clara was driving to the party. All she wanted to do was forget about her pain and Clay for one night.

When she got there Clara saw a lot of people she knew but she didn't care about that. She went right to the kitchen and got a beer. Two hours later she was very drunk. She went and sat down in the living room.

"Clara Randall." Monty said as he came into the living room. "You're the last person I'd expect to see here."

"I needed a few drinks."

"To get over your nerd?"

"Go to hell." "As much as I'd hate to admit it, you were right." "I'll always be second to Clay." "It doesn't matter if I get with a great guy like Clay, or an asshole like you." "I'll always get my heart broken."

She got up and went outside to go home. She stumbled to the car and got in. As she was driving she started to pass out. Her eyes closed and she went to the other side of the street. A car was coming towards her. It beeped at her. That woke her up. She swerved to miss the car and hit a tree head on. She had a big gash on her head. The windshield and driver's side window had shattered. From the flying glass Clara had cuts on her face. She had intense pain in her right leg. The woman in the car she almost hit got out of her car and went to check on her.

"Are you ok?" The woman asked.

"No!" "My leg! "Ow!" "Ow!" "It hurts!" "My leg!" She screamed.

"It's ok." "I called 911." "Help is on the way."

Clara had passed out in the ambulance. She didn't wake up until the next morning. She looked around very confused. She saw her parents.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"You were in a car accident." Christy said. "You hit a tree."

"I'm sorry about the car.'

"We don't care about the car." Nick said. "What's the last thing you remember?" She didn't say anything. "We know you were drunk." "So you might as well tell us."

"I was at a party." "That's the last thing I remember."

"By yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Why were you drinking and driving?" "We taught you better then that."

"I'm sorry." She started to cry a little. "I messed up."

"Clara, this isn't like you." Christy said. "Why did you do this?"

"I just wanted to feel better." She wiped her eyes and looked at her right leg. It had a cast on it.

"You broke it." "It'll take awhile to heal."

"You have to go to court next month for a DWI." Nick said.

"Am I going to jail?" Clara asked.

"I talked to our lawyer." "He said since it'll be your first offense you'll most likely get probation." "We'd ground you but since you're going to be home recuperating for the next couple of months it's pointless."

"My leg hurts."

"I'll have the nurse bring you some pain medicine." Christy said.

Clay had just woke up. He was coming down the stairs.

"Clay." His mom said. "Come here." He went into the living room. "I have to tell something." "Clara's been in an accident, a car accident."

"No please don't tell me that she's... He had tears in his eyes.

"She's fine but she's pretty banged up." "She has a broken leg."

"I have to go see her.'"

Clara and her parents were in her room. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Christy said. Clay walked in. "Hi Clay.."

"Hi." He said.

"I feel like a coffee." Nick said.

"Me to." Christy said. They left.

"Hi Clay." Clara said.

"Hi." He went up to her and hugged her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

"How's your leg?"

"It doesn't feel that bad right now thanks to the pain medicine."

"What happened?"

"I went to a party and had to much to drink." "I don't remember but I hit a tree."

"Drinking?" "That isn't you.'

"I know but I just needed a few drinks." "It was a mistake."

"I'm just glad you're ok." "Why were you drinking?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm gonna go."

"Thanks for coming."

"No problem." He went to the door opened it and looked back at her. "Bye Clara."

"Bye Clay." He left.


	16. Chapter 16

Clara had spent five days in the hospital. She was going to be spending the next three months at home. Clara and her parents had just gotten home from the hospital. Christy was pushing Clara's wheelchair.

"It feels so good to be home." Clara said.

"I'll bet." Nick said. "Look what I installed over there." He said pointing.

Clara looked toward the stairs and saw a chair lift. "Oh, that's one of those chairs that takes old people upstairs right?"

"Yes." "This way you can sleep in your bed, even with your broken leg."

"Cool."

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Yes." "I think I need a pain pill to."

"I'll get you a pain pill." Christy said. "Want me to make you something to eat?"

"Yes."

Clay was at school. He'd just gotten called down to the guidance counselors office. He hadn't met her yet. The door to her office was open. He stood in the doorway.

"Hi I'm Clay Jensen." He said. "I got a message that you wanted to see me."

"Yes come in." He went in. "Please have a seat." He sat down. "I'm Miss Singh." "It's nice to meet you." "I wanted to talk to you about Clara Randall."

"What about her?"

"You are her boyfriend, correct?"

"Actually no." "Not anymore." "We broke up."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I don't know if you know this but she was in a car accident and has a broken leg."

"I know that."

"Did you know she'll be out of school for the next three months?"

"No."

"I was going to ask you if you'd be interested in bringing her her assignments daily and helping her with some of them."

"I can talk to her about it and let you know what she says."

"As long as you give me an answer by tomorrow morning."

"Ok."

It was around three o'clock in the afternoon. Clara was upstairs sitting up in her bed.

"Hi Clara." Clay said from the doorway.

"Hi Clay." "Come in." He went in.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel ok."

"Good." "Listen, the reason I'm here is because the school wants me to bring you your assignments every day, and help you with some of them."

"Ironic that the school would pick you."

"The guidance counselor thought we were still dating." "It doesn't have to be me if you don't want it to be."

"What about work and everything?"

"I can come here after work." "It's no problem."

"Well you do know my best and worst subjects better then anyone." "Ok." "It can be you."

"Ok."

"Listen to me though ok, just because I'm letting you help me, doesn't mean we're getting back together Clay." "So if that's why you want to do this you're wasting your time."

"I just want to help you Clara." "As a friend." "We used to be friends."

"I know it's just harder to go back to that once you've dated someone." "Once you've told them that you... She got a really sad look on her face. "Come on Clay give me a break."

"I have to go." "I have to get ready for work."

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Bye." He left.


	17. Chapter 17

A week had passed since Clay had been helping Clara with her assignments. Clara and Tony were in her room. They were playing rummy.

"I'm out." Clara said laying down her last card.

"Damn, you won again."

"I'm the queen of cards." She said smiling.

"How's it going with Clay helping you with your school work?"

"Ok." "It's a little awkward for me, probably for him to." "I mean the whole reason I requested a new tutor was so i wouldn't have to spend time with him anymore."

"Yet your letting him help you even though you had the option to get out."

"Just because he knows what I'm good and bad at."

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" He said looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up Tony." She said smiling.

"Come on Clara, I know you still love him."

"Let's play again."

"You're going down this time."

"I don't think so."

The next afternoon at around three o'clock. Clara was sitting on the couch. Clay walked in.

"Hi Clay." She said.

"Hi Clara." He said. He sat down on the edge of the couch. "I have your stuff."

"My stuff?" She said laughing a little. "It sounds like you brought me drugs."

"Ha ha." Clara's stomach growled. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Want me to make you a sandwich?"

"You don't have to."

"I don't mind." "What kind?" "Bologna or turkey?"

"Turkey."

"With mustard right?"

"Yes."

"Ok." He went into the kitchen and made the sandwich. "Do you want a drink?" He said from the kitchen.

"Milk."

"Chocolate?"

"Yeah."

"Nestle Quik?"

"Yeah." He brought her the sandwich and milk. "Thanks."

"No problem."

A few hours passed. Christy was home making dinner. Clara and Clay were still working.

"Ok I think it's time for some-

"For the love of god Clay, don't say it." Clara said

"English."

"I'd rather break my other leg."

"Come on, if you do it I'll give you a, oh right we don't kiss anymore."

"No we don't."

"Clay dinner's ready." Christy said coming into the living room. "Would you like to stay?"

"Do you care?" Clay asked looking at Clara.

"No we can work on English after dinner I guess." Clara said.

Christy looked at Clara. "Do you want to eat in the kitchen?"

"No I don't feel like moving." Clara said.

"Clay can you get Nick in the den for me?" Christy asked.

"Sure." Clay said.

Christy, Nick and Clay were in the kitchen.

"I'll take Clara's food." Clay said.

"I need a pain pill." Clara said from the living room.

Clay brought her her food and her pill.

"Do you care if I eat in here with you?" Clay asked.

"No."

After dinner Clara and Clay were working on English. Nick was back in the den and Christy was doing the dishes. Clay was sitting on the floor.

"What did you write down for number seven?" He asked. She didn't answer him. "Clara." He looked back and she was asleep. He stood up and covered her up with a blanket that was on the back of the couch. He kissed her forehead. "I love you." He whispered. Christy heard him and smiled. Clay gathered up his things and went into the kitchen. "Well we're done for the night." "The pill knocked her out."

"Ok." "Thank you for doing this for her."

"It's no problem."

"You still love her don't you?"

"Not like it matters." He said sadly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."


	18. Chapter 18

It was the around six in the afternoon. Clara was sitting on the couch. Clay came through the front door.

"Hi." Clara said.

"Hi."

"Did you get my text message?"

"Yep, I got your Cappuccino right here." He went over and gave it to her.

"Thanks." She got into her purse and handed him some money.

"That's ok."

"You're taking it."

"No."

"Clay, don't make me kick your ass."

"Ok." "I'll take it." He took it. "Do you care if I do some of my homework before I help you?"

"Not at all."

A little bit of time passed. Clara was flipping through the channels. Clay looked up.

"Star Wars." He said.

"I'll leave it on for you."

"That's ok."

"It's the least I can do." "You're such a dork." She said smiling.

"Says the girl who used to date me. " He said smiling back.

"Did you see a lot of old movies when you worked at the theater?"

"Some." "I was busy with other stuff most of the time." "It sucked to clean the theaters after closing." "It was disgusting."

"I'll bet."

"I used to flip Han- um, the other person that worked there for it to see who had to do it."

"Hannah worked there with you?"

"Yes." "That's where we first met." "She trained me."

"Oh." "I should get back to work."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

An hour later Clay was helping Clara with English.

"Do you have a picture of Hannah?" She asked suddenly.

"What?" He asked confused.

"I want to know what she looked like." "I'm curious."

"I don't have one but I can find one online." He got out his cell phone. It took a few seconds. "This is her." He said showing her.

"Wow, she was beautiful." "I can see why you love her."

"Clara I-

"Let's get back to work." She said interrupting him.

"I wanna talk about this." Christy walked through the door.

"I think it's gonna storm." Christy said. "Hi you two." She said looking at them.

"Hi mom." Clara said.

"Hi Christy." Clay said..

Clara and Clay got back to work. Ten minutes later it started thunderstorming. Within the next two hours Nick had came home and dinner was made. Clay stayed for dinner. Clara had fallen asleep after dinner due to her pain pills. The storm had gotten worse. Clay, Christy and Nick were in the kitchen.

"I don't want you driving home in this Clay." Christy said.

"I agree with you." Nick said. "I think we should call your parents and tell them you're staying here for your own safety."

"If you guys don't mind."

"Not at all." Christy said. "You can sleep on the other couch in the living room." "I'll call your parents."

It was three o'clock in the morning. Clay was awakened by the noises of Clara thrashing in her sleep. He got up and over to her. He sat on the edge of the couch.

"Clara." He said. "Clara wake up." She opened her eyes and shot up. "It's ok." She hugged him. She was shaking. "You're shaking, it's alright, it's over." "Breathe." She started breathing slowly. He put his arms around her. "That's good." While Clay hated the circumstances surrounding it, holding Clara again felt so good. He took a deep breath taking in the moment.

"What are you doing here?"

"Your parents didn't want me to drive home in the storm." "Tell me about your nightmares."

"I can't." "I don't want you to know." She started to cry.

He looked at her still holding her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm so sick of this." "My nightmares stress me out." "It gets overwhelming sometimes."

"It's ok Clara." Slowly he pressed his lips to hers. To his surprise she started kissing him back. Feeling the warmth and softness of her lips again felt wonderful.

She cupped her hands around his face. She was enjoying kissing him but suddenly him saying "Oh Hannah" popped into her head. She wondered if he was imagining her right now. She broke the kiss. "I can't Clay." "I can't do this." "Go back to bed."

"Clara."

"Clay please." He went back to the couch. She laid down.


	19. Chapter 19

It was two days later on a Sunday. Clara and Christy were in the kitchen.

"I can't wait to get this cast off." "I'm sick of this chair." Clara said.

"I know."

"I have no one to blame but myself."

"You were drinking that night because of Clay weren't you?"

"I just wanted not to think about him for one night."

"Did it work?"

"Not really." "I'm so pathetic."

"No you're not." "Why do you say that?"

"I'm jealous of a dead girl." "Who gets jealous of a dead girl?" "She was beautiful mom."

"You're beautiful."

"I'm not like her." "She's perfect." "She'll always be who Clay really wants." "What did she have that I don't have?" "I guess I'll always wonder."

"You know, your dad and I met when we were in high school."

"I know."

"Yeah, but you don't know we broke up three times.'

"What?" She said surprised.

"Yeah." "I broke up with him once and he broke up with me twice."

"Why?"

"Well we'd been together since freshman year." "Around junior year I started to wonder if I was missing out, so I broke it off."

"Did you date anybody else?"

"A few guys but they were jerks."

"What about the other times?"

"Your dad broke up with me to go out with Rebecca Stone senior year." "I hated her."

"I bet." "Were both times because of her?"

"Yeah."

"At least you had competition." "I can't compete with Hannah."

Later that night Clay came over to help Clara with a project. They were sitting on the couch. Christy and Nick were getting ready to go out to dinner.

"We won't be out late." Christy said.

"Alright." Clara said. They left.

An hour passed. Clay stopped working. Clara looked at him.

"Are we really not gonna talk about what happened the other night?" Clay asked.

"I don't want to."

"Kissing you again was-

"Clay stop it." She said interrupting him.

"I love you."

"Stop." She said looking at him with tears in her eyes.

"You didn't feel anything when we were kissing?"

"Of course I did."

"I miss you."

She sighed frustrated. "Clay I love you, but I can't be with you."

"Why?"

"Ever since I first kissed you you lied to me."

"I never lied to you."

"You said there was nobody else." "She's not alive but there is someone else." "There always has been."

"I should've told you about Hannah from the start."

"If we were to get back together I'd want it to be just you and me and it won't be."

"Yes it will be."

"It's always me and you and... Hannah." "I can't do that anymore." She wiped her eyes. "I'm not Hannah, I'll never be Hannah."

"I don't want you to be Hannah."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"That's why you said her name instead of mine when we were about to have sex right?"

"I don't know why I started thinking of her then." "I wanted to be with you that night, not her." "I promise."

"Just like you promised me there wasn't anybody else?" "I don't want to be second to you."

"Clara, you're not."

"I want you to go home."

"We're not done."

"I can finish it by myself." "Please go." He left. She put her hands to her face and cried harder.


	20. Chapter 20

Tony was picking Clara up. They were going to "Monet's" so she could get out of the house for a little bit. She came out using her crutches.

"Outside." She said happily.

"You're free." He went around and opened the passenger door for her and helped her get in the car. He put her crutches in the backseat.

They were at "Monet's" sitting at a table

"Are you nervous about going to court next week?" Tony asked.

"I'm terrified."

"I was nervous the first time I had to face a judge to."

"How many times have you had to?"

"Twice."

"I just want to know what my sentence is and have it be over."

"Did you already submit a plea?"

"Yeah."

"How are things going with your school work?"

"Fine."

"What about Clay?"

"Well a couple weeks ago we had a pretty tense conversation about us."

"Is it because you kissed that one night?"

"Yeah." "It led to a conversation about us getting back together." "He wants to get back together." "I already knew that."

"Do you?"

"Yes but I can't."

"Let me guess, because of Hannah."

"Yes." "He'll never be over her."

"To tell you the truth, since he's met you he doesn't think about Hannah like he used to."

"You mean it used to be worse?"

"A lot worse." "I think he wants to move on with his life." "He loves you."

"Are you saying this because he told you to?"

"No." "I'm saying it because I want my two best friends to be happy." "I know you're both miserable."

"If he would tell me he's over her, I'd go back to him in a second." "I want to be the only one to him." "On the other hand, I want to believe him when he says it would only be just the two of us." "I'm confused." "I don't know what to do."

"I think you should do what feels right to you."

"I don't know what that is right now." "Hey, does Hannah have a gravesite?"

"Yeah."

"Can you take me there?

"Sure."

They went to the cemetery. Tony helped her of the car.

"Do you want me to go up with you?" He asked.

"No."

"I'll be in the car." He got in the car.

Clara went up to Hannah's grave.

"Hi Hannah." She said. "My name is Clara." "I don't know what happened to you but I'm really sorry." "I wish we could talk." "I want to know what you did for Clay that I don't seem to do." "Why does he love you more then he loves me?" "I've never been in love before." "Clay's my first love, and you were his." "I don't know how to measure up to you." "Do I keep fighting an uphill battle?" "Or do I leave him behind for good and find someone else?" "Goodbye Hannah."

Later that night Clay was on the living room couch with Clara helping her with her school work. He'd came over after work.

"Ow." She said.

"Your leg?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah."

"Did you overdo it today moving around?"

"I think I might have."

"Do you want a pain pill?"

"I have to finish this, it's due tomorrow." "Ow!"

"I'll finish it for you." "Lay down." "I'll get you a pain pill." He helped her lay down and got her a pain pill. "Here, you'll feel better now." She took the pill.

"Thanks." She held his hand.

"You're welcome."


	21. Chapter 21

Clara had to be at court in a few hours. She was really nervous about it.

"You look really pretty." Christy said.

"I'm nervous."

"It's ok." Nick said. "Your just getting probation."

"I know it's still nerve-racking to go before a judge."

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Christy said. She opened the door. A man was standing there with flowers.

"Delivery of flowers for Clara Randall." He said.

"Thank you." She took them and shut the door. She took the flowers and went into the kitchen where Clara was sitting in her wheelchair. "Clara, you got flowers." She said smiling.

"Red tulips." Clara said. "I love red tulips." "Are these from you guys?"

"No."

Clara saw a card and opened it. It read.

For luck today. - Love, Clay

"Aw, this is sweet but I really wish he wouldn't do stuff like this." Clara said.

"Clay?" Christy asked.

"Yeah."

Clara sent Clay a text.

Thank you. - Clara

You're welcome. Don't worry everything is gonna be ok. - Clay

Clara and her parents were in the courttoom. The judge came and sat down.

"Well, Miss Randall, since you've already entered your guilty plea, the only left is your sentence." The judge said. "I sentence you to three months probation." "You're to meet with your probation officer every Friday." "From what your lawyer tells me, you're a young woman who made a mistake." "You look as such." "I don't want to see you in here again." "Do you understand?"

"Yes Your Honor."

"Court is adjourned."

Later that day Clay had just gotten to the house. He sat down next to Clara on the couch.

"How it go?" He asked.

"Three months probation." "I have my first meeting with my probation officer on Friday."

"At least it's over."

"Yeah." "Clay, about the flowers." "I don't want you to think I'm not appreciative, I am." "Don't do it again, ok?"

"Ok."

Three days later Clara was in her room laying down. Christy came into the room.

"Clara I have a surprise for you.' Christy said. "I know you could use a pick me up, from all the things that have been going on." She looked towards the door. "Come on in.'

In walked Clara's best friend from Chicago.

"Oh my god, Shelby." She said excitedly.

"Hi." She said. They hugged.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm going on a college tour tomorrow and I had to pass through here." "I thought I'd stop by to say hi."

"I'll leave you two to talk." Christy said. She left.

Clara and Shelby were talking.

"So how are things on the guy front here?" Shelby asked.

"Well I had a boyfriend, he was great but it didn't work out."

"What was his name?"

"Clay." "Wanna see a picture?"

"Yeah."

She got her cell phone. "This is him." She showed her a picture of them.

"Cute but he doesn't look like your type."

"He's not but that's one of the many reasons why I love him."

"You still love him?"

"Yes."

Later that night Clara was on her laptop. Shelby had left. For some reason Clara couldn't explain she searched for Hannah. Before she could look at anything she accidentally clicked on something. Suddenly she heard.

"Hey, it's Hannah, Hannah Baker." "That's right. "Don't adjust your... whatever device you're listening to this on. It's me, live and in stereo." "No return engagements, no encore." "And this time absolutely no requests." "Get a snack.""Settle in." "'Cause I'm about to tell you the story of my life."


	22. Chapter 22

The next day Clara had asked Tony to come over. He came over during lunch period. He went up to Clara's room where she was sitting up in her bed.

"Shut the door." Clara said.

"What's wrong?" He asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I found audio files online last night."

"You found the flies of Hannah's tapes?"

"Yes."

"Clay never told you about them?"

"No."

"How far are you?'

"I made through Alex's tape before I fell asleep." "Tony, is Clay on the tapes?"

"Yes."

"So he contributed to her suicide?"

"No."

"Then why is he on the tapes?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Did they ever date?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"Ok."

"Are you going to listen to the rest of the tapes?"

"As soon as you leave." "I want to know what Clay's says."

Tony was back at school. He saw Clay walking down the hall and walked faster to catch up to him.

"Clay." He said as he came up beside him. "You're in deep shit."

"What?" He said confused.

"Clara knows about the tapes." "She found the audio files." "She's listening to them as we speak."

"No." He said worried. "If she gets to my tape before I have time to explain the part about me and Hannah, she'll never forgive me."

"You should've told her everything about you and Hannah."

"Nothing happened that night."

"I know, but you know how Hannah makes Clara feel."

"I know."

"Good luck."

When Clay got out of school he immediately went to Clara's. She was still upstairs in her bed when he got there. He could tell she'd been crying as soon as he saw her and knew he was to late.

"I just listened to your tape, Helmet." She said angrily. "When you told me about her, you conveniently left out the part where you almost had sex with her."

"We didn't though." He said coming and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Only because she told you to stop." "You wanted to be with her that night and you wanted to be with her... the night you were going to be with me." She said with tears running down her cheeks. "That's why you said her name." "You were thinking about that night."

"No."

"Yes you were."

"Clara no." "I did love Hannah, I did." "I don't anymore." "I love you, more then anything." "You have to believe me."

"I don't believe you." "I can work on my assignments by myself today, go home." He left.

After dinner Clara had Christy take her back up to her room. She put on the next tape.

"Welcome to your second tape, Justin." Hannah said.


	23. Chapter 23

It got to the part of Justin's tapes where Jessica was being raped.

"No." Clara said out loud with tears in her eyes. "Leave her alone." "Stop it." "Hannah do something." After that part of the tape ended, Clara got the trashcan that was next to her bed and threw up. After she finished that tape she was to upset to continue. She went to sleep.

Clay came over that afternoon. Clara was sitting on the couch.

"Hi." Clay said sitting down next to her.

"Hi."

"Did you finish the tapes yet?"

"I have two more."

"I'm sorry." He went to reach for her hand. She pulled it back.

"I don't wanna talk about it." "Not like it matters anyway, I'm not your girlfriend."

"Clara."

"What do you want to start with today?" She asked ignoring him.

After Clay left and Clara and her parents had dinner. She went back to her room and got in her bed to listen to the rest of the tapes. Once she got to the part where Bryce was raping Hannah.

"Leave her alone you bastard!" She said with tears running down her cheeks. As just like the previous night listening to Jessica's rape, she thought of her own abuse. "Get off of her!" "Get off of her!" She got her trashcan and threw up again.

She listened to the rest of the tapes including where Clay got Bryce's confession. Later that night Clay came over after work to help Clara. Christy told him she was in her room. The door was closed. He knocked.

"Come in." She said from the other side of the door. He went in and shut the door behind him. Clara was sitting up in her bed. "I don't want to work tonight." "I want to talk about the tapes." "I finished them."

"Ok." He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Did Bryce rape Jessica to?"

"Yeah."

"Why isn't he in jail?" "I heard you get his confession."

"He got three months probation."

"What?! She said shocked and disgusted. "That's not fair." "People like him and- She stopped. "People like him deserve to be castrated."

"I know."

"What he did to Jessica and Hannah, it's so sick."

"Yes it is." She started to cry. Clay hugged her. He could feel her shaking badly. "You're shaking." "Are you ok?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't tell you." "I just can't." "I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

She looked at him and kissed him. "I don't want to think about it anymore." "I just want to feel better." She kissed him again. He kissed her back. They spent the next half hour making out. Clay knew it meant they weren't back together but in that moment he didn't care. He was just enjoying the closeness.


	24. Chapter 24

Two days had passed. Clay was at his locker at school. Tony came up to him.

"Did Clara finish the tapes?" Tony asked.

"Yeah."

"At least she knows the truth now."

"Yeah." Clay said. It was obvious he had something on his mind.

"What?"

"After Clara finished the tapes last night, she was really upset." "I mean it's natural to be a little upset but she was shaking and crying, like she was thinking about something." "I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn't tell me."

"Do you think she was raped?"

"I don't know." "I hope not."

Later that evening Clay was helping Clara with her schoolwork. They'd just finished working on English, the last asdassignm for the day.

"Clara, I wanna talk to you." Clay said.

"I knew this was coming." "Come on, let's go up to my room." "Can you hand me my crutches?"

"Yeah." He handed her the crutches.

"Mom Clay's gonna make sure I get in my room before he goes." She told Christy who was in the kitchen.

"Ok." Christy said.

Clara went over to the chair lift.

"Do you want me to take up the wheelchair?" Clay asked.

"Yes." Clay folded it up and took it upstairs. She pressed the button to go upstairs.

When she got to the top she got in the chair. Clay pushed the chair into her room.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked.

"Over by the bed." He put her there. "Can you shut the door then come and sit down?*

"Yeah." He went and shut the door and sat down on the edge of the bed. She angled the chair to face him.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The other night, kissing you." "I shouldn't have done that."

"I liked it."

"I know but it was still wrong." "We're not together anymore." "It's not fair to you."

"I want to be together Clara." "I want you back."

"I want to take a few days and think about things."

"What do you mean?"

"I need you to really think about things." "Can you let Hannah go and be with me or are you not ready?"

"I'm ready."

"You say that but I need you to be a hundred percent positive." "Promise me you'll take some time and think about it before giving me an answer."

"I promise."

Three nights later Clara was sitting in her bed. It was a Sunday night. There was a knock at her door.

"Come in." She said. Clay walked in and shut the door behind him. "Hi."

"Hi." He sat on the edge of the bed.

"I wasn't expecting you."

"I know." "I thought about it, a lot." "Hannah will always have a special place in my heart but I want to be with you." "Only you, I swear."

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure."

She smiled. "I was hoping you would decide that." "Let's get back together."

"Really?"

"Yeah." "Come here." They kissed. "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too." "I've missed you calling me sweetheart."

"Can I have my necklace back?"

"Yes."


	25. Chapter 25

Two months had passed. Clara had gotten her cast off had spent the last month in physical therapy. She had three weeks of therapy left. She still had to use a leg brace and crutches. She was going back to school in two days. Clara and Clay were very happy together. Clara no longer felt like Clay's mind drifted. Clara was in a physical therapy session. She was walking holding onto rails on either side of her. She was about halfway there. Clay came in.

"Hi sweetheart." Clara said.

"Hi."

"You look like you're in pain."

"I am."

"She's getting stronger though." The therapist said. "Clay, if you wouldn't mind."

"I know the drill." Clay said. "He went and stood at the end of the rail. "Come here beautiful." Clara made her way to him. "You're getting faster." They kissed. "Ready for me to take you home?"

"Yeah."

"I'll go grab you a chair so you can sit down." He went and got a chair. She sat down. He helped her get her leg brace on and handed her her crutches.

Clay was driving Clara home.

"I can't wait to start driving again." Clara said.

"You don't like me driving you around?" He said jokingly.

"Of course I do." "I just want to be able to drive myself around again."

"Wanna stop by "Monet's"

"Yeah."

They sat down at a table. Clay stood up to go get the coffee.

"Here." Clara said taking money out of her purse.

"I've got it."

"Clay you always pay for it." "Let me get this one."

"Here." He went over to her. "Give me a kiss." She kissed him.

"There, now we're even." "I'll be right back."

After "Monet's" they went back to Clara's house. They were sitting on the couch. They were there alone.

"I can't wait till my leg's better." Clara said. "I want to go back to our spot." "We haven't been there since we got back together."

"When you're better we will."

"I would also like to pick up where we left off, the night we were going to... She smiled.

"So would I." "Again when you're better we will." "I'd never forgive myself if I accidentally hurt you."

Two days later it was Clara's first day back at school. She had to go see Miss Singh when she got there. She went to her office.

"Hi Clara, sit down." She said. She sat down. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better." "I'm almost back to a hundred percent."

"That's great." "I'm glad you kept up with your school work so well while you were out." "The reason I wanted to see you is, while you were gone we assigned your tutor to another student."

"I was wondering if Clay Jensen could go back to doing it."

"Let me check if he has a student during that period." She typed a few things into the computer. "He doesn't have a student." "I'll mark him down as your tutor."

Later that day Clara went into communications class. She went up to the guy who was in the seat next to Clay.

"Here's twenty dollars to change seats." She said putting it on the desk. The guy took the money and got up. Clara sat down.

Later that day Clara was in the library waiting for Clay.

"I have such a pretty new student." He said coming up to the table. He sat down next to her.

"My new tutor's pretty sexy."

"You think so huh?"

"Yeah.

Later that night Clara was in bed. She was having a nightmare. She woke up having one of her panic attacks. She couldn't calm down so she reached under the matress for her straight razor. She knew she couldn't sit on the bathroom floor to do this, so she spread her left leg put a bunch of tissues under it and cut her leg.


	26. Chapter 26

Clara's leg was all better. She was driving to school today for the first time since the accident. She was in the kitchen.

"I bet you're excited today." Nick said.

"I am." "I get to drive." She said smiling.

"You're going to be a lot more responsible right?"

"Yes dad."

"No more drinking and driving?"

"Never again."

"Are you sure you'll be ok when we go away this weekend?" Christy asked coming into the kitchen.

"Yes." "You guys go have a good time."

"What are the rules?" Nick asked.

"No parties."

"And?"

"If I want to see Clay I have to go to his house."

"Yes."

"I have to go."

When Clara got to school she went up to Clay who was at his locker. His back was to her. She tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around. She was holding two coffee cups.

"Triple Americano." She handed it to him.

He took it. "Thank you." "You're the best girlfriend ever." They kissed.

"You're welcome." "I figured it's the only time I'll get to pay for the coffee."

"How was it driving today?"

"Great." "I missed it." Clay closed his locker. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"Hopefully spending time with you."

"My parents are going away this weekend." "It's their anniversary." "They said you're not allowed over while they're gone, but I won't tell if you won't." "Wanna come over Saturday night?" "I'll make us dinner."

"Sure."

It was Saturday night. Clara had dinner cooking. There was a knock at the door. She went to answer it. It was Clay.

"Hi sweetheart." She said.

"Hi." He went in. They kissed.

"Dinner's almost ready." "I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving." "It smells really good."

When dinner was done they were sitting acrossed from each other at the kitchen table. They both started laughing.

"This is so weird." Clara said.

"I know it's like we're married or something."

After dinner they were in the living room watching a movie. They started to make out. She broke the kiss.

"Do you wanna... She made a motion towards the stairs with her eyes.

"If you do." "We don't have to."

"Count to twenty, then come up to my room." She kissed him and went upstairs.

Clay did what Clara told him and went upstairs to her room. When he walked into the room there were candles lit. Clara was standing at the foot of her bed in her bra and panties that were black and red.

"You look beautiful." He said. He went over to her. They started making out very passionately. He took off his shirt. They got in bed and under the covers. He was on top of her. He looked at her. "I love you Clara."

"I love you too Clay."

"Is this ok?"

"Yes, I want this more then anything."

"Me to." They kissed. As they were kissing she felt his hand going up her left leg. His hand went to the inside of her thigh. He felt the scars and cuts and broke the kiss. "What the hell is that?"

"Nothing." He got up and threw back the blankets seeing the scars and three recent cuts on her leg.

"You cut yourself?"

"Clay."

"Why?" He said angrily.

"It's a way to relieve my anxiety, that's all." "Sometimes nothing else works." "That always does."

"How long have you been doing it?"

"Since I was about thirteen."

"You know, I thought you were happy."

"I am." She stood up. "My cutting has nothing to do with you."

"That's what you would rather do instead of talking to me?" He had tears in his eyes.

"No."

"How could you keep something like this from me?"

"How long did you keep Hannah from me again?" She said getting angry.

"That's not the same thing."

"Yes it is."

He put his shirt back on. "I'm going home."

"Good." He left.


	27. Chapter 27

It was Monday morning. Clara and Clay hadn't spoken since Saturday night. Clara and Christy were in the kitchen before Clara had to leave for school.

"Are you and Clay fighting?" Christy asked.

"Why?"

"Well you seem kind of sad, you didn't ask if he could come over when your dad and I got home last night and you haven't gotten a text from him this morning."

"We had an argument Saturday night." "He's mad at me." "It was my fault."

"What were you fighting about?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." "I have to get to school." She left.

When she got to school she didn't even look to see if Clay was his locker. She just went to her locker got her things and went to her first class.

When she went to communications class, out of shame she didn't even look in Clay's direction.

When it was time for Clara's tutoring session she was waiting for him in the library. When he sat down beside her the first thing he did was take her hand. He looked at her.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"No I'm sorry."

"Wanna leave for this period?" "I wanna talk to you."

"You want to cut a class?" She said surprised. They both stood up. "I must be a bad influence on you."

They took Clay's car and went to their spot. He undid his seatbelt.

"Come here." He said.

She undid her seatbelt and sat on his lap sideways. She hugged him. "I'm sorry." "I should've told you but I didn't want you to know." "I didn't want you to know what a freak I am."

"Hey, you are not a freak."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not."

"I know that's the reason why you got mad." "You think it's weird."

"No."

"It's ok."

"I'll tell you the reason I got mad." "I told you Hannah killed herself but I never told you how." "She filled her bathtub up with water, got in and slit her wrists." "She bleed to death." "So when I saw the scars and cuts on you, all I could think about was, what if you decide to kill yourself someday." He said with tears in his eyes. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"I don't do it to try and kill myself, it just, I don't know, feels better then everything else."

"I don't want you to do it anymore." "If you even just think about it, I want you to call me."

"I will."

"Promise me?"

"I promise."

"I mean any time." "I don't care if it's five o'clock in the morning."

"Ok."

"Have you ever thought about killing yourself?"

"No." "I take anxiety and depression medication." "Every Wednesday and Friday I go to a psychiatrist."

"Clara, did someone hurt you?"

"Yes but I don't want to talk about it."

"You can tell me it's ok."

"I don't want to." She started to cry. "You won't love me anymore."

"Yes I will."

"Please don't make me say it."

He hugged her. She cried harder. "It's ok." "We don't have to talk about it." "Ssh, it's ok."


	28. Chapter 28

Clara was at home filling out college applications. She was sitting at the kitchen table. Christy came into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Christy asked.

"Filling out college applications." "I've already filled out five."

"Was one of them for the University Of Michigan?"

"Yes."

"Which one are you working on now?" She saw the application. "Princeton University?" "You've never showed any interest in going there before."

"I know."

"Is that where Clay wants to go?'"

"His first choice."

"I figured."

"When he gets into Princeton, I'm telling him to go."

"You don't know he's getting in yet."

"Yes I do." "His grades are great."

"Your grades are good."

"They have improved since I've been dating him, which is one of the reasons why I think you and dad like him so much." She said smiling. "They're still nowhere near as good as his."

"You could get into Princeton to."

"No way."

The next night Clara was at Clay's house. They were in his room. He was helping her study for a Science test.

"Ok." "What element is this?" He said pointing.

"Sodium Chloride?"

"Very good."

Clay's mom appeared in the doorway.

"I have to go into the office for a few hours." "Can I trust you two to behave?" She asked

"Trust me Lainie, the only we'll be going is dying of boredom." Clara said.

"Ok." She looked at Clay. "Your dad's still at work to, he'll be home late."

"Ok." Clay said. She left.

An hour passed. Clara and Clay had just finished studying. Clara got up to stretch her legs. Clay was sitting in a chair.

"Yay, we're done." She said.

"You've got this."

"I'm just glad the studying is over." She noticed a piece of paper on his dresser. She picked it up. It was an application to the University Of Michigan already filled out. "Sweetheart."

"What?"

She went over to him. "What is this?" He took it.

"An application to the University Of Michigan." He put it on his computer desk.

"Clay no."

"What?"

"I know Princeton is your dream school." "I want you to go there." "I know why you want to go to Michigan." "I'm not gonna let you do that."

"Come here." She sat on his lap sideways. "I don't want to be away from you."

"I don't want to be away from you either but I don't want you to compromise what you want for me." "I want you to go to Princeton like you've always wanted."

"I wanna be with you." "I'll be happy at Michigan, if I get in."

"Of course you'll get in." "You'll get into any school you apply to but I want you to go to Princeton."

"So, you haven't applied to Princeton for me then?"

She smiled. "We're not talking about me right now."

"Oh so you can do it but I can't huh?" He said smiling back.

"My situation is different."

"How?"

"I know I'm not getting into Princeton."

"You might." "Let's not worry about it right now." He kissed her. She kissed him back. They stood up and kissed again wanting and needing each other more with every one. She felt his hands slowly moving down her back. She could sense he was tentative as he went lower. One of the things she loved about him was how much he respected her. She broke the kiss for a second.

"It's alright." They kissed again. "I want you to." She took his hands and put them on her ass. He squeezed it. She moaned. They went and laid down on the bed. He was on top of her.

He broke the kiss and looked at her. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." He stood up and took off his shirt and jeans. She took her shirt and jeans off and put her jeans on the floor. He got a condom out of his nightstand drawer. They got under the blankets.

"Is this ok?"

"This is great." They kissed. They were both nervous but they knew this was going to be great. He started kissing her acrossed her neck. "Oh Clay." She moaned. "Oh Clara." He said. She took off her bra. His hand was slowly going up her leg He could feel the goosebumps on her skin. He kept going until his hand was on the waistband of her panties. He pulled them down and took off his boxers. "I love you so much." He said. "I love you too." She said. They kissed. She whimpered as he slipped inside her. He stopped and looked at her worried he was hurting her. "Keep going, I'll be alright." She said. He started to move slowly. It hurt Clara at first but she got more used to it as it went on. "Oh Clay." She moaned. "Oh Clara." He groaned. They kissed. "Are you ok?" He asked breathlessly. She nodded her head yes. "Clay." She moaned giving in. "Clara." He groaned giving in.

Afterwards they were laying on thier sides facing each other. They kissed.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too."

"I understand if you don't anymore after I tell you this." She took a deep breath. "When I was seven my mom decided to start working again." "Her brother, my uncle Steven, volunteered to watch me." "At first I had a lot of fun with him, then one day, he turned on this music box that played the song "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" He made me sit down next to him on the couch, put his hand down my pants and started molesting me." Tears ran down her cheeks. "I hated going over there but I was to afraid to tell anyone." "It went on for three years." "One day my mom got off work early and caught him doing it." He was sentenced to seven years in prison." "He was supposed to get out this year." "That's the real reason we moved here." "My nightmares are about him molesting me."

He hugged her. She cried. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry that happened to you." "It's ok."

She looked at him. "If you want to break up with me, I understand." She wiped her eyes.

"What?" "Clara no." "What happened to you was awful." "It wasn't your fault." "This doesn't change anything." "I still love you.'

"Really?"

"Yes." "I love you even more because I know you trust me."

"Please don't tell anyone." "You're the only person I've told."

"I won't." "I promise."

"I have to go." They got up and dressed. He walked her to the front door. They kissed. "Well we'll have to have sex again soon." She said smiling.

"Definitely." "I love you Clara."

"I love you too Clay." They kissed.

"Text me when you get home so I know you made it."

"I will."" Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She left.


	29. Chapter 29

Today Clara and Clay were getting their SAT scores back. Clara had already checked the mail and her scores were there. She and Clay agreed to open their scores together. She went over to his house. She knocked on his front door. He answered it.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi." She went in. They kissed. "Ready to find out what we got?

"Yes." "You first."

She opened her envelope. "1380."

"That's awesome."

"Let's see what you got."

He opened his envelope. "1509."

"Really, wow." "That's great sweetheart." "Princeton is going to love that."

"I don't know if I'm going there yet."

"Yes you are." "I have to go home and show this to my parents." She kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The next day at school in Communications class, Mrs Bradley was showing a video of everyone from last year, to show how much they'd changed. It got to a part where it showed Clay and Hannah standing at her locker talking. Clara looked at Clay. She saw a look on his face she hadn't seen in months.

A little while later Clara and Clay met by the picnic tables for lunch. He sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?"

"I know you saw my face when I saw me and Hannah on that tape." "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

"Clay, it's alright you're allowed to miss her." "I'm not upset." "I promise." She kissed him.

That Friday night Clay was packing a bag. He went downstairs.

"I'm leaving." He said.

"Have fun." Lainie said.

"I will "

Clay's parents thought he was going camping for the weekend but he was really spending the weekend with Clara. Her parents were in Atlantic City for the weekend. When Clay got there he text Clara and she opened the garage. They were in the kitchen. Clara was standing at the stove making popcorn for the movie she and Clay were going to watch.

"I've never seen anyone make popcorn like that before."

"Really?" "This is the best." "Way better then that microwave crap."

"Well you look real pretty cooking it."

"Thank you."

Later that night Clara popped up in bed. She was breathing heavily. A shirtless Clay sat up next to her.

"It's ok." He said. He put his arms around her and held her. "Breathe."

"I hate my uncle."

"I know." He could feel her shaking.

"He's the reason I'm like this." "I don't deserve someone like you Clay." "You deserve a normal girlfriend." "Not someone who's so fucked up."

"We're all fucked up to a point."

"Not like me."

"What happened to you, has nothing to do with the person I love now."

"You shouldn't have to put up with this."

"This is just part of our lives." "I plan on sharing a bed with you for a lot of years, especially after we graduate college." "I'll wake up with you a million times if I have to." "I love you."

She looked at him. "I love you too." They kissed.


	30. Chapter 30

Someone had called off from the pizza shop, so they called Clay in to take the shift. It wasn't his normal job but he knew how to do everything. He was helping Nick clean up at the end of night.

"So Clara tells me you want to go to Princeton." Nick said.

"Yeah I should be getting my acceptance or rejection letter anytime now." "I might not go to Princeton, even if I get accepted."

"Why not?"

"If I get accepted to The University Of Michigan, I'm probably going there."

"It's because that's where Clara wants to go isn't it?"

"Yes." "I've always wanted to go to Princeton but I love her." "I can't live without her."

"You know who you remind me of Clay?"

"Who?"

"Me." "When I was your age I had a full football scholarship to Duke University." "I mean the works." "They even offered me a car." "Christy wanted to go to Berkeley, I didn't want to leave her either, so I applied to Berkeley and I got in." "I gave up my scholarship for her." "I proposed the year after we graduated college, we were married soon after." "Two years later Clara was born." "Every day I know I made the right choice."

"So you were a jock?"

"Quarterback."

"Clara must get liking jocks from Christy then."

Nick laughed. "Probably."

"You must be disappointed she's dating me then."

"No I'm not." "Why would you think that?"

"Well you probably had something in common with them."

"I did but they treated Clara terribly." "You treat her great." "Christy and I can tell you love her just from the way you look at her." "We knew you two would get together before you did." "I also never offered any of Clara's boyfriend's a job at my pizza place." "We couldn't be happier that Clara's with you." "I'd even be proud to call you my son-in-law, someday."

"Um, son-in-law?" He said nervously.

"Good judging from your reaction you're not ready for that yet."

"If Clara and I were to get married someday, it wouldn't be until years in the future."

"That's good."

"You guys really raised a great girl."

"Yeah she's great just like her mom."

"Strong to." "I mean not a lot of people could overcome what her uncle Steven put her through."

"She told you about that?"

"Yeah."

"She must really love you then." "She's never told anyone about that."

"I know." "I wanted to kill him when I found out, even though I don't know him."

"I did to." "I would have if Christy hadn't stopped me."

"Clara thinks that because of her problems that stem from it, I deserve someone better." "I told her it's something I'll help her through for the rest of our lives if I have to."

"I'm glad she has you it's really helped her."

"Well I'm outta here."

"Have a good night."

"You to."

Two days later Clara came home.

"You got some mail Clara." Christy said. "It's in here on the kitchen table."

Clara went into the kitchen. "They're letters from Princeton and Michigan."

She texted Clay. It read.

I have college acceptance letters here. Can you come over? I want you here when I open them. - Clara

I'll be right over. - Clay

Fifteen minutes later Clay showed up.

"Ok I'm gonna open the Princeton one first." Clara said. She opened it. "I didn't get in."

"I'm sorry." Clay said.

"Me to." Christy said.

"It's alright." Clara said. "I knew it was a long shot anyway." "Ok, now for this one." She said picking up the Michigan letter. She took a deep breath and opened it. She smiled. "I got in!" She said excitedly. "Mom, I got in!" They hugged.

"Congratulations." "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks." She went over to Clay. They hugged and kissed.

"I'm so happy for you baby." Clay said. "Tonight we're going to dinner to celebrate."

"Shouldn't you be getting your letters soon Clay?" Christy asked.

"Well... He put down his backpack he had with him and unzipped a pocket. "I had one waiting for me when I got home." "It's from the University Of Michigan."

"Clay." Clara said annoyed. "I told you not to submit that application."

"I know but I had to."

"No you didn't."

"Let me just open it, ok?"

"Ok."

He opened it. "Boy are you gonna be mad at me." "I got in."

"Of course you did."

"Congratulations." Christy said. She hugged him.

"Thanks." Clay said.

"I'll be upstairs." She went upstairs.

Clay turned to Clara. She went up to him put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Congratulations but you are not going there." She said. "You're going to Princeton."

"We don't even know if I got in to Princeton yet."

"Come on, we both know you did."

"I'll text you about dinner tonight." "I have go home and tell my parents."

"Ok." They kissed. "I love you."

"I love you too." He left.


	31. Chapter 31

Two days had passed. Clara and Tony were getting manicures.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked.

"What makes you think there's something wrong?"

"You haven't said a word in fifteen minutes."

"I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"A future, without Clay."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sure his Princeton letter is going to come any day now." "When he gets accepted I'm telling him to go."

"You don't want him to though right?"

"Of course I don't but I can't tell him that." "I don't want to be the one or reason holding him back from something he's wanted before we even met." "I know they'll be some fighting ahead."

"Why?"

"Did he tell you he got into Michigan?"

"Yeah."

"He applied there for me." "I know he wouldn't be truly happy there." "Which is why I can't let him do it." "It just sucks." She said sadly. "I don't want him to go but I wouldn't feel right telling him to say." "He's gonna fight me kicking and screaming but he's going."

"What if he says he wants to go to Michigan?"

"That's the point, he doesn't he wants to go for me not himself."

The next day Clara had been home from school for about a half hour. She was upstairs about to get started on her homework when the doorbell rang. She went downstairs.

"Coming." She said. She opened the door. She was surprised to see Clay standing there. "Hi sweetheart, what are you doing here?"

He went in. "When I got home today, my Princeton letter was waiting for me."

"Did you get in?"

"I don't know." "I haven't opened it yet." "I wanted to open it with you but as soon as I do I have to leave because my parents are waiting to know."

"Well open it."

"Ok." "I'm nervous."

"It's ok."

He opened and looked at her. "I got in." He said smiling.

"That's so great." She said happily. They hugged and kissed. "I'm so happy for you."

"I have to go tell my parents."

"This time I'm taking you to dinner tonight."

"Ok." He kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"See you later."

"Bye." He left. Clara sat down on the couch and started to cry.


	32. Chapter 32

Clara and Clay had both been avoiding the topic of college. Clara had already confirmed she was going to Michigan. Clay hadn't confirmed where he was going yet. They were going on a date tonight. Clara was in the library waiting for Clay.

"Hi." He said. He sat down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hi." "How's your day going?"

"Good." "Yours?"

"Good, except for this stressful English I'm about to do."

"Just a few more weeks."

"I know."

"Besides if it hadn't been for me tutoring you in English, I don't think we would've gotten so close." "I just would've been the dork that sat next to you in Communications class."

"I never thought you were a dork."

"Maybe not but I know we wouldn't have fallen in love."

"If I hadn't kissed you that day, would you have told me you like me?"

"Probably not."

"See then, you're wrong."

"You wouldn't have liked me if we hadn't started talking here." "So, you're wrong."

"Either way, you're stuck with me." She said smiling.

"Good."

That night they went to "Rosey's Diner" after dinner they were at their spot making out. She broke the kiss. He could tell from the look on her face she had something on her mind.

"What?" He asked.

"Have you confirmed you're going to Princeton yet?"

"No." "I don't want to go there." "I want to go to Michigan, with you."

"No." "Go to Princeton." "I know that's what you want."

"I want you."

"I can't let you turn down Princeton because of me."

"It's alright."

"No it's not." "I won't let you throw it away." "I don't want to to go to Michigan."

"Fine." "Look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to go to Princeton."

She looked at him. "I want you to go to- Her eyes filled with tears.

"I knew it."

"No." "I want you to go."

"Why do you want us to be apart?" "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart but you need to do this." "We can still be together."

"I want to go to Michigan."

"If you don't go to Princeton, I'm breaking up with you."

"What?"

"If you don't go you'll regret it." "We can spend every vacation together." "I'll tell you what, go to Princeton for a year." "If you don't like it transfer to Michigan with me." "Deal?"

"Deal." "Come here." He hugged her. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	33. Chapter 33

Clara and Clay had spent every possible moment of that summer together. Clay was leaving for Princeton tomorrow. Clara was leaving for Michigan in two days. Clay was having a family dinner with his parents. They'd invited Clara. Clay had went and picked her up. They'd just gotten back to the house.

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes." Lainie said.

They went into the kitchen.

"Hi Clara." Matt said.

"Hi."

"Ready for dinner?"

"Yes I'm starving."

They were all sitting down to dinner.

"We just want you both to know we're so happy and proud of both of you." Lainie said.

"Yes we are." Matt said. "We still can't believe you're going to be college students."

"It's a little weird for us to." Clara said. "It seems like the summer just flew by."

"Yeah it seems like summer just started yesterday." Clay said.

"Well you two are going to do great in college." Lainie said.

After dinner Clara and Clay were at their spot. The windows were all steamed. They were laying down in the backseat. Her head was resting on his chest.

"I'm gonna miss this." Clay said.

She looked up at him. "What?" "Having sex?" She said smiling.

"Yes, but that's not what I mean." "I mean holding you like this, being with you like this."

"I know, me to."

"It's gonna be the longest three months of my life until Thanksgiving break."

"I know but you're going to have fun."

"I'll just be thinking about you the whole time."

"We'll have the phone and Skype and texting."

"Yeah but I can't kiss you or feel you next to me in any of those situations."

"It's not gonna be easy for me either." "We'll make it work."

The next morning Matt was getting ready to drive Clay to the airport. Clara was there. Everyone was outside. Matt was in the car.

"I didn't think this day would come so fast." Lainie said.

"Mom, do not start to cry." Clay said.

"I love you." She hugged him.

"I love you too mom."

"I'll leave you two alone." She went in the house.

Clay turned to Clara.

"Well, this is it." He said.

"Yeah."

"Come here." He put his arms around her waist

"You're gonna do great at Princeton." "Text me when you get to your dorm."

"I will." "I love you Clara."

"I love you too sweetheart." "See you in three months."

"Ok." "Bye."

"Bye." He got in the car and they drove off. Clara started to cry.


	34. Chapter 34

Clay had just arrived at Holder Hall the building his dorm room was in. He got his bags out of the cab that took him there and went inside. He went up to the front desk.

"Name?" The guy behind the desk asked.

"Clay Jensen."

He typed a few things into the computer. "You're in room 416.

When Clay went to his room someone else was already in there. At first glance he looked like a typical nerd. He had big black rim coke bottle glasses.

"What's up?" He said. "I'm Frank."

"I'm Clay."

"I guess we're roommates."

"Looks like it."

Clay put his stuff on his side of the room and unpacked.

Clay went to his first class. After that he went back to the room. He and Frank were talking.

"How long have you wanted to go to Princeton?" Frank asked.

"I decided when I was in 7th grade." "Now I'm not so sure."

"Let me guess." "A girl?"

"Not just a girl." "Thee girl." "The one."

"What's her name?"

"Clara."

"She as pretty as her name?"

"She's gorgeous."

"What college does she go to?"

"University Of Michigan."

"Why didn't you go there with her?"

"I tried." "I applied, I got in." "She wouldn't let me go with her." "She said she would break up with me if I didn't come here." "We have a deal though." "I'm gonna try this for a year, if I don't like it I'm transferring to Michigan next year."

Frank left to go to class and Clay got out his laptop to Skype with Clara. She answered almost immediately.

"There you are." Clay said smiling.

"Hi sweetheart." She said smiling back.

"Hi."

"How do you like it so far?"

"So far it's good." "I already went to my first class."

"How was that?"

"Fine." "We didn't really do anything. "Just went over what the course work is going to be like.'

"Cool." "Do you have a roommate?"

"Yeah." "His name's Frank." "I think we're gonna get along."

"Good."

"Is it Thanksgiving yet?"

"No."

"I miss you so much."

"I miss you to." They talked for the next hour and a half.


	35. Chapter 35

It was the day Clara was leaving for the University Of Michigan. Christy and Nick drove her to the airport. They all got out of the car. Nick got her bags out of the trunk. Clara looked at Christy who had tears in her eyes.

"Mom, it's ok." Clara said. They hugged.

"I promised myself I wouldn't do this." Christy said.

"I knew you would." Nick said.

"I'll be back in three months." Clara said.

Once Clara got to Michigan she took a cab to Alice Lloyd, the building her dorm was in. She got her bags out of the cab and went inside. She went up to the woman behind the desk.

"Name?" The woman asked.

"Clara Randall."

The woman typed in a few things. "You're in room 207."

Clara went to her room. Right away she noticed it was a single room. She unpacked and got out her phone to Skype with Clay. He answered after two rings.

"Hi Clara." He said.

"Hi sweetheart." "I just got to my room." "It's a single."

"Cool."

"I have to leave for my first class in a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you I made it." "How's your day going?"

"Good."

"I have to go but I love you."

"I love you too." "I have class in an hour." "I'll call you after."

"Ok." "Bye."

"Bye."

Clara was looking for her first class. She was lost.

"You look lost." A guy said. He was very tall and muscular with a tan, dark blue eyes and short brown hair.

"I am."

"Freshman?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah." "Don't worry I went through it last year." "It gets easier." "What are you looking for?"

"Science Lab B."

"Down the hall, fourth door on the left."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Clara found the science lab and took the only empty seat left next to a girl. The professor wasn't in the room yet.

"Hi." The girl said.

"Hi."

"I'm Mandy."

"Clara." The professor walked in.

Clara and Mandy were walking together after class.

"So are you thinking about rushing?" Mandy asked.

"You mean like a sorority?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know." "I'm not into the whole party scene."

"Not all sororities are like that." "Both of my sisters were in Delta Gamma." Sororities do a lot of charity work." "It's a good way to make friends."

"I'll think about it." "I have to go this way." She said pointing.

"Ok." "Wanna hang sometime?"

"Sure." They went their separate ways.


	36. Chapter 36

Clay was in his History class. The professor paired the students up in twos as study partners. Clay got a girl as his partner. Clay knew her but never really talked to her. She had light brown eyes, wavy jet black hair and glasses.

"I don't think we've really met before." Clay said. "I'm Clay."

"Tricia."

"Nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you to."

Later that afternoon Clay went to eat. He sat down at a table in the cafeteria.

"Is this seat taken?" Tricia asked coming up to the table.

"No." She sat down.

"Do you like it here so far?"

"Yeah but I miss somebody."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah."

"What school does she go to?"

"The University Of Michigan."

"It must be tough."

"It is." "Does your boyfriend go here?"

"I don't have one right now." "He dumped me on prom night."

"Ouch."

"Yeah." "I think he was just dating me because I helped him with his homework." "How did you meet your girlfriend?"

"She was a new student in my school last year." "We had a class together." "I was her student tutor for English." "Eventually we fell in love."

"That's so romantic." "I was a student tutor to." "I guess you could say I'm a geek."

"No."

Clara was outside sitting under a tree studying. She'd decided to rush. She was going to a few mixers later tonight to check out a few sororities she was interested in. Someone sat down next to her and opened a book. She looked at the cover of the book.

"Advanced Chem, yikes."

The person put the book down. It was the guy who showed her where the Science Lab was. "It's hard but it's a requirement for a pre-med."

"A pre-med?" She said surprised.

"You sound surprised."

"I would've guessed jock."

"How did you know?"

"Just a hunch." "So you are a jock?"

"Wide receiver."

"I never thought I'd meet a pre-med jock."

"Well I like football but not as much as I want to be a doctor." "I'm here on a full athletic scholarship." "Without it I wouldn't be able to afford college." "What's your name?"

"Clara."" What's yours?"

"Ben."

"It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you to."

Later that night Clara was at her second mixer. It was for the sorority Alpha Gamma Phi. Also at the party was the fraternity Omega Kappa Gamma. Clara was socializing and making friends. Someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around. It was Ben.

"Hi Ben." She said.

"Hi." "So, thinking about joining Alpha Gamma Phi?"

"Yeah." "You're part of Omega Kappa Gamma?"

"Yep." "Do you like it here?"

"Yeah, I miss my boyfriend though."

"Where does he go?"

"Princeton."

"Princeton?" "He must be really smart."

"He is."

"Well I guess that gives me my answer without asking the question."

"What do you mean?"

"I was gonna ask you out."

"Oh, I'm flattered."

"We can still be friends right?"

"Sure."


	37. Chapter 37

Clara had gotten into Alpha Gamma Phi. She was moving into the house today. She was taking some boxes into her new bedroom when her Skype ring went off. She put the boxes on her bed and answered it.

"Hi sweetheart. She said.

"Hi baby." Clay said. "All moved in yet?"

"Not yet but I'm getting there." "How's your day going?"

"Fine." "I'm about to go to the library to study."

"Why am I not surprised?" She said smiling.

"Is it Thanksgiving yet?"

"Not yet."

"Damn it." He said jokingly.

"I know." "I have to finish getting my stuff."

"Ok." "I love you."

"I love you too, bye."

"Bye."

Clay had been studying for an hour.

"Hey." Someone whispered. He looked up. It was Tricia.

"Hey Tricia." He whispered back.

"Can I sit down?"

"Yeah."

An hour later they left the library together.

"Do you have plans tonight?" Tricia asked.

"No."

"I have an assignment for astronomy class." "A constellation is supposed to form that only forms every ten years." "I have my own telescope if you want to check it out."

"Ok."

"Meet me on the Northside corner of the campus at ten o'clock tonight."

"Alright."

Later that night Clay met Tricia where she said to. She had the telescope set up and was writing things down when he came up to her.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi."

"You can look."

He looked. "Cool." "That's Pegasus right?"

"Yeah." "How's Clara?"

"She's good."

"Good."

The next day Alpha Gamma Phi and Omega Kappa Gamma were having a carwash for charity. The girls were in bikinis and the guys were shirtless and in shorts. Ben was washing a car about twenty feet away from Clara. She looked up and started checking him out. She quickly looked away. A half hour later Ben was washing a car. He looked over and Clara was bending over washing a hood of a car

By the time they finished it was night time. Ben and his brothers had just gotten back to the frat house.

"Ben do you want play some PlayStation?" Will, one of the brothers asked.

"No I'm tired I'm gonna go up and go to bed."

"Who are you kidding?" His fraternity brother Robert said. "You're gonna go upstairs and jackoff."

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" "Clara, oh Clara." He said in a mocking moaning tone. He laughed.

"Fuck off." He said smiling. He started going upstairs.

"Have fun."

Clara was sitting around with her sorority sisters eating popcorn and talking.

"So Clara, what's up with you and Ben?" Her sorority sister Amber asked.

"I don't know what you mean." Clara said..

"I saw you gawking at him today."

"I was not."

"You were so." "You were looking at him like a piece of meat."

"Even if I did find him attractive, it wouldn't be enough to jeopardize my relationship with Clay."

"Clara hypothetically, if you weren't with Clay, would you have sex with Ben?" Her sorority sister Katie asked.

"Well I am with Clay, so we'll never know."


	38. Chapter 38

Thanksgiving was in a month. Clara and Clay couldn't wait. Clara was sitting around with her sorority sisters playing truth or dare.

"Ok Clara, your turn, truth or dare?" Her sorority sister Natalie said.

"Truth." Clara said.

"Are you a virgin?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Was Clay your first?"

"Yeah." "My first and only."

"So are you guys like gonna get married?" Amber asked.

"I don't know." "I mean we're to young to be thinking about that now." "After college, maybe we'll start taking about it." "I wish you guys could meet him." "He's so sweet." "Before every time we have sex, he looks at me and says." "Is this ok?"

"Aw." They all said.

"I know."

"Most guys I've been with are grabbing at my jeans as soon as we get on the bed." Amber said.

"That's what so special about Clay." "He's like no one I've ever met."

The next afternoon Clay was in his room. There was a knock at the door. Frank answered it. It was Tricia.

"Hi Frank." She said. "Is Clay here?"

"Yeah." He walked away from the door. "Clay it's for you."

Clay came to the door

"Hi Tricia." He said.

"Hi." "One of my classes was cancelled." "Wanna go get a coffee?"

"Sure."

Tricia and Clay were at a coffee shop.

"This is good but there's a coffee shop back home that's way better." "It's called "Monet's" they have a drink there that I love called a Triple Americano."

"How's Clara?"

"She's good." "She got a job waiting tables at a local diner."

"How long has she been working there?"

"A couple weeks, she likes it."

"Good." "How do you think you did on that math test?"

"I did good I think."

"I'm gonna go to the student union and request a tutor." "I want to get my grade up a little higher."

"I can do it." "I'm free on Thursday afternoons from three to four."

"That works for me."

"Ok."

"Wanna meet me in my room on Thursday?"

"Ok."

Later that night Clay was back in his room. Frank had just gotten back to the room.

"Hey." Frank said.

"Hey."

"How was coffee with Tricia?"

"Fine."

"I can't believe it." "I can't get one girlfriend and you have two."

"Tricia's not my girlfriend."

"Do you like her?"

"As a friend."

"She likes you."

"No she doesn't."

"Yes she does." "It's so obvious."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

The next night Clara was at the diner she worked at. Ben came in with a few of his frat buddies. They sat in Clara's section. She brought them menus and took their drink orders.

"Well we know what Ben wants." His frat brother Mike said. "Clara on table with her legs spread wide and her panties off." Everyone but Ben laughed.

"You're hilarious." Ben said annoyed. "Shut the fuck up."

When they left Ben left her a twenty dollar tip.

Clara went home and showered. She decided to call Clay on Skype before going to bed. It started to ring. Clay answered.

"Hi sweetheart." She said.

"Hi baby." "How was work?" He said.

"Good." "I just wanted to talk to you before I went to bed "

"Do you think on thanksThanks night you can lie to your parents and stay gone all night?"

"Yeah." "I can tell them I'm staying at Tony's." "Why?"

"I wanna get us a room for the night."

"You do?" She said smiling.

"Yeah."

"Sounds good."

"I miss the closeness of being with you."

"I miss it to." "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Ok." "I love you."

"I love you too." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Two nights later Clara was working at the diner. She was the only one there she was working till closing. She had about a half hour left.

Ben came in and sat down at the counter..

"Hi Ben." She said.

"Hi."

"Let me guess." "Double cheeseburger, mayonnaise, lettuce, ketchup, large fry and a Coke."

"Exactly."

"I'll be right back."

Ben was eating. Clara was cleaning up.

"How's Caleb?" Ben asked.

"Do you mean Clay?"

"Yeah."

"He's fine."

"How did you two meet anyway?"

"He was my English tutor my senior year." "We were just friends at first but we fell in love."

"Are smart guys the type you always go for?"

"No." "Actually I normally date jocks."

"Jocks like me?" He said smiling.

"Yeah but I learned my lesson, no more jocks."

"Why?"

"They all treated me like shit."

"I wouldn't, if you were single that is." "Those other guys just didn't know how great you are." She smiled. "You have a gorgeous smile."

"Thanks." He paid and stood up.

He walked over to her. "I'm glad we met." He slowly drifted closer to her lips. Someone else came in and he backed away from her. "See ya."

"Bye "


	39. Chapter 39

Thanksgiving was next week. Every day that passed seemed to drag for Clara and Clay. She was out walking around. Her Skype ring went off. She answered it.

"Hi sweetheart." She said.

"Hi." "What's up?"

"I'm just out running errands."

"Guess what."

"What?"

"I booked our room today."

"I can't wait."

"Me either."

"I have to go but I love you."

"I love you too." "Bye."

"Bye." They hung up.

Clara went into a "Victoria Secret" store.

Clara was leaving to go home in two days. She was working the afternoon shift at the diner. It was a slow day. Ben came in and sat up to the counter.

"Hi Ben, the usual? Clara asked.

"Yeah." Clara put his order in and brought him his drink. "Thanks."

"That's my job." "Are you going home for Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you from again?"

"Kansas City, Kansas."

"Looking forward to seeing your parents?"

"Yeah them and my five sisters."

"You have five sisters?"

"Yep."

"Are you the oldest?"

"Second youngest." "My parents had my first sister really young." "They were both sixteen." "I'm really close with my youngest sister Gabby." "She's a senior in high school."

"Have a good vacation."

"You to." She walked away.

Clara took a cab home. It was the day before Thanksgiving. Clay was coming home in a few hours. She got her bags out of the trunk of the car and went into the house.

"I'm home." She said. She put her bags down. Christy and Nick came into the living room. They both hugged her. "I missed you guys."

"We missed you to." Christy said.

"We have a surprise for you." Nick said. "Close your eyes." She did. She heard footsteps. About fifteen seconds went by. "Ok open."

When she opened her eyes Clay was standing in front of her smiling. "Clay." She said excitedly.

"Hi baby." He said. They hugged and kissed.

"I thought you weren't coming home for a few hours."

"I took an earlier flight."

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you to."

Clara and Clay went and met Tony at "Monet's" Tony didn't go to college. He was a mechanic in town.

"It's great to see you guys again." Tony said. "It hasn't been the same without you."

"We missed you." Clara said. "We need you to cover for us tonight."

"For what?"

"We're getting a room tonight." Clay said. "If either of our parents ask we're staying at your place tonight."

"You guys both know you're eighteen right?"

"Yes but I don't think our parents would like knowing we're going somewhere to spend the night together." Clara said.

"I'll cover for you guys."

"Thank you."

Later that night Clara and Clay went to a "Hampton Inn" he'd gotten them a suite.

"This room is so beautiful." Clara said. "It must've costed you a lot."

"I wanted tonight to be special." He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "This beats Skype huh?"

"Yeah." They kissed. It became passionate very quickly. She broke the kiss. "I'll be right back."

"Ok."

Clay took a condom out of his jeans pocket and stripped down to his boxers. He got under the blankets. She came out a few minutes later wearing a red silk nightgown.

"I bought this for tonight." She said. "Do you like it?"

"You look so sexy."

"Ready for me?" She said grinning.

"I've been ready for three months."

"Me to." She got in the bed. They kissed. Goosebumps formed on her skin as his hand slowly went up her leg. She moaned. He broke the kiss. "Is this ok?" He asked. "Yes." They kissed. She rolled him on his back and got on top of him. He took off his boxers. She took off her nightgown, slid into him and started to move slowly. "Clara." He groaned. "Oh Clay." She moaned. He squeezed her ass. "Ohhhh." She moaned. She bent down and kissed him. He rolled her over on her back and slipped inside her. They kissed. He moved slowly. "Clay." She moaned. "I love you so much." He said. "I love you too." He went faster. "Oh Clara." He groaned. "Ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh, Clay." She moaned giving in. "Clara." He groaned giving in.

She was laying on him. They were talking.

"I know what I'm gonna major in." He said.

"What?"

"I'm gonna get a teaching degree."

"A teacher is a great profession for you." "At least you know what you wanna do." "I'm still completely clueless."

"You'll figure it out Clara."

"You'll make a great teacher."

"I think I have a knack for teaching people things."

"You do."

"I have fun doing it."

"How's it going tutoring that girl?"

"Good."

"Tricia right?"

"Yeah." "So, are you going to let me transfer to Michigan yet?"

"That was only if you didn't like it but you do." "What we're doing is working." "We'll have all the time in the world to be together once we graduate." "We can live together, or whatever."

"Would you like to, one day, I mean a long time from now, um... He said nervously.

"Clay, are you trying to ask me if I want to get married someday?"

"Yeah."

"Someday, yes."

"Are you tired?"

"No."

"Wanna have sex?"

"Again?" She said smiling.

"Yeah."

"As long as you have another condom."

"I brought four more."

"Come here." They kissed.

The next morning Clara was wiping the steam off of the bathroom mirror after taking a shower. She was in a towel. Clay appeared behind her a few seconds later. He was also in a towel. She looked at him. They kissed.

"We've gotta go sweetheart." She said.

They went back to Clara's parents for dinner.

"Clay, just so you know, you'll still have your job this summer." Nick said

"Thanks." Clay said.

"Tell them what you decided." Clara said.

"I've decided to become a teacher."

"That's great." Christy said.

"I think that suits you." Nick said.

Meanwhile in Kansas City Ben was at home in his room. Gabby came in.

"Alright, what's going on Ben?" She asked.

"What?"

"I can tell you have something on your mind." "Come on, out with it."

"There's a girl at school."

"I knew it was a girl."

"I really like her she's beautiful and fun and smart." "I'm pretty sure she likes me to."

"What's her name?"

"Clara Randall." "I feel a chemistry between us."

"What's the problem?"

"She has a boyfriend."

"Yeah that's definitely a problem." "Well Ben, she's obviously unavailable."

"I know Gabs but she is amazing." "I've felt an instant connection from the day I've met her." "I'm crazy about her."

"Don't torture yourself." "Just forget about her."

"I don't think I can."

Clara and Clay went to his parents after her parents. Clara had been there for a few hours. She and Clay were sitting on the couch watching TV. His parents were getting ready to go to a friend's house for dessert.

"We'll be back in a few hours." Matt said.

"Ok." Clay said. They left. Clara and Clay headed upstairs. When they got to the top he turned her around, kissed her and picked her up off the ground. They kissed the whole way to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed. She took off his shirt. He looked at her. "I love you Clara."

"I love you too Clay." They kissed.


	40. Chapter 40

Clara and Clay were back at school. It was a busy time for both of them. They both had finals coming up. They'd both been a little tense lately because they hadn't been talking as much as they used to. Clara had just gotten home from work. When she turned her phone on she noticed she missed a Skype call from Clay. She called him back. He popped up on the screen.

"Hi sweetheart." She said.

"Hi." "I thought you said eight." He said.

"No, I said eight last night." "I wish I had more time to talk but I have to study "

"Of course you do?" He said annoyed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't have time to talk to me yesterday either."

"I have to study."

"Fine, go study." He said angrily.

"Your acting like you don't have to study to."

"I do but I was willing to put it off for awhile to talk to you."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"That's what you said yesterday." "Bye." He hung up.

Clay went to Tricia's room. Since they had a lot of the same classes they were studying for finals together. They stopped for a dinner break and had a pizza delivered to her room

"Clay are you ok?" Tricia asked.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" "You don't seem fine."

"Clara and I are fighting."

"Why?"

"We haven't been talking a lot lately." "I know it's finals time but talking is all we have." "If we don't talk we don't have a relationship."

"I'm sure everything will be ok."

Clara was at the library studying. She'd been there for about twenty minutes Ben came up to the table.

"Can I sit down?" He whispered.

They both left at the same time. It was dark by the time they left.

"Can I walk you back to the house?" He asked.

"Sure."

They were walking and talking. "You seem a little stressed."

"It's just finals and um...

"What?"

"Clay and I are fighting."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Things have been tense between us lately, with me studying and working we've hardly talk." "I know it's the only chance we get to talk but what am I supposed to do?"

"I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time."

"Yeah it sucks." They stopped outside of the house.

"Are you gonna smile for me before I go?" She smiled. "That's better." Before she could react he kissed her. She pulled away quickly.

"I can't do that."

"I'm sorry, I just, I like you."

"I know that." "If I were single maybe things would be different, but I'm not." "I love Clay." "I'm sorry." "Please don't do that anymore."

"I won't." "I'm sorry." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He walked away. She went into the house.


	41. Chapter 41

Clara knew she would have to tell Clay about the kiss. She decided to wait until finals were over. It had been a week. She'd just taken her last final. She and Clay were still bickering a little bit. When she was done with her final she wanted to Skype with Clay as soon as she was done but she had to work. She was walking to work.

"Clara wait." Ben said catching up to her.

"Hi."

"Hi." "Where are going?"

"Work."

"I just wanted to apologize again." "I was out of line."

"This is your third apology."

"I know but I feel really bad."

She stopped walking and turned to him. "Look everything's fine." "We can still be friends as long as you understand that you can't do that anymore and I love Clay."

"I understand and I'm glad we're still friends."

"I've gotta go." She took off walking.

After work she went home and showered. After that she called Clay on Skype. He answered.

"Hey baby." He said. "I was hoping you'd call." "I took my last final today."

"Me to."

"Listen, I'm sorry." "I know things between us have been on the tense side lately but with finals over, I think things will calm down." "I've been a jerk." "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart."

"I just really miss you."

"I miss you to."

"I can't wait till Christmas break."

"Me either." "Clay I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"Well I told you about my friend Ben."

"The jock."

"Yeah." "Last week, it was late so he walked me home from the library." "When we got back to the house he tried to kiss me." "I immediately backed off and told him I couldn't do that and that I was in love with you."

"Last week?" He said angrily. "This happened last week and you're just now telling me."

"I knew you were busy with finals." "I wanted to wait until you weren't so busy."

"Or you liked it and didn't want to tell me."

"No." "I barely felt it." "His lips were only on mind for a fraction of a second before I backed off."

"I know how you are with jocks." "They're your type not me."

"Clay no." "I have no feelings for Ben." "I love you."

"Yeah whatever." He hung up.

Tricia was in her room. There was a knock at the door. She answered it. It was Clay.

"Hi." "Did we have a tutoring session today?" She asked.

"No." "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." He went in.

"I have a question." "Do you like me?"

"Honestly, yes." "I just thought it would be inappropriate to tell you because of Clara."

"I think Clara has feelings for another guy." "She just told me he tried to kiss her." "She kept it from me for a week." "I was thinking since she is exploring her other feelings maybe I should explore mind." His cell phone started to ring. It was Clara's ringtone. He answered it. "What?" "I don't wanna talk to you right now." He hung up. A few seconds later Clay's phone rang again. It was Tony's ringtone. "I'm just gonna go." He said looking at Tricia. He left.


	42. Chapter 42

The next day Clay and Frank were in their room.

"Are you gonna to any classes today?" Frank asked.

"No, I'm taking the day off." "I'm to upset to do anything today."

"Alright." "Want me to get your assignments from the classes we have together?"

"Yeah." There was a knock at the door. "That's probably Tricia." "I forgot to cancel our tutoring session for today." "Will you get rid of her for me?"

"Yeah."

"Tell her I'm sick." Frank went to get the door. He came back a few seconds later with a surprised look on his face. "What?"

"It's not Tricia."

"Who is it?"

"Your girlfriend I think."

"Clara?" He said surprised. "It can't be."

"Well it sure does look like her."

Clay stood up and went to the front door. Clara was standing in the doorway.

"Oh my god." Clay said shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"Well you won't take my calls and I need to talk to you." Clara said.

"Come in." She went in.

"I have a class." Frank said. "See you guys later." He left.

Clara and Clay sat down on the couch.

"How did you get here?" He asked.

"I rented a car and I drove."

"Drove?" "It's a twelve hour drive."

"I drove all night without stopping."

"You drove all the way here just to talk to me?"

"You wouldn't answer me on Skype or my calls or texts." "So you felt me no choice."

"Alright, talk."

"I swear to you Clay there's nothing going on between me and Ben." "He likes me but the feeling is not mutual." "I only think of him as a friend." "I didn't want that kiss at all." "I'm only in love with one person." "You." "I only want you, I promise." "Ben means absolutely nothing to me." "I understand why you got so angry and why you thought what you thought but I would never cheat on you, ever." "I love you Clay." "I don't wanna break up over this."

Clay's expression softened. "We're not breaking up."

"We're not?"

"No." "I love you." "I'm sorry to." "I shouldn't have gotten so upset." "The thought of losing you to someone else made me crazy." "I'm not going to make you do anything but I would feel better if you didn't talk to that Ben guy anymore."

"Fine." "Done." "If that's what it takes to get you to trust me."

"I do trust you." "I don't trust him." They kissed.

"I'm really tried."

"I'll bet." "I'm tired to." "Let's go take a nap in my room for a few hours before you go back."

"Ok."

The next day Clara was back at Michigan. She went and found Ben. He was in the Chemistry Lab alone.

"Ben I have to talk to you." She said.

"Ok sure, what about."

"I'm sorry but we can't be friends anymore."

"Why not?"

"It makes Clay uncomfortable."

"So we can't be friends anymore because of what your boyfriend wants?" He said confused. "How is that fair?" "He sounds controlling to me."

"He's not controlling." "I'm doing this by my own choice to make him more comfortable." "Besides, can you tell me you can be friends with me and not feel anything else?"

"No."

"Then this is for the best anyway." "Bye." She left.


	43. Chapter 43

The Christmas and New Years holidays had passed. Recently Clara and Clay had been arguing. She was a lot busier now, she'd picked up more hours at the diner and she'd been a lot busier with classes and her sorority. Clara was hoping seeing Clay for spring break in a couple weeks would make things better. Clara's nineteenth birthday was tomorrow. She didn't really have any plans for it. She was just getting off work. She was walking back to the sorority house. While she walked she took out her phone and connected to Skype to talk to Clay. He answered.

"Hi sweetheart." She said.

"I don't have time to talk right now Clara." He said.

"What?" She said confused.

"I don't have time to talk right now."

"Clay-

"Not now." I'm busy." He hung up. Clara was furious.

Amber and Natalie were at the mall. Ben came up to them.

"Hi." He said to them. "What are you guys out doing?"

"Getting a birthday present for Clara." Amber said.

"Today's her birthday?"

"Tomorrow."

The next day it was around eleven o'clock in the morning. Clara actually had the day off for once. Her sorority sisters called her downstairs. She went downstairs. All of her sorority sisters were in the room.

"We bought you a present." Amber said handing her a bag. "Happy birthday." She opened the bag it was a shirt.

"I love it." "Thank you." Clara said.

"We also have a surprise for you." Natalie said

"You didn't have to get me a surprise."

"You'll like this one." "Hey Clay." She said smiling.

Clay came out of the kitchen.

"Happy birthday baby." He said smiling.

"Clay." She said surprised. They hugged and kissed.

"Are you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am."

"I was getting ready to leave yesterday." "That's why I couldn't talk to you."

"Did you drive here?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you're here." "Let me introduce you." "Clay this is everyone." "Everyone this is Clay."

"Hi."

"Hi." They all said.

Clara and Clay went to a hotel in town. They spent most of the day there. They were getting dressed.

"I'm sorry for all the fighting lately." Clay said.

"Me to."

"I know you're busy and I have to learn to accept that." "I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me either." He kissed her. "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too baby." "Do you know a nice restaurant around here?" "I wanna take you out to dinner."

"Yeah." "Can we stop by the diner first?" "I want to pick up my check."

"Yeah."

They went to the diner. Clay went in with her.

"I'll just be a minute." Clara said. She went to the back. Right after that Ben walked into the diner.

"Hey Ben." Someone said who was on their way out.

"Hey." Ben said. Clay looked at him. "Can I help you with something?"

"So you're Ben?" Clay said.

"Yeah." "Do I know you?"

"My name's Clay."

"Clay?" "Clara's boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"The control freak."

"I'm not a control freak."

"Yeah that's why Clara's not allowed to be friends with me anymore, right?"

"It was her choice to stop being friends with you."

"Right." He said not believing it.

Clara came out of the back.

"Ready?" She asked looking at Clay.

"Yeah." She could tell he was angry.

"Happy birthday Clara." Ben said smiling at her.

"Thanks Ben." Clara said. "Let's go."

Clay was quiet and distant all through dinner. They'd just gotten back to the hotel.

"What's wrong with you?" Clara asked.

"Nothing." He said irritated.

"Is it because we saw Ben?"

"He called me a control freak."

"You're not a control freak."

"Did you tell him you couldn't be friends with him anymore because of me?"

"What?" "No."

"Are you still friends with him?"

"No."

"How did he know it was your birthday then?"

"I don't know."

"Do you like him?"

"Clay stop it."

"Do you?"

"Jesus Clay, no." She said getting angry. "You know what, I'm leaving." "I'm not spending my birthday arguing with you." She went outside and called an Uber.


	44. Chapter 44

It had been five days since Clara and Clay's fight. They'd made up but she still felt tension and stress. Clara was extremely busy with everything. She'd just walked through the door after a shift at the diner. She went upstairs and took a shower. After she got out she called Clay on Skype.

"Hello?" He whispered.

"Hi sweetheart, why are you whispering?"

"I'm in the library."

"Oh."

"Call me back in an hour."

"Ok."

Clara ended up falling asleep. She woke up in the middle of the night feeling uneasy. She knew only one thing could calm her down and she hadn't done it in a long time. She got her straight razor out from under her mattress that she'd brought from home. When she went out into the hallway she made sure no one was up. Then she went into the bathroom, locked the door and cut her leg.

The next day she had worked and now she was helping her sorority with a blood drive. Her Skype ring started to go off. She answered it.

"Hi." Clay said.

"Hi." "Now isn't really a good time."

"Why?"

"I'm helping with the blood drive, remember?"

"You never told me about that."

"Yes I did." "I'll call you later."

"You didn't call me back last night."

"I was tired." "I fell asleep."

"Ok." She could tell he was frustrated. "I love you."

"I love you too." "Bye."

"Bye."

Later that night Clara's Skype rang. She answered it.

"Hi Clara." He said sad.

"Hi." "What's wrong?"

"Clara, we need to talk."

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't think this is gonna work anymore."

"What?"

"Us." "We fight." "We barely have time to talk." "I'm stressed." "I know you must be to." "It's not the same anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I wanna break up." He said looking like he was about to cry.

"You want to what?" She said shocked.

"I don't want this type of relationship."

"Clay… Tears went down her cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you too but can you honestly say you're happy Clara, I can't." "Not with things like this."

"No, I'm not."

"This is so hard for me to do." "I didn't wanna hurt you."

"Let's just end it then." She wiped her eyes.

"Ok, bye."

"Bye." They hung up. She started to cry.


	45. Chapter 45

It had been two weeks since Clara and Clay had broken up. Clay had been pretty bummed. Tricia was in her room. There was a knock at her door. She answered it and was surprised to see Clay standing there.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi."

"Feel up for some tutoring today?"

"Sure." "Come in." He went in. "Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Yeah."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm hanging in there."

"I know how you feel." "Break ups suck."

"Yes they do."

Clay stayed tutoring Tricia for two hours.

"If you ever need to talk Clay, I'm here for you."

"I know." "Thanks." She kissed him. "Tricia, I can't do this." "Not just yet."

"I understand it's ok."

"It's not that you're not beautiful, I'm just not ready."

"It's ok." "When you are ready, you know where to find me."

All Clara had been doing for the last two weeks was going to work and home. The rest of the time she was in her room in the dark. She was in her room laying on her bed. Amber and Natalie came into the room and turned on the light.

"Ok come on get up." Natalie said.

"I don't want to." Clara said sadly.

"You have to get out of this room and have some fun Clara." Amber said. "Omega Kappa Gamma is having a party tonight." "Let's go."

"No thanks."

"Come on." Natalie said. "A half hour."

"I'll let you borrow that light blue dress of mine that ties up the back." Amber said.

"Ok."

Clara was getting ready. Amber was tying up the back of the dress and Natalie had just finished Clara's make-up.

"You look great." Natalie said.

"Let me see." Amber said when she finished tying up the dress. She went around to the front of her. "Beautiful."

Clara was trying to have fun at the party but it wasn't working. She'd been there for fifteen minutes. She went upstairs to the bathroom. As she looked in the bathroom mirror she started to cry remembering the last time she and Clay were standing in front of a bathroom mirror together. She left the bathroom, found an empty room and went inside.

Clara was sitting on a bed in a room with the lights off. She'd been in there for about twenty minutes. Suddenly the door opened and the lights came on. Ben jumped when he saw Clara. He was carrying books.

"Clara, you scared me." Ben said. He put his books down on his desk.

"Sorry." She wiped her eyes. "Is this your room?"

"Yeah." "What's wrong?" He shut the door.

"Nothing I'm sorry, I'll go."

"No." He sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. "Did one of the guys here do something to you?"

"No." "Clay and I broke up two weeks ago."

"The long distance thing just got to be to much for him and he broke up with me."

"I'm sorry." He hugged her.

"I must look pathetic."

"You look beautiful." "You always look beautiful."

"You're biased."

"Maybe a little bit." "It's true though."

She looked at him. "You're always so sweet to me."

"I care a lot about you."

"I know." He kissed her and looked at her. She kissed him. He kissed her back. In the back of her mind she knew this wasn't a good idea but she wanted to feel something other then sadness. They got on the bed more. They were sitting in the middle of it making out. Ben had never wanted anyone more in his life. He'd stop if she asked him to but he was hoping she wouldn't. She felt his hands on the back of her dress. His hands were on the strings. He broke the kiss for a second. "Can I?" He asked. "Yes." She said. They kissed again. He started untying the dress. Once he did she got up on her knees to take off the dress. She took off his shirt and kissed him. He took out his wallet and got out a condom. He took off his jeans and boxers. Clara took off her bra. As they kissed again she feel his hand going up her leg. He started to slowly pull down her panties. He lifted up so he could. Immediately after his hand was going back up her leg. He moved it to her inner thigh. "I want you." He said. She gasped as she felt his hand inside her. He moved it slowly. "Ohhhh." She moaned loudly. She moaned against his lips as they kissed. He took his hand out and laid her down underneath him. "Clara." He moaned as he slipped inside her. He started to move slowly. "Ben." She moaned. They kissed. He went faster. "Oh Ben, oh my god." She could feel the muscles in his back as he moved. "Ohhhh, mmmm, oh Ben." She moaned giving in. "Oh Clara." He groaned giving in.

Afterwards they were laying there.

"Come here." He said. She snuggled up to him. "Why do you have scars on your leg?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"I want you to stay."

"Alright." He kissed her.


	46. Chapter 46

The next morning Clara woke up. When she sat up Ben was getting dressed. He was putting his shirt on. He turned around and saw she was awake.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." She got up started looking for her clothes and started getting dressed.

"Do you need help with the back of the dress?"

"If you don't mind."

"Turn around."

She turned around. He tied up the dress. She turned to face him. "Ben, about last night." "I'm really sorry."

"Sorry?" He said confused. "Why?"

"I know you have feelings for me." "I shouldn't have slept with you and made it worse."

"So you regret it?"

"No." "It was nice, I really enjoyed it." "I'm just not ready for a relationship quite yet."

"That's ok."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." "Honestly, I would love for you to be my girlfriend, but I understand you need time." "You can take all the time you need." "Can I give you a kiss?"

"Yeah." He kissed her. "You did make me feel better last night." "Thank you."

"You're welcome." "Would you like my number in case you ever want to talk?"

"Ok." They exchanged numbers.

Clara went back to the sorority house and upstairs to take a shower. She ran into Amber in the hallway.

"Well, well, well, where have you been all night?" Amber said grinning.

"I slept at the frat house."

"Alone?"

"I slept with Ben."

"Ben?"

"Yeah."

"Ben Williams?"

"Yeah."

"Was it good?

"Fantastic." "I need to shower." She went into the bathroom.

Clay was in Tricia's room for a tutoring session. They were just finishing up. Clay was gathering up his stuff.

"Clay, would you like to come here and hang out with me sometime?" "Maybe watch a movie." Tricia asked.

"I'm not ready to date yet."

"Not dating." "Just getting to know each other better."

"Ok."

Later that night Clara decided to call Tony.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hey Tony." She said.

"How are you?"

"I did something last night."

"What?"

"I slept with my friend Ben."

"You did what? He said surprised.

"I know." "It surprised me to." "I feel bad." "I mean Clay and I only broke up a couple weeks ago." "I just wanted to feel better."

"Did it help?"

"Yeah." "I feel bad about that to." "I'm almost positive Ben is in love with me."

"In love with you?"

"He looks at me like Clay used to."

"Do you like him?"

"He's great but I'm not ready for a relationship yet." "I don't know what to do."

"Just don't rush into anything."

"I won't." "Have you talked to Clay?"

"Yesterday."

"How is he?"

"He's alright."

"Good."


	47. Chapter 47

Clara and Ben had been dating for a month. Summer vacation started next week. They already arranged that Ben would come to clara for two weeks in July and she would come spend two weeks in August with him. It was around three o'clock in the afternoon. Clara was working at the diner till closing. Ben came in with a few of his friends. They sat in Clara's section. She went up to them.

"Hi guys." She said. "The usual for everyone?" They all said yes. "You got it." Ben smiled at her. "Yes honey I see you." She said smiling back. "Hi."

"Hi." He said.

"I'll be over after work."

"Alright."

Tricia was waiting for Clay to come over. There was a knock at her door. She answered it. It was Clay.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey." He went in. They kissed. They'd been dating for two weeks.

They were sitting on the couch watching a movie. He could sense there was something wrong and looked at her.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I'm just not looking forward to summer vacation." "I'm not exactly excited to go back to an alcoholic mother and verbally abusive stepfather."

"I know." "I wish you didn't have to either." "We'll just have to try and spend most of the time talking to each other."

"That's my plan." They kissed. She stood up and took him by the hand. "Come on." He stood up. They went into the bedroom and got on the bed. This was going to be their first time together. He kissed her and laid her down on the bed underneath him. He looked at her.

"Is this ok?"

"Yes." They kissed.

Later that night Clara closed the diner. After showering at home she gathered up pajamas and a change of clothes for morning and headed to the frat house. When she got there she headed up to Ben's room. The door was open. She went in

"Hi honey." She said.

"Hey babe." They kissed. "How was work?"

"Good." "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and change."

Clara was sitting on Ben's bed. He was behind her rubbing her shoulders.

"You feel really tense." He said.

"I've been stressed lately." "It's making my anxiety bad."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Clara, please tell me."

"I'm stressed about not seeing you when we go on summer vacation."

"You don't need to be." "You have nothing to worry about." "I'm not Clay."

"I know." "I'm sorry." She said looking back at him.

"I'm not going to leave you." They kissed. He got up and shut and locked the door.

"Come here." They kissed.

They made love looking into each other's eyes the whole time. When they finished he was still on top of her looking at her.

"I love you." He said. It surprised her. He could tell. "It's ok, you don't have to say it back." He kissed her.


	48. Chapter 48

Clara was into her second week of summer vacation. She hadn't really left the house since being back but she knew that would eventually have to change. Christy and Nick were looking forward to meeting Ben next month. Clara was in her room. She got a text from Tony. It read.

Want to meet at Monet's for coffee? - Tony

Sure. I'll be there in ten minutes. - Clara

Clara met Tony at "Monet's" they hugged when they saw each other. They got coffee and were talking.

"How's Ben?" Tony asked.

"Good." "Did you ever tell Clay I was dating him?"

"No."

"Good." "Not that it's a secret or anything, it's just Ben's coming here for two weeks in July and Clay doesn't like him." "I just want to have a nice visit with him when the time comes, so I don't think Clay should know about it"

"I won't tell him but it is a small town."

"I know."

"I have to go." He stood up

"Ok." "I'm gonna stay for awhile." "I want to introduce you to Ben when he comes."

"Alright." He left.

About five minutes passed. Clara got up to get another Cappuccino. As she turned around after getting her order Clay walked in. She went back to her table. A few minutes passed. Clay came up to Clara's table.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi."

"Can I sit down?"

"Yeah." He sat down. "How are you?"

"I'm doing good." "I have a girlfriend."

"That's great." "What's her name?"

"I'm dating Tricia."

"I'm happy for you."

"Thanks."" Are you seeing anybody?"

"Yes." "I have to go but it was good to see you."

"Good seeing you to." She picked up her Cappuccino and left.

Later that night she was helping Christy with the dishes

"I've missed this." Christy said "I can't wait to meet Ben."

"I can't wait for you and dad to meet him." "He's great."

"I've still never seen a picture of him."

"I've never showed you one?"

"No."

She got her cell phone. "Here." She said showing her a picture.

"Wow, he's cute."

"I know." "You should see him with no shirt on."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"Um...

"It's ok if you are."

"Yeah."

"Was he your first time?"

"No."

"I figured."

Clara went up to her room. Her Skype ring went off on her phone. She answered.

"Hi honey." She said

"Hi babe." Ben said. "How was your day?"

"Good." "I caught up with Tony." "I saw Clay."

"How did that go?"

"It was a little awkward but it went ok."

"I really miss you Clara."

"I miss you to honey."

"I can't wait till July."

"Me either."

"I'm gonna go to bed."

"Ok." I love you."

"I'll text you when I wake up." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."


	49. Chapter 49

It was three o'clock in the morning. Clay was awakened by the ringing of his cell phone.

"Hello?" He said tiredly. All he could hear was crying. "Tricia?" "Tricia, is that you."

"I can't take here Clay." Tricia said tearfully.

He sat up in bed. "Did you get into another fight with your mom?"

"Yeah."

"Has she been drinking again?"

"Yeah." "I'm so sick of this."

"I know." "Hey, just one more month and you'll be back with me."

"I wish I was with you right now." "I'd make things a lot easier." "I miss you."

"I miss you to."

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"I told you, I don't care whenever you need to talk, I'm here."

"Thank you."

The next evening Clara was at home. Ben was flying in tomorrow. She couldn't wait to see him. She and Clay had been friendly to each other whenever they'd see each other around town. She was glad they could still be friends. Nick walked in the front door. Clay walked in right behind him. Clara was a little surprised to see him.

"Hi Clay." Christy said.

"Hi." Clay said. "It's been awhile."

"How are you?"

"Good."

"I'll be right back." Nick said looking at Clay. He looked at Christy. "Do you have the tire jack?" "Clay's car has a flat tire." "I'm gonna fix it for him."

"It's in my car." Christy said.

They both went outside leaving Clara and Clay alone.

"Hi." Clay said.

"Hi." "How was your Fourth Of July?"

"Good."

"How's Tricia?"

"She's good." "How's your boyfriend?"

"He's fine."

"Good." Christy and Nick came back in.

The next day Ben had just arrived at the house. He was nervous. He'd met parents of his girlfriend's before but never one he cared so much about. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Christy answered it.

"Hello, Mrs. Randall?" He asked.

"Yes hello Ben." "Come on in." He went in. "Clara will be down in a minute."

Nick came into the living room. "You must be Ben." Nick said coming up to him. "I'm Clara's dad." They shook hands.

"It's nice to meet you sir." Ben said.

Clara came down the stairs.

"There she is." Ben said smiling.

"Hi honey." She said smiling back. They kissed.

"I missed you."

"I missed you to."

After they had a nice lunch with her parents, Clara took Ben to "Monet's" they sat down at a table. There was a line of about ten people.

"I'll be back." She said.

Five minutes passed. Clara was sixth in line. Clay walked in. Almost immediately Clay and Ben's eyes locked. Clay went up to the table Ben was sitting at.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He said angrily.

"Visiting my girlfriend." He said very calmly. "What's it to you?"

"You're girlfriend?" "You better not mean who I think you mean."

"What if I do?" "What are you gonna do about it?" "Clara is with me now."

When Clara turned around with the drinks she saw Clay standing it the table.

" _Shit."_ She thought.

She quickly went up to the table.

"Hi Clay." She said.

He looked at her with a mixture of anger and hurt. "I need to talk to you, now." He said.

She looked at Ben. "I'll just be a minute."

They went outside.

"Him?" Seriously?" "Him?" Clay said in disbelief. "You said you didn't like him."

"At the time I didn't."

"How the hell am I supposed to believe that?"

"Fine, you want the truth?" "Yes, I was kind of attracted to Ben when we were going out but not enough to do anything about it." "Ben is a nice guy and he loves me."

"Why did it have to be him?

"I didn't plan it." "It just happened."

"How could you do this?"

"Excuse me?" She said getting irritated. "How could I do this?" "You left me Clay." "Remember? "You left me." "I loved you, and you left me." "What did you want me to do?" "Be single for the rest of my life?" "What do you care anyway?" "You have Tricia."

"Yeah I do."

"Maybe it was a bad idea to think we could be friends."

"Yeah it was." He walked to his car and left.


	50. Chapter 50

Two nights later Clara and Ben were having dinner with her parents.

"So Ben, Clara tells me you're a football player." Nick said.

"Yeah I am."

"What position do you play?"

"Wide receiver." "Clara told me you were a quarterback."

"Yeah I was."

"If you have a ball, we should toss it around some before I go."

"We can do that."

"I like football but I mainly do it so I can go to college and be a doctor."

"I think it's very admirable that you want to be a doctor." Christy said.

"Well, I've always liked helping people."

"I forgot to get a drink." Clara said. She went to get up.

"Sit down babe." Ben said stopping her. "I'll get it." He stood up. "What do you want?"

"A Coke."

"Coming up." He got her drink and sat back down.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Clara and Ben were leaving.

"If you're going to be really late, call or text." Christy said.

"I will." Clara said

"Don't worry." Ben said "I won't let anything happen to her." They left.

They been gone for about a half hour. Christy and Nick were sitting on the couch.

"What do you think of Ben?" Nick asked.

"He's a sweet kid." "I like him, but."

"But?"

"I like Clay better."

"I do to but we won't tell Clara that."

"She told me that Clay saw her and Ben at "Monet's" the other day." "He doesn't like Ben and all and him and Clara got into a big fight." "She said she thought they could be friends but she was wrong."

"So that's what's been wrong with him." "He's been kind of irritated at work lately."

"Aw."

"I wonder if he's seeing anyone."

"He is." "Her name's Tricia." "Clara told me the second day she was home." "When she told me I could tell it bothered her." "I think she still loves him." "I think if Clay said he wanted to get back together, she would leave Ben in a second."

"Which would hurt him." "He's head over heels for her."

"I know." "It's adorable.'

Clara and Ben were at his hotel room. They were laying in bed kissing.

"That was, so amazing." She said in between kisses.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He looked at her. "Are you ever going to tell me what those scars on your leg are from?"

"I still don't want to talk about it."

"Ok but just so you know, you can tell me anything, anything at all."

"I know."

"I love you."

"Does it hurt your feelings?"

"What?"

"That I haven't said I love you yet."

"A little but I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be." "It's fine."

"You know how much I care about you right?""

"Yes."

"I'm so happy you're here with me and I'm so happy we're together."

"I know."

"I've gotta go."

"No." "I want you to stay."

"I'm sorry honey." "I want to stay to but I can't." She got up and dressed. He put on his boxers.

They walked to the door.

"I'll be able to spend the night with you again when we go back to school." Clara said.

"I know." "I just miss it."

"Me to." They kissed.

"Be careful."

"I will."

"I love you."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Clara left. Ben wondered why Clara didn't love him.


	51. Chapter 51

The month of August had just began. Clay was planning a surprise trip weekend trip to Denver, Colorado were Tricia was from. After he checked into a hotel in the area he took a cab to her house. The cab had just pulled up. Clay paid the driver and got out. He went up to the door and knocked. An overweight man answered.

"Yeah?" "What?" The man said rudely.

"Hi, is Tricia here?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Clay." "I'm Tricia's boyfriend."

"Whatever." He moved so Clay could go in. "The little bitch is in her room upstairs."

Clay went upstairs and found Tricia's room. The door was open.

"Tricia." He said from the doorway.

She looked over and smiled. "Clay." She said excitedly. "Come here." She went in. They hugged and kissed. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to surprise you." "Surprise."

"You did."

"I'm here for the weekend."

"Good."

"Wanna come back to my hotel room?"

"Yes." "Let me pack a bag." "I'm gonna stay with you while you're here, ok?"

"Sure." "Don't you have to ask your mom or stepdad?"

"They won't care." "They don't care about me." She packed a bag.

They were going down the stairs. Just as they got to the bottom the front door opened. Tricia's mom drunkly staggered in. She saw Tricia and Clay.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Her mom said pointing at Clay.

"Mom, this is my boyfriend Clay." Tricia said.

"Why is he here?"

"He came to visit her for the weekend."

She looked at Clay. "Don't you dare knock her up you horny little shit." "I'm not raising no damn baby." "Patricia's worthless enough as it is."

"Let's go Clay."

They took her car to the hotel. They were sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry about my family." She said.

"It's ok."

"No it's not." "They're horrible."

"I don't care about that." "I care about you." They kissed. "Wanna have sex?"

"Yeah."

Afterwards they were laying in bed.

"I love you." Tricia said. That was the first time she'd ever said that.

Clay knew he couldn't not say it back. Tricia needed someone to care about her. "I love you too Tricia." They kissed.

A week had passed. Clara was going to spend two weeks with Ben and his family in three days. She was packing and going through some things in her room. She opened a dresser drawer and found a photo album. She started going through it. She came acrossed her prom corsage, next to that was a picture of Clara and Clay right before they went to prom. She began to think about that night and smiled.

"Clara I found the bigger suitcase." Christy said coming into the room breaking her from her thoughts.

"Thanks mom."

"What are you doing?"

"Just packing."

"Looks like your looking at pictures."

"I just came acrossed an old album."

Christy looked at it. "You and Clay."

"Yeah."

"Do you still love him?"

"What, no." "I can't wait to go see Ben." She said quickly changing the subject. "I'm really excited."

"I know you are."

Ben had just gotten back from the store. He picked up some of Clara's favorite foods. He was in the kitchen. Gabby came into the kitchen.

"Hi Gabs." He said.

"Since when do you go shopping?" She asked confused.

"I bought some things Clara likes to eat."

"I can't wait to meet her." "I can't believe Morgan, Roseanna and Ellie are all going to a spa for two weeks instead of meeting Clara."

"I don't mind." "I can't wait for you to meet her either." "I've never had feelings for anyone like I have them for her."

"I know."

"She's the one Gabby."

"The one?"

"The one." "The one I want to marry someday."

"Aw."

"I just hope she can tell me she loves me soon."

"She hasn't told you that yet."

"No."

Three days later Clara was standing outside of Ben's front door. She knocked on the door. A skinny woman answered.

"Hi." You must be Clara." She said. "Come in." She went in. "I'm Ben's mom Mary."

"It's nice to meet you."

"Hello." A man said coming into the living room. "I'm Ben's dad James."

"It's nice to meet you both."

"Babe." Ben said as he was coming down the stairs. Gabby was right behind him.

"Honey." They hugged and kissed.

"I want you to meet my sister Gabby."

"Hi Gabby, I've heard a lot about you."

"I've heard a lot about you to." "It's nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you to."

After dinner with the family Clara and Ben went back to her hotel room. They were laying in bed. Clara knew if she wanted things to stay happy with Ben and not break up, she'd have to do something he wanted for a long time now. She kissed him.

'"I love you Ben." She said.

He looked at her and smiled. I love you too babe." They kissed.


	52. Chapter 52

Clara and Clay were both going back to school in a week. It was two o'clock in the morning. Clara popped up in bed. She'd just had one of her nightmares. She hadn't had one in a very long time. She was also having an anxiety attack. She picked up her cell phone. Without thinking about it or knowing why she dialed Clay's number.

"Hello?" He said tiredly.

"Clay." She said breathing heavily.

"Clara?" "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah." "I'm sorry." "I don't know why i called you." "Bye."

"Wait don't hang up." He said quickly. "Breathe slowly." "Breathe."

"I'm gonna go." "You shouldn't have to deal with this anymore."

"Don't worry about that Clara, just breathe." She started to breathe slowly. "Good."

About fifteen minutes had passed. "I'm starting to feel better."

"Good." "Listen, I'm sorry about the last time we talked." "I shouldn't have reacted that way but, I hate your boyfriend."

"I know." "I understand why."

"I still want us to be friends."

"Me to."

"If I ever see you out with Ben again, I'll just walk the other way." "I don't like the fact that you're with him but it's your choice." "I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you Clay." "How's um...

"Tricia?"

"Yeah."

"Fine."

"Good." "I'm gonna go."

"Ok." "It was nice talking to you."

"Nice talking to you to." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." They hung up.

A week later Clay was back at school. He went to Tricia's room and knocked on the door. She answered and smiled.

"Hi." She said happily.

"Hi." They hugged and kissed.

"I've never been so happy to be back at school."

"I'm just glad you're happy again." "Come in." He went in. "Do you have a roommate this year?"

"No."

"Me either."

"Wanna see the bedroom?" She asked smirking.

"Sure." They went into the bedroom.

"I'm not done decorating it yet."

"It's nice." They kissed. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

Two days later Clara had just gotten back to Michigan. She'd just gotten to the sorority house. When she got to her room there was a bouquet of red tulips and a note on her bed. She opened the note. It read.

Welcome back! When you're ready come up to my room. I'll be waiting for you.

Love,

Ben

After she unpacked most of her stuff she went to Ben's room. He was unpacking. His back was to her.

"Hi honey." She said.

"Babe." He turned around. They kissed. "Give me another one." She kissed him.

"Miss me or something?"

"Yeah."

"Guess what."

"What?"

"I finally decided to major in psychology."

"That's great."

"Want help unpacking?"

"Sure."

She was helping him unpack. She opened a dresser drawer and noticed it was empty.

"Why is there nothing in this one?" Clara asked.

"It's yours."

"Mine?" She said confused.

"I figure you can leave some of your stuff here, if you want." "That way you won't have to run back and forth so much."

"Ok."

"You can even bring some stuff from your room to make it feel more homey."

"Alright."

Later that night Ben was at home with his frat brothers. A few of them were playing Playstation. Ben was on his phone.

"Ben, do you want to play?" One of them asked.

"No." He said.

"What are you doing?"

"Ring shopping."

"Did you just say ring shopping?" Rob asked.

"Yeah."

"You're gonna propose to Clara?"

"Not right now but yeah." "I'm looking for one now so I can start paying for it."

"You're that serious about her?"

"Absolutely." "I know she feels the same way." "I see us getting married and having kids."


	53. Chapter 53

Clara had been back to school for a few months. She liked the psychology courses she was taking. Today she and the rest of her sorority sisters were spending time at the children's hospital. Everyone was assigned to a child for one hour. A nurse took Clara to the pediatric cancer ward. They went into a room. A little girl, who looked to be about six was sitting in a chair. She was very pale and had a bandana on.

"Susan." The nurse said. "This is Clara." "She's going to spend some time with you today." "I'll be back in an hour." She left.

"Hi." Clara said.

"Hi."

"How are you today?"

"Today's actually a good day." "I've had worse."

"I'm glad you're having a good day."

"Are you a candy striper?"

"No."

"I didn't think so." "You don't have on the uniform."

"I'm volunteering here today with my sorority sisters."

"You're in college?"

"Yes." "I go to the University Of Michigan."

"Are you graduating soon?"

"No." "I just started my second year." "I have two more to go."

"I hope I go to college one day." "I have Leukemia."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the chemo treatments are kind of tough but they help."

"That's good."

"The doctors are really nice."

"My boyfriend wants to be a doctor."

"What's his name?"

"Ben." "Wanna see a picture?"

"Yeah." Clara took out her cell phone and showed her a picture. "He's cute."

"That's what I thought when I first saw him." "Wanna play a game?"

"Yeah."

Later that night Clara went to Ben's room. She was telling him about Susan.

"She was just the cutest thing." Clara said.

"She sounds like it." They got in bed. "I'm so tired."

"Me to." "We both had a busy day."

"You know, I bet we'll make beautiful babies together one day."

"How many babies do you want?"

"Well I come from a big family, so I'd like to keep the tradition going."

"We have plenty of time to talk about that." They kissed.

"I love you babe."

"I love you too."

The next morning at Princeton Tricia was awakened by her cell phone ringing. She sat up using the sheet to cover herself but couldn't find the phone.

"Where the fuck is it?" She whispered.

"Over here in your jeans." Clay said tiredly.

"Can you hand it to me?"

"Yeah." He sat up and got it. By the time he handed it to her it stopped ringing.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine." They kissed.

A noise went off that indicated Tricia had a voicemail. "Hold on." She listened to the voicemail. "What the hell?" She said confused.

"What's wrong?"

"That was a detective from the police department." "He wants to talk to me about my mom and stepdad."

"Huh?"

They got up and dressed. Clay walked her to the door.

"I'll see you later." She said.

"Ok." "Call me when you know anything."

"I will."

"I love you."

"I love you too." They kissed.

Two days had passed. Clay hadn't heard from Tricia. He was in his room doing homework. His cell phone started to ring.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hi." Tricia said.

"Where have you been I've been so worried."

"Can you come over?" "We need to talk."

"I'll be right there."

Ten minutes later there was a knock at Tricia's door. She answered.

"Hey." He went in.

He noticed her bags were packed. "What's going on Tricia?"

"Well my mom and stepdad apparently had a meth lab in the basement " "They were raided and got busted." "They're both gonna get at least five years in prison." "They paid my room and board and half my tuition." "I have to leave school."

"Where are you going?"

"To stay with some cousins of my dad's." "My real dad." "They live in Missouri." "I've never met them."

"Are you ok?"

"No." He hugged her. "I asked you here to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" "What do you mean?"

"I'm leaving."

"That doesn't mean we have to break up."

"I saw what the long distance thing did with you and Clara." "I don't want that to happen to us."

"Please don't do this." "I love you."

"I know." "You're the only one who has ever loved me my whole life." She said with tears coming down her cheeks. She kissed him. "I'll never forget you." She picked up her bags. "Bye."

"Bye." She left. He stood there in disbelief.


	54. Chapter 54

Clara was in the library with Ben. They were studying. She looked at the clock on her phone.

"I have to go." She whispered.

"I'll walk you out." He whispered back.

They went outside.

"I'll be over as soon as I close the diner tonight."

"I still hate that you have to close the diner by yourself."

"I'm always fine."

"I know." "I just get worried."

"I know." She kissed him. "See you tonight."

"I'll be waiting." "I love you."

"I love you too."

Later that night Clara closed the diner and was walking to the frat house. She heard police sirens that sounded like they were really close. Clara was crossing the street. Suddenly a car going about eighty turned on the road Clara was crossing. It was being followed by two cop cars. Before Clara could react the car ran her over. The two cop cars swerved to miss her.

Suddenly Clara felt incredibly light like she was floating. She was suddenly surrounded by white. Hannah came out of nowhere.

"Hannah?" She said in disbelief. "You're dead." "Wait?" "If I'm seeing you, that means I'm-

"Yeah."

"No." "I'm not ready yet."

"You're in luck." "It's not your time." "Clay can't lose you to."

Before she could respond she disappeared into darkness.

Paramedics had paddles on Clara. One of them checked for a pulse.

"I've got signs." He said.

Ben was waiting for Clara. He was getting worried. One of his frat brothers came running into his room.

"Ben Clara got hit by a car."

"What?!" He said shocked. "Is she ok?"

"I don't know."

Clara's parents were at the airport. They were taking the red eye flight to Michigan. All they knew is that Clara got hit by a car. They were waiting for there flight to board. Nick took out his cell phone.

"Who are you calling?" Christy asked.

"Clay."

Clay was sleeping when his cell phone started to ring.

"Hello?" He said tiredly.

"Clay it's Nick." He said. "Clara's been in an accident." "She was hit by a car."

"Oh my god." He said sitting up. "Is she ok?"

"We don't know yet." "We're on our way to Michigan right now."

"Call me when you know something."

"I will i promise."

Christy and Nick got to Michigan five hours later. When they got to the hospital they were directed to the Intensive Care Unit. Ben was there.

"Ben." Nick said. "How is she?"

"I don't know." Ben said frustrated. "They won't tell me anything."

The doctor came out.

"Mr. and Mrs. Randall?" The doctor asked.

"Yes." They said.

"All of Clara's ribs are broken." "She has a broken right wrist and and shattered right shoulder." "She has multiple abrasions and contusions." "She's also in a coma."

"A coma." Christy said with tears in her eyes. "Will she wake up?"

"That's up to her." "When and if she starts to wake up she won't just wake right up." "She may wake up for a few seconds." "She may even talk but fall right back into the coma." "It will take awhile for all parts of her brain to function."

"Can we see her?" Nick asked.

"Third door on the left." The doctor walked away.

"I'll let you guys see her first." Ben said

Christy and Nick went into Clara's room. Clara's face was covered with cuts and bruises. Her right arm was in a sling and her right wrist had a brace on it.

"It's ok Clara." Christy said with tears running down her cheeks. "Mommy and daddy are with you." "You're gonna be ok."


	55. Chapter 55

It had been three weeks since Clara's accident. She still wasn't awake yet. Ben pretty much lived at the hospital. The only time he left was to go to class or play in a football game. Christy was still at the hospital but Nick went back to run the pizza shop. He didn't want to but without it they had no income. Ben had just gotten back to Clara's room.

"Hi Ben." Christy said.

"Hi."

"How was class?"

"Fine." He looked at Clara. "Hi babe, how are you?" "Are you ready to open your eyes for me yet?" "No?" "That's ok." He sat down next to Christy. "I want to talk to you about something."

"What?"

"Well I probably should be talking to Nick about this but when she gets better, I'd like to ask Clara to marry me."

"Ben it's not that you're not a great guy." "Nick and I both like you." "I just think it's a little soon for you to be thinking about that."

"Well we wouldn't get married until after college." "I want to make sure Clara gets her degree." "I was going to wait until the end of my senior year but her accident made me realize, I don't want to wait."

"Let me talk to Nick about it."

"I won't do anything without your blessing."

Two days later it was the afternoon. Ben was at class. Christy was in Clara's room. To her surprise Clay walked in.

"Clay." Christy said surprised.

"Hi." "I wanted to see Clara."

"I'll give you two a minute." She left the room.

"Hi Clara." He said going up to her bed. "Listen, I need you to wake up." "I just need to know that you're alright." He held her left hand. "I don't know if you can hear me, I love you." She squeezed his hand. He kissed her forehead.

Two nights later Christy had convinced Ben to go home and get some sleep. Christy was sleeping in Clara's room. Clara's eyes fluttered open.

"Clay." Clara said before shutting her eyes again.


	56. Chapter 56

Clara had been in a coma for three months. Every day everyone would pray she would wake up. The good news was her body was all healed. It was around midnight. Ben and Christy's were both sleeping in Clara's room. Christy was on a couch in the room and Ben was sleeping in a chair. Clara started moving around. Slowly she opened her eyes. She didn't know where she was.

"Hello?" She said confused. Ben woke up.

"Clara." He said shocked that she was awake. "Christy wake up she's awake." Christy woke up.

"She's awake?" Christy said. "I'll go get the doctor." She left the room.

Ben went up to Clara's bed.

"Ben what's going on?" Clara asked confused.

"It's ok." "You're gonna be fine." "You're in the hospital." "You were hit by a car."

"Hit by a car?"

"Yeah."

"I don't remember that." "I remember walking home from the diner." "How long have I been have i been here?"

"Three months." "You were in a coma."

"I was."

"Yeah." "I'm so glad you're awake." "I've pretty much lived here since you're accident."

"Well then, i want you to go home and get some sleep."

"I will." "As soon as the doctor tells me you're ok."

After the doctor checked Clara Ben went home. Since she had a head injury the doctor wanted to to keep her for another week. Clara and christC were in the room alone

"I just got off the phone with your dad." Christy said. "He'll be here tomorrow."

"Mom does Clay know about my accident."

"Yeah." "He's been here five times."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Can you call him in the morning and tell him I'm ok?"

"Your dad already made that phone call." "He was calling Clay when we hung up."

Two days later Clara was sitting up in her hospital bed. Christy was at the hotel. Ben was getting ready to go to class.

"I'll be back after class." Ben said.

"Ok." "I love you."

"I love you too."

Ben had been gone for about twenty minutes. The door opened. Clara looked over and saw clay standing there.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi." He went up to her bed and hugged her. "I'm so glad you're ok." "I was worried."

"My mom told me you've been here five times."

"I was."

"You didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did." "If I had a choice I never would've left your side." "Your accident made me realize how much I- The nurse came in.

"It's time for another cat scan." The nurse said.


	57. Chapter 57

Clara was out of the hospital. It was arranged that she would take online summer courses, so she could still graduate on time. She'd just left the Dean's office and was walking back to the sorority house. It was going to be her first time going back there since the accident. When she got there the door was locked. She used her key to get in. The lights were off. When she turned them on all of her sorority sisters and all the members of Omega Kappa Gamma popped out and yelled "Surprise" The living room was decorated with balloons and streamers.

"What's all this?" She said surprised.

"You're welcome home party." Amber said hugging her. "We're all so glad you're back."

"So this was your idea?"

"No it was Ben's idea."

"I should've known." "Where is he?"

"Right here babe." He said stepping out of the crowd.

"Come here." He went up to her. "Thank you." She kissed him. "Ok, is there any food, I'm starving." Everyone laughed.

Clay was in his room at Princeton. He needed someone to talk to so he called Tony.

"Hello?" Tony said.

"What's up?" Clay said.

"Not much." "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." He said depressed.

"You don't sound to happy."

"I'm not."

"What's a matter?"

"Well you know that Clara was in that accident."

"Yeah."

"Since that happened I realized, I love her and I want her back."

"Well, tell her that."

"I can't." "She's in love with Ben."

"It's your choice but whatever you decide you have to live with it."

Later that night Clara had just gotten to Ben's room.

"Hi honey." She said.

"Hi." They kissed. "I have something to give you." He took something out of it drawer. It was an antique diamond bracelet. "This belonged to my great-great grandmother." "She gave it to my grandma." "My grandma gave it to me just before she died." "She told me to give to someone i love, someone I loved with all my heart." "I want you to have it."

"Honey, I'm flattered but I couldn't."

"Yes you can."

She took it and put it on. "Thank you." "I love it." "I love you." She kissed him.

"I love you too." They kissed. He felt her hands moving down his body and pulled away.

"What?"

"Maybe we shouldn't."

"Ben, I'm fine." "I promise." They kissed and laid down on the bed.


	58. Chapter 58

Clara was a few weeks into her summer vacation. She was having trouble with some of her online courses. Particularly the English courses she had to take. It was night time. Nick had just gotten home from work. Clara was on her laptop on the couch working on assignments.

"Hi dad." Clara said.

"Hi Clara."

"How was it tonight?"

"Busy."

"Good."

"Still having trouble with English?"

"Yeah." "I'm not working on that right now."

"I told Clay you were struggling with it." "He said he would come and help you if you wanted."

"I'll think about it."

Before she went to bed Clara decided to call Ben.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hi honey."

"Hi babe" "I was just thinking about you." "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"What's up?"

"Not much." "I spend most of my time working on my summer courses."

"Still having trouble with the English ones?

"Yeah." "Speaking of that, my dad said Clay offered to help me with the English courses." "If you don't mind i think I'm gonna take him up on it."

"I don't mind at all." "I trust you." "If you need help and he wants to help you, let him."

"I just didn't want to tell him to help me and tell you later and have you think something was going on."

"I'd never think that."

"I'm gonna go to bed." "I love you Ben."

"I love you too Clara." "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

The next evening Clay didn't have to work at the the pizza shop, so he went over to help Clara with her work. He'd just gotten there. Christy was making dinner in the kitchen.

"Hi." Clara said.

"Hi." He said sitting down next to her on the couch.

"It's been awhile."

"Yeah."

"How's Tricia?"

"Tricia and I broke up awhile ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry." "What happened?"

"She had some family issues and had to drop out of school and move." "I wanted to stay together but she said no."

"That sucks."

"Yeah." "So, how's Ben?" Clay said trying to sound as civil as possible.

"He's good." "We just celebrated our one year anniversary a few months ago."

"Did he give that to you?" He asked motioning to her bracelet.

"Yeah."

"Let's get started."

An hour later Nick came walking through the door. Clara and Clay were busy at work. Clara sighed frustrated.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

"This stupid English." Clara said.

"Come on, you know the answer." Clay said.

Nick went into the kitchen where Christy was.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." They kissed. "It's so nice to see that again." She whispered motioning to Clara and Clay.

"Yeah." He whispered back. They listened to them for a second.

"See I knew you knew the answer." Clay said.

"That's only because you're a good teacher." She said smiling.

"Well you're my best student." He said smiling back.

"I'm you're only student."

Christy turned to Nick.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She whispered.

"They're going to get back together?"

"Yeah."


	59. Chapter 59

Clara had been busy with her online courses. She was glad Clay agreed to help her. With him helping things were going smoothly. Clara was in the kitchen studying when her cell phone started to ring.

"Hello?" She said.

"Hi babe." Ben said.

"Hi honey."

"What's up?"

"I'm studying." "I have a psychology quiz."

"Want me to let you go?"

"No." "I can spare a few minutes." "What are you doing?"

"Looking at my top choice medical schools online." "I can't believe I'm applying when we go back to school.."

"I can't believe eventually I'll be dating a doctor."

"Yeah." "Not for awhile though."

"I don't mind waiting." "You'll be the sexiest doctor I've ever seen." "Maybe we should play doctor next time we see each other."

"We can do that." "Of course, I'll have to go over every inch of your body."

"Sounds good to me."

"Me to."

"Why do we talk about these things when we can't do anything about it?"

"You started it Clara."

"Well you kept it going."

"Oh, so it's my fault?" He asked jokingly..

"Yeah pretty much." "I should go before you distract me anymore."

"Oh really, I'm distracting you huh?"

"Yes, you have me thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about, when I should be thinking about my quiz."

"What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"I'm thinking of you and no clothes."

"Just me, or you to."

"Me to."

"I like where this is going."

"Well it's gonna have to stop going."

"Ok." "I love you."

"I love you too." "Bye."

"Bye."

The next night Clay came over to help Clara. Christy and Nick were getting ready to leave. They were going out on a date.

"We'll be back in an hour or so." Christy said.

"Ok." Clara said.

An hour passed.

"We're taking a snack break." Clara said. "Do you want some popcorn?"

"The stove kind right?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

After they ate they were sitting on the couch talking.

"Remember the time we were at our spot and we both fell asleep?" Clay asked.

"Yeah." "We were both so worried we were gonna get caught sneaking into our houses."

"I know." "No one ever suspected a thing."

"You know, when I had my accident- She stopped. "Nevermind."

"What?"

"Nevermind." "You'll think I'm crazy."

"Tell me."

"I have no memory of the accident itself but, I remember when I died for a few minutes."

"You think you died?"

"I don't think I died." "I know I died." "I met Hannah." "She said it wasn't my time." "She said we both couldn't leave you, the next thing I know I woke up in the hospital."

"I believe you."

"I haven't told anyone that." "Not even Ben."

"I'm glad I didn't lose you." "I can't." He grabbed her hand and held it. "I need you." Slowly he drifted closer to her lips. He knew he shouldn't but he didn't care. She knew what he was going to do and knew she should stop him. He pressed his lips to hers. She moaned when he did and kissed him back. Not breaking from her lips he laid her down on the couch getting on top of her. Suddenly they heard the key in the lock of the front door and got up quickly. Clay had lip gloss on his mouth

Christy and Nick came through the door.

"That's enough for tonight." Clay said. "See you tomorrow."

"Clara, what were you guys doing?" Nick asked.

"Working." Clara said. "I'm going to bed." "Goodnight." She went upstairs.

Nick turned to Christy. "Working my ass." He said smiling. "They were making out."

"I know." Christy said. "Clay's mouth was a dead giveaway."


	60. Chapter 60

Clara had felt guilty for making out with Clay for the last two days. She asked Tony to meet her at "Monet's" she got there before him and ordered a Cappuccino. Tony got there about five minutes later. He got a coffee and they sat down at a table.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Tony asked.

"I did something really stupid the other night."

"What?"

"I made out with Clay."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know." "We were just talking about my accident, things got emotional." "The next thing I knew we were kissing."

"Do you still have feelings for Clay?"

"I love Ben."

"That's not what I asked you."

"I don't know."

"Why are you lying?"

"I'm confused." "I know there's no future for Clay and I."

"What kind of future do you see for you and Ben?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to tell him what happened?"

"No." "It was a one time mistake, that's all."

Later that afternoon Clara was at home. She was in the kitchen working on her courses on her laptop. There was a knock at the door. Christy answered it. It was Clay.

"Hi Clay." Christy said.

"Hi." "Is Clara home?"

"She's in the kitchen." "Come in." He went in.

Clay went into the kitchen.

"Hi." He said.

"Hey." She said looking up from the laptop. "What are you doing here?" "You're not supposed to come until tomorrow."

"I wanna talk."

"Sure, what about?" She said knowing the answer but avoiding the topic.

"I'm pretty sure you know what." "Can we go up to your room?"

"I guess."

They went up to her room. Clara shut the door.

"Clay before you get started, the other night was a mistake." She said.

"You didn't have to kiss me back but you did."

"I know I did." "I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

"Clay, I love Ben "

"Well I- There was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

"Surprise." Ben said coming into the room.

"Honey." She said shocked. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to spend the rest of the summer with you."

""I'll be working most of the summer."

"That's ok." "I'll help you."

"Well it's time for me to go." Clay said doing his best not to punch Ben in the face. He left.


	61. Chapter 61

Clara was back at school and a month into her Junior year. She and Ben were going to the Homecoming dance in a few days. It was to welcome back the students. Clara and Amber were picking up their dresses. Clara's dress was a light blue, strapless, backless evening gown.

"You're going to look so pretty." Amber said.

"So are you." "I can't believe it's already my Junior year."

"I can't believe it's already my Senior year." "It seems like only yesterday I welcomed you into the house."

"Yeah." "How times have changed." "Now I'm dating Ben and studying psychology."

"Well everyone knew you'd end up with Ben."

"You did?"

"Yeah, you guys are the perfect couple."

"We're far from perfect."

"You two never fight or anything."

"Well, the real test for our relationship will happen next year."

"What do you mean?"

"Well next year I stay here and Ben goes to med school." "We may even have to live in different places for a few years, it depends on what I choose to do with my psychology degree."

"Well if anyone can make it work you two can."

Two nights later Clara was waiting for Ben to pick her up for the dance. There was a knock at the door. Clara answered it. Ben was standing there in a tux.

"Hi." She said.

"Hi."

"Wow, you look beautiful."

"Thanks." "You look pretty handsome yourself."

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

After the dance Ben was walking Clara home. The street lights were on. Ben stopped in front of a tree.

"Remember that tree?" He asked.

"Yeah." "We had our first real conversation under that tree."

"In that moment I knew I wanted to be with you." He took something out of his pocket and got down on one knee. He opened the little box revealing a diamond ring. "I want to be with you forever." "I want a house with you." "I want a family with you." "Clara, will you marry me?"


	62. Chapter 62

Clara was standing there in absolute shock.

"Ben, I'm sorry, I can't." She said with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." "We don't have to right now." "I can wait." He got up and put the ring away

"Ben, I love you, I do."

"Why do I get the feeling that's not all you have to say?"

"I don't want to marry you, ever." "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Why not?" "If you love me, why not?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead." "Obviously you have." "Being faced with that question, it's just not what I want."

"So, it's over then?"

"Since we want different things, I think that's best."

"Ok." He said sadly. "I still want to walk you home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Nine Months Later

Clara was a week into her summer vacation. She'd been single since she broke up with Ben and she liked it. Clara was at "Monet's" drinking a Cappuccino and waiting for Tony. She was on her cell phone. Tony walked in and went up to Clara's table.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." She said looking up from her phone. She stood up. They hugged. "It's been so long."

"To long." They sat down. "What are you looking at?"

"This city in California called Napa." "I've been thinking about it a lot and after I graduate next year, I'm moving there."

"You are?"

"Yeah." "Look how beautiful it is." "She showed him some pictures.

"It is beautiful." "Are you still playing the single scene?"

"Yep, I'm single and staying that way." "Have you seen Clay at all?"

"Yeah."

"How is he?"

"Good."

Later that night Clay was helping niNi close up the pizza shop.

"Has Clara come home yet?" Clay asked.

"Yeah she's been back about a week."

"How is she?"

"She's doing good."

"Did Ben come with her?"

"She broke up with him."

"She did what?" He said surprised. "When?"

"Back in September I think."

"It's over huh?" He did his best but couldn't hide the growing smile on his face.


	63. Chapter 63

Clara had been working at the pizza shop to earn extra money for her move to California. Combined with the money she'd been saving from waiting tables at the diner, she'd saved about two-thousand dollars. Clara was at home in the kitchen counting her savings. Christy came into the kitchen.

"Morning mom." Clara said.

"Morning." "Adding to the money pile?"

"Just recounting."

"How much now?

"Two-thousand dollars."

"You don't have to move just because you're graduating college you know."

"Mom I'm going to be twenty-one next spring." "It's time for me to get my own place."

"I know but in California."

"I'll be back every Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"I know but it won't be the same." "You've always lived right upstairs."

"Anytime you want to talk you can call or Skype or text." "I'm not even leaving yet."

"I know but it'll go by quick." "It seems like just yesterday we brought you home from the hospital."

"Well maybe one day in the future I'll call you and say I'm getting married." "Or I'll call you and say I'm pregnant." "That's exciting stuff to look forward to."

"Would you want those things?"

"Marriage, definitely, when the right guy comes along." "Children, it's not something I need but if I were to get pregnant I'd be happy about it."Nick came into the kitchen. "Morning dad.

"Morning Clara." Nick said. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Mom's freaking out about me moving to California again."

"I'm not freaking out." Christy said. "I just want time to slow down."

"Clara, you have to close the shop with Clay tonight." "Are you ok with that?" Nick asked.

"Yes." Clara said. "We broke up two years ago." "I haven't even talked to him in almost a year." "It's fine."

Later that night Clara and Clay were closing up.

"We were so busy tonight." Clara said.

"I know I made eighty dollars in tips." "So, how's Ben?" Clay asked acting like he didn't know anything.

"I broke up with him."

"Really?" "Why?"

"He proposed to me and I said no."

"He did what?" He said surprised.

"Yeah." "When he did I realized a forever with him was not what I wanted." "So I made the really hard decision and broke things off."

"When did that happen?"

"Nine months ago." "I've just been enjoying the single life." "I do miss having sex a little bit but I'm not gonna go around having it with just anybody." "That's only reserved for people I love." "When I graduate I'm not coming back here." "I'm moving."

"Where?"

"Napa, California."

"I've actually been thinking, now that you're not with Ben anymore, maybe we could give it another try."

"No Clay."

"I still have feelings for you."

"Clay don't." "I told you two minutes ago I broke up with Ben and now you want to get back together."

"I've actually known for a week." "I didn't know why." "Nick told me." "We could make it work this time."

"No we couldn't."

"I love you Clara."

"The last time I said I love you to you you broke up with me."

"I made a mistake."

"No you didn't." "You were right, it was to hard."

"You don't love me anymore?"

"Whether I love you or not is not the issue." "We've tried it before it won't work." "I couldn't take losing you again it killed me last time."

"You won't." "I won't do that again." "I promise."

"I can't take that chance again." "Besides, if we got back together I'd have to stay here and I don't want to."

"I'll go to California with you."

"I can't Clay." "I'm sorry." "It's time to go." She turned to leave. He got in front of her.

"Clara." He kissed her. She kissed him back. He picked her up and sat her on the counter. Suddenly her cell phone started to ring. She broke the kiss and got down off the counter.

"Hello?" She said. "Hi mom." She motioned for Clay to go out the front door. He did. "We're locking up now." She turned off the lights and locked the door. She got in her car and drove off. She was glad Christy called before she did something she regretted.


	64. Chapter 64

Clara was helping Christy in the kitchen.

"Clara are you and Clay back together?" Christy asked.

"No why?"

"Your dad was checking out the security tapes at the pizza shop from last month and saw you guys making out." "It looked like you were going to do more then that."

"Oh that." "He told me he wanted to get back together." "I said no." "Things got a little emotionally and went a little to far." "I'm glad you called that night." "I probably would've wound up doing something I regretted." "Sex with Clay or anyone else is not what I need right now."

"Why did you say no?"

"I've been down that road with him." "I don't want to do that again." "It would start off great, but we both know how it would end."

"I feel bad leaving you over the Fourth Of July weekend."

"Don't." "You and dad go have fun." "I can keep myself entertained."

"I know but that's a family holiday."

"Not really." "Thanksgiving and Christmas are family holidays." "I'll be fine there's going to be a million things to do here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes you have to stop worrying about me and concentrate on you and dad."

"It's hard not to worry about you." "You're my daughter."

"I know but I'm grown up now."

"I know." "It's just hard for me to accept."

"I know."

"Time goes by to quick."

"It doesn't seem like it to me."

"Wait till you're out of school." "You'll see what I mean." "You probably think I don't know what I'm talking about huh."

"A little."

"You'll see."

It was the Fourth of July. Christy and Nick were away for the weekend. It was a nice night so Clara decided to walk to where the fireworks were. She was sitting on a grassy patch. She'd been there for about fifteen minutes when Clay came up to her.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi."

"Can I sit down?"

"Sure." He sat down.

"How have you been?"

"Fine." "You?"

"Fine."

"You know, my dad saw the tape." "My mom told me a couple days ago."

"What tape?"

"The one from the last time we closed up the pizza shop."

"Oh." "No wonder they haven't asked us to close it up."

"Yeah."

They watched the fireworks. A few seconds after they were over a sudden heavy downpour started.

"Oh shit." Clara said. "I have to find somewhere to go inside." "I walked here."

"I have my car." "Want a ride home?"

"Yeah."

When they got back to her house it was still pouring.

"Wanna come in for a minute until it stops?" She asked.

"Yeah."

They went inside.

"I'm gonna go change out of my wet clothes." She said. "Do you need something to wear?"

"No." The only thing that's wet is my coat. He took it off.

"I'll be back." She came back down wearing pajamas.

They watched a movie. It had just ended.

"Where's the remote?" She asked.

"Over here by me."

"Can I see it?"

"Sure." He held it up. "See it?"

"Ha ha." "Very funny." Suddenly he kissed her and pulled away.

"Sorry." She kissed him. He kissed her back. She got on top of him. After a few minutes she broke the kiss and got up.

"Come on."

He stood up. "Are we going where I think we're going?"

"As long as you can handle a one night stand." "That's all this is and is gonna be." "One last time."

"Let's go."

They went up to her room. She took off his shirt. He took off her top. They got on the bed. He was on top of her. He broke the kiss.

"What?" She asked.

"I don't have anything."

"Ordinarily I'd say don't worry about it but I haven't taken my pill in a long time." "I have some in my nightstand." She took one out of the drawer.

"Is this ok?"

There were little things she missed being with him. That was one of them. "Yes."

Afterwards they were laying there.

"I noticed fresh cuts on your leg." Clay said.

"Yeah."

"Why are you doing that again?"

"My nightmares have been kicking up."

"Why?"

"You know when I'm stressed, they just do."

"Why are you stressed?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

It was three o'clock in the morning. Clara popped up in bed. They woke Clay up. She was breathing heavily. He sat up.

"It's ok." He said. "Breathe."

She looked at him. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok, just breathe." "I wanna lay down." They both laid down. She snuggled up to him.

"I'll bet you didn't miss this part."

"Just relax, I'm right here."


	65. Chapter 65

The next morning Clara woke up. Clay was looking at her.

"Morning." He said.

"Morning." "Watching me sleep?"

"I've only been up for a couple of minutes, plus I was enjoying the moment."

"Want to really enjoy the moment?" She kissed him.

"I thought you said one night stand."

"Well, we haven't gotten up, so technically it's still our one night stand."

"Condoms are in here right?" He said pointing to the nightstand drawer.

"Yeah."

He took one out of the drawer. "Come here." They kissed. He rolled her on her back and started kissing the side of her neck.

"Oh Clay." She moaned

"I love when you say that." He looked at her. "Is this ok?"

"Yes." They kissed.

Afterwards they both were sitting on the bed.

"Can I take a shower?" Clay asked.

"Yeah." "I'm hungry." "Want some bacon and eggs?"

"Yeah."

Ten minutes later Clara was downstairs cooking.

"Hey Clara." Clay called from upstairs.

"What?"

"Where's your hair dryer?"

"Top shelf of the white cabinet."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Clay came down five minutes later. He sat down at the kitchen table.

"Breakfast is served." She said bringing him his plate

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." She got her plate and sat down.

"I forgot how good your cooking is."

"I don't know about you but I'm starving." "Great sex makes me hungry." She said smiling. He smiled.

"Have you found a place to live in California yet?"

"No." "I'm gonna start looking after Christmas."

"Are you gonna look for a place on the beach?"

"I'd like to but that would be way to expensive." "I'd at least like to get a place within walking distance of the beach."

Clara walked Clay to the door.

"Well last night was, interesting." Clara said.

"Yeah." "I enjoyed it."

"Me to."

"Since I haven't left yet, am I allowed to do this?" He kissed her.

"Yeah."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Later that afternoon Christy and Nick were home. Clara came downstairs.

"Clara?" Nick said.

"Yeah?" She said going into the kitchen where he was.

"Why is Clay's coat on the back of that chair?"

"I walked to go see the fireworks last night." "It started to storm really bad and Clay gave me a ride home." "He must've left it here." "I'll take it back to him later."

Later that night Clay was in his room. There was a knock at his door.

"Come in." He said.

Clara walked in holding Clay's coat. "Coat delivery."

"I didn't even notice I left it." He took it. "Do you have a second?"

"Yeah."

"Shut the door." She did.

He sat on the edge of the bed. "Come here." She sat down next to him. "I'm just gonna say it." "I want you back."

"We've had this conversation Clay."

"What about last night?"

"I thought you understood what last night was."

"You didn't feel anything?"

"I've gotta go." She went to get up. He grabbed her hand.

"Clara, i love you."

"It's obvious last night was a mistake."

"Don't say that."

It was a one time thing Clay."

"Why does it have to be?" "Why can't we be together?"

"What do you want from me, huh?" "Do you want to say I love you too?" "Fine, I love you too." She said with tears in her eyes. "I love you but I don't trust you." "That's why I won't take you back." She got up and left.


	66. Chapter 66

For a month and a half Clara had avoided Clay. She was going back to school tomorrow. She was having coffee with Tony at "Monet's" he'd just sat down with his coffee.

"So, your last night here." Tony said.

"Yeah." "I mean I'll be back for Thanksgiving and Christmas but yeah." "Have you um, talked to Clay at all?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you anything?"

"About you two?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"So you know what happened between us then?"

"Yeah."

"I knew it was a mistake." "I knew it." "Even before we did it while I was just thinking about it, I knew it."

"Why did you then?"

"I just, I just wanted one more night with him." "I know that after I go back to school, I'll more then likely never see him again."

"He says you said you don't trust him and that's why you won't take him back."

"Yeah." "I love him, I do but last time when things started to get tough he bailed." "It was tough and it was hard and it was frustrating but the difference is, I was willing to work through it." "He wasn't." "When we broke the last time we were able to remain friends." "If we broke up this time, I don't know if we would be." "We've had our ups and our downs." "I wanted to end things on an up." "I guess it's gonna be a down."

"Love is a crazy thing isn't it."

"Yeah." "It sucks." "The last thing I ever wanted is to hurt Clay."

"I know."

"Who knows, maybe one day I'll come back here and he'll have a wife and kids and I'll get to meet them." "Maybe I'll be married with kids to." "I'm gonna really miss him." She said visibly holding back tears.

"It's not to late."

"Yes it is." "It's been to late for a long time."

The next afternoon Clara was back at school organizing her room. There was a knock at her door.

"Come in." She was shocked to see Clay walk in. He was holding a paper in his hand. "Clay?" "What are you doing here?"

"Here." He handed her the paper. She looked at it.

"You transferred here?"

"Yeah."

"When did you do this?"

"The morning after we had our last conversation."

"Why?"

"Do I really need to tell you that?" "For you." "You said you couldn't be with me because you didn't trust me." "Now you don't have to worry about that." "I'm right here."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you would say not to do it."

"Yes I would've." "You shouldn't have given up your dream for me."

"Princeton's not my dream." "My dream is to be with you." "I've even started looking at places in Napa."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What about teaching?"

"I can teach anywhere." "I just want us to be together again." "I love you and I know you love me because you told me you did."

"Come here." She hugged him and kissed him. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"Well you're calling me sweetheart again." "Does that mean what I think it does?"

"Yes."

"Good." They kissed.


	67. Chapter 67

Clara and Clay were two months into their senior year. Today Clay started his first day of student teaching. He decided to be a tenth and eleventh grade English teacher. Clara had stayed there the night before. She'd spent the majority of her time there. Clay didn't have a roommate. Clay and Clay were getting ready for the day.

"Do you think I should wear a tie?' He asked.

"No you don't need a tie." "What you have picked out is perfect."

"I'm just nervous."

"You have nothing to be nervous about." "You're gonna be great."

"I only have one chance to make a good first impression."

"Everyone will love you."

"Easy for you to say." "You love me."

"Yes I do." "Everything's gonna be fine." She kissed him. "I'll be here after my shift tonight at eight."

"Ok."

"Have a good day."

"You to." "I never thought I'd be nervous for my first day at school again."

"You'll be fine sweetheart." They kissed. "I love you."

"I love you too." "Bye"

Later that afternoon one of Clara's classes was cancelled so she was walking around campus. She stopped to look at the bulletin board and a post about the police academy caught her eye.

That night Clara had just gotten back to Clay's.

"Hello?" She said walking through the door.

"Hi baby." He said from the couch.

"How was your first day?" She asked sitting down next to him.

"Good." They kissed. "Although I will admit, hearing the kids call me Mr. Jensen creeps me out."

"Why?"

"When I hear Mr. Jensen I think of my dad." "When they call me Mr. Jensen I feel about a hundred and I'm only twenty-one."

"You'll get used to it."

"How was work?"

"Good." I have more tips to add to the money pile." "I want to talk to you about something."

"That's funny because I want to talk to you about something." "You go first."

"Ok." "One of my classes got cancelled today, so I went for a walk around campus." "I was looking at the student bulletin board and I saw a post for the police academy." "I've done some research on it and I think I want to be a cop."

"A cop?"

"Yeah I'm thinking about enrolling in the academy when we move to California."

"What if you get shot?"

"I'd wear a bullet proof vest at all times on duty." "What do you think?"

"I think you should do whatever makes you happy." "I support you."

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well I was thinking, since we've gotten back together you've been staying here a lot." "Since we're moving in together next year anyway and most of your stuff is already here." "You should just um, move in here with me." He said nervously.

"You are so cute sweetheart." "I love when you get nervous when you ask me stuff." "I think it's a great idea." "I'd love to move in with you." They kissed.


	68. Chapter 68

Clara and Clay had just gotten home for Thanksgiving. Clara walked through the door of her house.

"I'm home." She said.

"We're in the kitchen." Christy said. She went into the kitchen.

"Hi mom." They hugged. "Hi dad." They hugged.

"Hi." Nick said.

"Where's Clay?" Christy asked.

"He decided to spend time with his parents tonight." "He'll be here for dinner tomorrow." "Which gives me the opportunity to talk to you guys about something."

"Are you pregnant?"

"No." Definitely not."

"Good." Nick said. "I'm not quite ready to be a grandpa just yet."

"I want to talk to you guys about my career plans."

"You don't want to be a psychologist anymore?" Christy asked.

"Eventually yes, I'm still getting the degree." "When I get to California, I'm enrolling in the police academy."

"The police academy?" Christy said surprised.

"I want to help people."

"Being a cop is dangerous."

"I've thought of the risks over and over again." "I think I would make a good cop and make a difference."

"I'll be worried about you but if you really want to do this, I support you." Nick said.

"Thanks dad." She looked at Christy. "Mom."

"I don't like it but I can't stop you." Christy said.

"I'll take every precaution I can, I promise." "I'll start off making seventy-thousand dollars a year." "I can eventually make up to a hundred and twenty-one thousand."

"It seems like you've really thought about this and done your research." Nick said.

"I have."

"Just be careful." Christy said.

"I will."

The next day Clara and Clay were out. Clay was in the car while Clara was in the flower shop. She came out with a bouquet of orchids. She got in the driver's side.

"Aw you got me flowers." Clay said

"They're not for you."

"Are you cheating on me?" He asked jokingly.

"Yeah I have like twenty other boyfriends." "You're my favorite though."

"That's good to know." "Where are we going."

"You'll see."

A few minutes later they pulled up at the cemetery.

"What are we doing here?" Clay asked.

"Well I figured we've never visited Hannah together." "I thought it would be nice."

"Come on."

They found Hannah's gravesite.

"Hi Hannah." Clay said.

"Hi Hannah." Clara said putting the orchids on Hannah's grave. "It's been a few years."

"For me to."

"Clay and I are back together." "You knew it all along, didn't you?" "We're gonna go." "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Bye Hannah." "I miss you."

Later that night Clay was having Thanksgiving dinner with Clara and her parents.

"How do you like student teaching Clay?" Nick asked.

"It's good." "I just have to get used to the students calling me Mr. Jensen."

"Makes you feel like an actual adult huh?"

"Yeah."

"Well once you two start living together next year you'll really feel like adults." Christy said. Clara and Clay just looked at each other.

They'd finished eating.

"Hey Clay." Nick said.

"What?"

"Wanna go get a beer?"

"I don't really drink but one won't hurt."

Clay and Nick left. Clara and Christy were doing the dishes.

"That was good dinner mom." Clara said.

"Thanks." "You and Clay seem happier then ever."

"We are."

"I thought for sure you were gonna tell us you were pregnant yesterday, well either that or engaged."

"I think Clay would faint if I told him I was pregnant."

"Do you think he'll ever propose?"

"I don't know." "We talked about it once." "He was all nervous when he brought it up." "It was adorable." "I've pictured the proposal in my head." "It'll be so cute if it happens."

Clay and Nick were at the bar.

"Do you remember when I said I might call you my son-in-law someday?" Nick asked.

"Yeah." "I've thought about it." "I want to marry her." "Not that we would get married right now but I would've asked her already." "I just can't afford a ring yet but as soon as I can, I'm going to propose to Clara." "Let's keep that between us."

"You got it."


	69. Chapter 69

Clara and Clay were graduating in two days. Clay was in California for an interview for a teaching job at Oak Valley High in Napa, California. He'd taken a flight there that morning and was returning soon. Clara was anxious to know if he'd gotten the job. She'd been accepted into the police academy. She was going to the police academy in San Diego for six weeks of training. They'd found an apartment in Napa that was only five minutes away from the beach. As a graduation Clara and Clay's parents decided to buy them furniture, dishes etc. for the apartment. Clara and Clay were flying to California the day after graduation. Their things were arriving to the apartment that day. Clara had been home from her last class for two hours. She was making dinner and waiting for Clay to get back. Clay came through the door.

"I'm home." He said. Clara came into the living room. Clay had something behind his back.

"Did you get it?"

"I got it." He said happily. "Classes start August 24th."

"This is great sweetheart." She hugged him. "What's behind your back?"

"I figured we'd celebrate a little bit tonight." He said pulling out a bottle of champagne from behind his back.

"We can drink some of it with dinner." "It's just about done."

Two days later everyone was at graduation. Including Clara and Clay's parents. They were sitting next to each other at the ceremony. Clara and Clay were waiting for the ceremony to begin.

"I can't believe we're about to graduate college." Clara said.

"I know." Clay said. "It seems like it just started yesterday." "We get to officially live together, without hiding it from everyone." "I have to go take my seat." "See you when it's over." He kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The next day they'd just gotten to their apartment in California. The moving truck was waiting for them. It was a decent size for there first place and had an extra room. They spent most of the day bringing in boxes, furniture and unpacking. After they ordered dinner and ate Clara was putting clothes away in the bedroom. Clara came into the room.

"I have an idea about the extra room." Clara said.

"What's that?"

"Eventually we can convert it into a home office for you." "So you can grade papers or whatever."

"That's a good idea." She felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind. "I'll be a teacher and you'll be my sexy police officer girlfriend." She turned to face him. They kissed. "Wanna test out our new bed?"

"Yeah." He turned her around to face the bed. He laid her down, got top of her and looked down at her.

"Is this ok?"

"Yes." "Are you still gonna ask me that if we ever get married?"

"Yeah." "I think you like it anyway."

"I do." They kissed.

It was one o'clock in the morning. Clara popped up in bed shaking.

"No." "Damn it, no." She said quietly and frustrated. Clay sat up. She looked at him. "Shit." "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." "I expected it." "I know new places trigger your nightmares."

"I hate this." "I don't want that bastard to be in my subconscious." "I don't want to think about him." "I just want to be happy with you."

"We can do that." "Your dreams are just a small part of your life." "You control everything else."

"I know." "I love you."

"I love you too." "Lay down with me." They laid down. She laid on his chest. "Just think about something that makes you happy."

"Well let's see." "That would be you."

"Good choice." "Listen, no matter how many nightmares you have, I'll always be here for you."


	70. Chapter 70

A year had passed. Clara and Clay were still going strong. Clara loved being a cop. She was just a patrol officer right now but hoped one day to be promoted to sergeant. Clay was one of the most popular teachers at Oak Valley High. All of his students loved him. He and Clara were saving to buy their first house. They figured about five more years of saving and they would have enough. They were going to lunch today. Clara showed up at the high school in full uniform. She was a few minutes early, so she stood in the back while Clay finished teaching. Most of his students knew Clara. Clay was talking. One of his students raised their hand.

"Yes Zack?" Clay said.

"Miss Randall is here." He said.

"Yes I know that, thank you." "Pay attention." A few minutes later the bell rang. Everyone got up to leave. "Don't forget to read pages fifteen thru thirty-seven this weekend." "I'll see you Monday." Everyone left. Clay went over to Clara. "Hi."

"Hi sweetheart." They kissed.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

After lunch Clara got in her car. She was going back to work. work was standing by the driver's side window.

"Be careful baby." Clay said.

"I will." "I'll see you tonight."

"Ok." "I love you." They kissed.

"I love you too."

The next night Clara and Clay had company over. Shortly after they moved to California, they met another couple on the beach. They been friends ever since. They were a few years old then Clara and Clay. There names were Grace and Dylan. They were all sitting in the living room playing a game, where you have to tell the truth if someone asks you a question or reveal an embarrassing secret.

"Clara, is Clay the only guy you've ever slept with?" Grace asked.

"No."

"Really?" "Who was the other guy?"

"Ben Williams." Clay said in an annoyed tone.

"I get the feeling you didn't like him." Dylan said.

"No I didn't."

"Was that in high school?" Grace asked.

"College." Clara said.

"Now for the real question." Dylan said. "When are you two gonna get married?"

"You guys aren't married either." Clay said.

"Yeah but we've talked about it and been ring shopping."

"We don't need to be married to be together." Clara said. "We just need to be together."

"Yeah, we love each other and that's all that matters."

The next weekend Clara and Clay went to the beach. They went there every weekend if Clara didn't have to work. They went to a spot where they could be alone. They were walking hand in hand. The sun was just starting to set.

"It's a beautiful day." Clara said.

"Yeah it is." He let go of her hand and got in front of her.

"What?"

"I have um, something I want to ask you." He said nervously.

"Why are you acting so weird?" She said confused.

He took a deep breath. "Um... He got down on one knee and took a little blue box out of his pocket. His hands were shaking. "I'm trying not to be but I'm nervous." "I've had this in layaway for four months." "I just got it out yesterday." He opened the box revealing a beautiful sliver diamond ring. "Clara, I've been in love with you since I was seventeen." "I wanted to ask you this for a few years now." "Clara, will you marry me?"

"Yes." He put the ring on her finger and stood up. They hugged. "That was as adorable as I always imagined." "I love you."

"I love you too." They kissed.


	71. Chapter 71

_Clay had just come through the front door._

 _"I'm home baby." He said. The person who came down the stairs wasn't who he was expecting. "Hannah?" He said confused. "Why are you here?"_

 _"Come on Clay." "We both know you still love me." They kissed. "Say it."_

 _"I love you." They kissed._

Clay woke up to the alarm clock going off. He been having dreams about Hannah ever since he proposed to Clara two months ago. He didn't understand why. Nobody from back home knew about Clara and Clay's engagement. They were planning on telling their parents when they went home for Thanksgiving break, which they were leaving for tomorrow. Clara had worked the nightshift the night before, so she was sleeping when Clay was about to leave for work. He went over to her side of the bed and knelt down.

"Clara." "Baby, wake up." She opened her eyes. "I'm leaving."

"Ok." "I'll be packed when you get home."

"Ok."

"Have a good day."

"I love you."

"I love you too." Bye."

"Bye."

Later that day they boarded a plane. It was an eight hour flight. It was night time once they landed and checked into a hotel. They met Tony at"Monet's" for coffee.

They were all sitting down talking.

"Tony we have something to tell you." Clara said. "We're um... She held up her ring hand.

"What?" Tony said shocked. "You guys are getting married?"

"Yeah." Clay said.

"How is it possible I didn't see the ring when you guys came in.?"

"I hid it in my purse." Clara said.

"I'm so happy for you guys."

"We want you to come to the wedding."

"Absolutely." "Just let me know where and when and I'm there."

The next day Clay's parents were at claraCl parents for Thanksgiving dinner. They were all sitting around the table eating. Clay had Clara's engagement ring in his pocket and slipped it to her under the table.

"There's a reason we asked you guys to have dinner here." Clay said looking at his parents. "We have an important announcement to make."

"I knew it." Lainie said.

"Me to." Christy said. She looked at Clara. "You're pregnant aren't you?"

"No but we are getting married." Clara said holding up her ring hand.

"When did this happen?" Nick asked.

"Two months ago."

"You're just now telling us?" Matt said.

"We wanted to tell you in person dad." Clay said.

"Well we've always thought of Clay as part of the family, now he officially will be." Christy said.

"It's long overdue." Nick said.

"We also will be happy to welcome Clara into our family." Lainie said.

"Yes we will." Matt said. "We've always thought you were perfect for Clay."

"Have you two decided on a date yet?" Christy asked.

"Not an exact date but have decided on this June." Clay said. "We want a beach ceremony." Clay said.

"So do you still want my wedding dress?" Christy asked looking at Clara.

"Yes, I told you if I ever got married I wanted to wear your dress." Clara said.

"You guys are staying all weekend right?"

"Yes."

"I'll get my wedding dress out of the attic tomorrow."


	72. Chapter 72

The next morning Clara went back to her parents to try on Christy's wedding dress. Christy had gotten it down from the attic. Christy was waiting for Clara in her bedroom. Clara was in her old bedroom trying on the dress.

"Here I come." Clara said from the hall. Clara came into the room. The dress was silk, sleeveless and backless. "What do you think?"

"You look perfect."

"Really?"

"Yes." "You look even prettier then I did."

"Do you think Clay will like it?"

"He'll love it."

"After we get married I'm gonna bring up the idea of having a baby."

"You wanna have a baby?"

"I've been thinking about it." "I don't mean any time soon but just something to think about for the future."

"I'd love to have a grandchild."

"I know."

"Your children would be beautiful."

"I just hope if we do have kids, they get Clay's brains."

"It's not like you're stupid."

"I know but Clay is extra smart."

Clay and Tony met for a morning coffee at "Monet's" they were sitting at a table.

"I'm kind of having a problem." Clay said.

"What kind of problem?"

"I'm having these dreams."

"What kind of dreams?'

"About Hannah."

"What are you guys doing in the dreams?"

"Sometimes kissing, sometimes, having sex." "She always makes me tell her I love her." "I don't know why I'm having these dreams now."

"How long have you been having these dreams?"

"Pretty much since I proposed to Clara."

"What does she think about the dreams?"

"She doesn't know."

"Clay, you almost lost her once that way." "Do you really want to go down that road again?"

"I can't tell her."

"Why?"

"If I do I'm afraid that she'll think I don't want to get married and I do." "I want to spend the rest of my life with her." "I have no idea why these dreams about Hannah are coming up now." "I don't know what to do."

"I don't know either but you shouldn't keep it from Clara."

Later that day Clara went back to the hotel.

"Sweetheart?" Clara called. "Clay?" She went into the bedroom. Clay was taking a nap.

"Hannah." Clay suddenly said popping up in bed. It happened so suddenly Clara jumped. He looked around and saw Clara.

"Were you dreaming about Hannah?"

"Yeah." He got a guilty look on his face.

"Sweetheart... She sat next to him on the bed. ... it's ok." "I know being here must bring up memories of her." "I'm not angry." She kissed him. "Wanna lay down together for awhile?"

"Yeah." He pulled back the covers. "Come here." She got under the blankets and laid on top of him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	73. Chapter 73

Clara had noticed that lately Clay was being a little distant. Like he used to be when they first started seeing each other. Clara still didn't know it was because of the dreams Clay was having about Hannah. Clay was in his home office grading papers. Clara had just finished making dinner and went to go get Clay.

"Sweetheart dinners ready." She said.

"I'll be there as soon as I finish grading this paper."

They were at the kitchen table eating. Clara was talking to Clay. He was thinking about the dream he had about Hannah last night.

"Clay." "Clay?" She said.

He snapped out of his thoughts. "What baby?" "I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart what is wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Is something going on at work?"

"No."

"It's me then." "What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"Clay, talk to me please." "Whatever's wrong I want to help or fix it."

"I am a little stressed but it has nothing to do with you." "It's happening to me."

"What's happening to you, what?"

"Nothing you need to worry about."

"I thought you trusted me." "I thought we could talk to each other about anything." "I guess I was wrong." She said hurt. She got up and went into the living room. Clay to the bedroom.

Clay came out of the bedroom a half hour later and sat down next to Clara on the couch.

"I'm sorry." Clay said.

"I'm sorry to." "I shouldn't push you to talk about something you don't want to talk about." "I'm here when you're ready."

"I know." "Are you mad at me?"

"No." "Are you mad at me?"

"No." "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure."

They laid down on the couch. She was laying on top of him. They were both almost asleep.

"I love you Clay." She said quietly.

"I love you too, Hannah."

"What?" She said surprised. She sat up.

He sat up realizing what he said. "Shit, I called you Hannah."

"Yes you did." "Why?"

"I've been having dreams about Hannah lately."

"For how long?"

"Since we got engaged."

"What are your dreams about?"

"Sometimes we're kissing, sometimes we're having sex." "She always makes me tell her I love her."

"I think I know why." "You don't really want to get married."

"Yes I do." I knew you would think that." "That's why I didn't want to tell you."

"I think you should see a therapist.'

"If that's what it takes to convince you I want to get married, I'll do it."


	74. Chapter 74

Clay had been in therapy for the last three weeks. He'd told his therapist all about Hannah and the tapes. They'd talked in-depth about her and Clara. Clay was in a session right now.

"Let's talk about the reason why your dreams of Hannah started." The doctor said.

"Well like I've said they started when I proposed to Clara."

"Do you think there's any reason behind it?"

"If you're going to suggest it's because I don't want to marry Clara you're wrong." "I love Clara." "I may still have Hannah in my head but Clara's the one who got me out of constantly thinking about her."

"I wasn't going to suggest that." "Marriage is a very big step." "While you want to get married subconsciously you may be panicking about it." "Getting married means really becoming an adult, growing up, letting go of the past." "I think Hannah is in your dreams because marrying Clara means truly letting her go."

"I let Hannah go a long time ago." "Or at least I thought I did."

Clay went home and started making dinner. A half hour later Clara walked through the door.

"Sweetheart, I'm home." She said.

"Kitchen." She went into the kitchen. "Hi."

"Hi." They kissed.

"Dinner will be ready in five minutes."

"How was your session today?"

"Really good." "I think we're making progress."

"That's great."

"Are you nervous about our session tomorrow?"

"No this isn't my first therapist." "I can handle it."

The next day Clara and Clay were at the therapist office. Clara was telling the therapist about her relationship with Clay and how Hannah fit into it.

"Even before we started dating I could sense there was someone else on his mind." Clara said. "I didn't even know her name until months after we began dating."

"How was she finally brought up?" The therapist asked.

"It was the night of our first attempt to make love, which didn't happen that night." "He said Hannah's name instead of mine."

"How did that make you feel?"

"At the time angry not knowing anything about Hannah at the time."

"And after?"

"Jealous for a long time." "I knew she was dead but that didn't change the fact that my boyfriend was in love with another girl."

"Do you still think Clay's in love with Hannah today?"

"Yes."

"What?" Clay said. "Clara no."

"It's alright Clay." "I know you do, even if you can't admit it." "I know that if she were still alive today, we wouldn't be together." "I've learned to accept it." "Hannah is part of your life and your package." "If I want to be with you, which I do, I have to accept it, which I have." "It's ok that I'm second, it's ok."

"You're not second Clara, I love you."

"I know but you also love Hannah and it's ok."

"What would make you think you were second?" The therapist said.

"I've always thought it." "Ever since Clay told me about Hannah." "I've just learned to accept it."

Later that night Clara was in bed. Clay got in bed next to her.

"Clara, you are not second to me." Clay said.

"It's ok."

"It's not true." "It's not." "You're first, I love you."

"I know."

"Hannah will always be part of my life but she is my past." "My future is with you." They kissed.


	75. Chapter 75

Clara and Clay's wedding was tomorrow. His dreams about Hannah had been happening less and less. He was still seeing his therapist. He was in a session with his therapist right now.

"How do you feel about tomorrow?" The therapist asked.

"Good." "I'm nervous but nervous excited."

"Any dreams about Hannah recently?"

"No I think they're stopping." "That's a good thing." "They need to." "Especially since Clara thinks I still love Hannah."

The that night keeping with tradition Clara was staying in a hotel room with Tony. He'd flew in for the wedding. They were having a mini bachelorette party. It wasn't anything big. They were just sitting around pigging out on junk food.

"So tomorrow you'll be a married woman." Tony said.

"Yeah."

"How does it feel?"

"Great." "I can't wait to marry Clay."

"I know." "I'm so happy for you guys."

"I'm just glad I met you." "Clay helped me a lot when I met him but so did you."

"Have you guys talked about having kids?"

"No but I've thought about it." "Not any time soon but I want kids." "After we get married I'm bringing up the idea of having a baby to Clay."

"Boy I'd love to see his reaction to that." "I mean I know he'll be open to the idea but I know he'll be nervous."

"Yeah it'll be adorable."

The next afternoon everyone went to the beach. Not very many people were there just Clara and Clay's parents and a few of their friends. Clara met her parents further down the beach in her car. She was in her dress.

"You look so beautiful." Christy said starting to cry.

"Mom don't start crying already." Clara said.

"You do look beautiful." Nick said.

"Thanks." "Well it's time to get in my car and go to my future husband." She said smiling.

The altar was set up right by the ocean. Clay was waiting for Clara. When she started to come down the aisle Clay thought she looked so beautiful. Her eyes were locked on him. Butterflies were in her stomach. She couldn't believe her wedding day was here. After what seemed like the longest walk of her life, she finally made it to him. They exchanged rings.

"Do you take this woman to be your wife?" The priest asked.

"I do." Clay said smiling.

"Do you take this man to be your husband?"

"I do." She said happily.

"By the power invested in me, by the state of California, I now pronounce you man and wife." "You may now kiss the bride." They kissed.

They had a wedding reception at the beach as well. Everyone had a great time.

After the reception Clara and Clay went back to their apartment. They were laying in bed.

"Still like having sex with me now that we're married?" Clara asked smiling.

"I'll never get tired of that."

"Sweetheart I want to talk to you about something?"

"Do you want a divorce already?" He said jokingly. "We've only been married for six hours."

She laughed. "No." "In a few years, what would you think about having a baby?"

"A baby?" "Wow, a baby." He said nervously.

"Yeah." "You know, a little mini version of me and you."

"I love the idea."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I hope our kids have your brains."

"Nothing is wrong with your brains." "Or the rest of you." He smiled. "Want to do baby making practice?"

"Sure."


	76. Chapter 76

Clara and Clay had been married for a year. They were very happy. They'd recently started looking for houses. Clara had been tired lately. She'd been working a lot. It was midterm time at Oak High School, so it was a busy time for Clay to. They'd barely seen each other in the last month. It was night time. Clara had just gotten home from work.

"Sweetheart I'm home." She said.

"I'm in the kitchen baby." She went into the kitchen. He was sitting there grading midterm papers. "Hi."

"Hi." They kissed.

"How was your day?"

"Busy." "Yours?"

"Same." She sighed. "What?"

"Nothing." "I'm just stressed out from working so much.

"How long's it been since you had a day off?"

"I don't know." "Two weeks maybe."

"Maybe you should cut back on your hours."

"I can't." "I'm trying to get a promotion."

"Yeah but a promotion won't do any good if you die from exhaustion."

"I'm gonna take a bath and go to bed."

"Alright." "I'll be up in about an hour or so."

"Ok I love you."

"I love you too."

The next afternoon it around three when Clay got home. When he walked through the door Clara was waiting for him.

"Hi sweetheart." She said smiling.

"Hi."

"We need to talk." "Is it important?" "I need to get started on these papers.

"Clay, I'm pregnant."

"That's good." Then it hit him. "Wait, what?"

"I'm pregnant sweetheart." "We're gonna have a baby."

We weren't even trying." He said shocked.

"I know."

"So, I'm gonna be a dad."

"Yeah."

He smiled. "Come here." They hugged. "We're having a baby." He said happily. He kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	77. Chapter 77

Five years later Clara and Clay were in Crestmont for their ten year high school reunion. It was tonight. They'd taken their four year old daughter Casey with them. Casey looked like the perfect mixture of Clara and Clay. She was exceptionally smart like Clay. She was only in preschool but knew how to read. Clara, Clay and Casey were in the car. Clay was driving.

"Where are we going mommy?" Casey asked.

"We're going to see uncle Tony." Clara said.

"Uncle Tony's here?"

"Uncle Tony lives here."

They pulled up across from Monet's and went inside. Tony was waiting for them at a table.

"Uncle Tony." Casey said running up to him excitedly.

"There's my girl." Tony said. He picked her up. "How are you?"

"Good."

"That's good." He put her down. "Hey." He said hugging Clara

"Hi."

"Hey Tony." Clay said.

"Hey." They hugged.

They were all talking. Casey was playing on Clara's phone.

"I can't believe it's been ten years since high school already." Clara said.

"I know." Tony said. "We're old."

"I'm not old." Clay said.

"Well sweetheart, technically you are older then me." Clara said jokingly and smiling.

"You didn't seem to think I was so old last night." He said smirking at her. Clara and Tony both laughed.

"Sweetheart not in front of Casey.

"She's not even listening." "Are you Casey?" He said looking sa her.

Casey looked up. "What daddy?"

He looked back at Clara. "See."

Later that night Clara and Clay dropped Casey off with Christy and Nick and headed to their high school reunion. They'd just walked into the school gym. Music was playing from the year of their graduating class.

"Wow it's so weird being back here." Clay said.

"I know."

They were walking around saying hi to people. Eventually they spotted a tribute to Hannah. A big picture of her was hanging up. They went over to it.

"I can't believe she's been gone for ten years." Clay said trying to hide his sadness but Clara could tell. Clay had thought that Clara had not thought she was second to Hannah anymore but she did. She just never told him about it again. She knew he would always love Hannah the most and she accepted it.


End file.
